S5 E1: Stop Wearing Your Wife’s Underwear To Work

A calm, focused recording was never on the menu. We’re juggling The Isle dinosaur survival and Marvel Rivals while our group chat energy turns into a full-on ADHD After Dark spiral, complete with bad plans, worse timing, and the kind of trash talk you only survive with close friends.

We start with life updates that somehow turn into everything at once: a hockey championship flex, a promised Survivor watch that sparks an argument, and the reality of moving into a not-so-ready house where maintenance fixes the wrong things and an outlet might literally be wired backward. Then we’re right back to gaming, making bold calls like we’re geniuses, until we learn the hard way that “let’s jump the big one” is not a strategy when the big one is a T-Rex.

And just when you think we’ll stay on games, the conversation detonates into stories and rabbit holes: the infamous laugh-too-hard puke sprint, road trip sign comedy, and a surprisingly serious detour into cult documentaries, FLDS “prophets,” Scientology, and why dystopian shows like The Handmaid’s Tale hit differently when real belief systems echo control and power.

If you like comedy podcasts, gaming podcasts, and unfiltered friend-group banter that swerves into real talk without warning, hit play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who can’t stay on topic, and leave a review with the most unhinged tangent you want us to chase next.

Twitter - https://twitter.com/DarkAfterAdhd

Transcript

Time Travel Jokes And Chaos

SPEAKER_11 0:00

Alright. Yeah, we're live. We're not live. We're live if you're playing this live, but this was in the past. But it's in the future for us.

SPEAKER_03 0:13

Right now.

SPEAKER_11 0:14

Yeah, we're live for Ken. We're giving Ken a fucking show.

SPEAKER_03 0:17

Isn't time just moving? Oh, bang. Hang on, hang on.

SPEAKER_11 0:23

Hang on, back up, back up. We gotta have Murky describe time like he did the Big Bang.

SPEAKER_03 0:27

I can't do it. I'm not that fucked up. God damn it. Tragic.

SPEAKER_06 0:31

What a little bitch. I've heard that about him.

SPEAKER_03 0:37

Why do you wear your wife's pants? I can't wear fucking sweatpants to work, apparently, even though I have to change at work into all my work clothes. I can't be comfortable.

SPEAKER_05 0:48

I don't. Well then why would they say that?

SPEAKER_11 0:55

That's weird.

SPEAKER_06 0:59

There's meat up here.

SPEAKER_11 1:02

What oh, you're playing you're playing dinosaur. Yeah. Hey Switch, I bought the lobby thing.

SPEAKER_06 1:10

Did you? Yeah. I'm gonna buy it too when I get paid.

SPEAKER_11 1:12

You only you only get the main the uh the original Avengers. You can't select anybody else.

SPEAKER_06 1:18

Really?

SPEAKER_11 1:19

Yep.

SPEAKER_06 1:20

The description I saw, the tweet from Rivals said that you could it shows your your uh lobby's uh preferred heroes.

SPEAKER_04 1:29

There's the stuff in need all.

SPEAKER_11 1:30

Maybe I'm dumb.

SPEAKER_04 1:31

You must wine a little farther ahead.

SPEAKER_11 1:34

Uh so I fucking already forgot that we're live on ADHD after dark. Welcome to ADHD after dark. Somebody eat switch. We're back. We're I mean this is an excuse. This is an episode. We're back if we do like two in a row. Hi, E.

SPEAKER_05 1:52

There's there's possibility.

SPEAKER_06 1:54

Why is E not in here? E is in here. He's playing Power World.

SPEAKER_04 1:58

Oh yeah. Uh video game. I'm trying to fix my computer. You said you were playing PowerWorld earlier. Well, I was playing it earlier, not playing now. Oh. I see, I see.

SPEAKER_05 2:16

I think I know what you should do is play the aisle. Oh, that's gross. Uh, with what money? Uh I don't know.

SPEAKER_11 2:26

I'm not gonna buy it for him, you buy it for him. I buy people enough games.

SPEAKER_05 2:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_11 2:34

Yeah, well, this this time somebody's asking. Ricky, is this you? Uh Ricky?

SPEAKER_05 2:41

Right here? You're swimming around? Okay, you almost got eight.

SPEAKER_11 2:46

The bolt's fucking not gonna play Power World with us, E. Because he's not? Yeah, because he's a little bitch boy.

SPEAKER_05 2:56

Why is he a little bitch boy?

SPEAKER_03 2:58

Why is he not playing because he's an alpha over here?

SPEAKER_05 3:02

He's a one. Hold on. I wanna see if I can get it.

SPEAKER_11 3:06

Because the bolt never likes playing stuff with us. He likes avoiding us.

SPEAKER_05 3:11

I see.

SPEAKER_11 3:13

We're gonna have to fucking not rap his own. We're gonna have to fucking sick Chris Benoit after him. Oh no, don't say that. Don't say what? You don't wanna throw up? Do you want to explain your throw up story about Chris Benoit?

SPEAKER_03 3:29

Oh yeah. Switching, uh everybody was over. And you know, people start going. People started going, is that what you said? And we're sitting in the kitchen, and me and Ethan were talking about uh Brock Lesnar retiring. I ran all this way for one single fucking bite. Are you dicking me?

Hockey Win And ESPN Bit

SPEAKER_04 3:59

Oh, you're dicking my ass. Right. Dicking my ass. No, I think it's up on top of this rock.

SPEAKER_03 4:08

Some super bullshit.

SPEAKER_11 4:10

And then he threw up everywhere. You know what else is fucking cool. I'm a champion. Yeah, you fucking are. I'm a champion. Oh yeah, hell yeah. A hockey champion. Hockey champion. Fucking our team went 111 and fucking won.

SPEAKER_05 4:32

I saw the highlights on ESPN this morning.

SPEAKER_11 4:34

Fucking murky called me uh after I got done with my shower for fucking what was the fucking station you were recording for? Oh, I was saying ESPN ABO joke. He fucking ended, and I was like, I was like, I see you guys joking over here. I'm sorry I hung up on you, but I thought you were done with a bit, so I just hung up and I heard you. I was done with the bit. You're right. I heard I heard you like right as I as you hung up, I was or as I hung up, I heard you go and say something else, and I was like, ooh, ooh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to actually hang up. Welcome to ADHD after dark. Welcome to ADHD after dark. You're in an episode.

SPEAKER_08 5:16

Oh, um, what happened to watching Survivor today?

SPEAKER_11 5:20

Oh, oh, when we were.

SPEAKER_03 5:30

I know. Uh yeah, I kind of fucking spaced that one.

SPEAKER_08 5:34

Don't you happy bel Happy belated birthday, E. I totally meant to tell you the other day. Happy birthday!

SPEAKER_03 5:41

Thank you. Hey, other question, E, did Shannon leave her glasses here by chance? Yes, she did.

SPEAKER_08 5:46

Yeah, there's there's some green sunglasses here. Those are hers.

Survivor Plans Spark A Rift

SPEAKER_09 5:50

Yeah, she she realized that she left them like when we were halfway up going back. Uh back to you.

SPEAKER_08 6:02

Um, okay, so Survivor?

SPEAKER_03 6:05

Um, not gonna be right now. So you're gonna Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_08 6:08

I'm gonna watch it without you.

SPEAKER_03 6:09

No.

SPEAKER_11 6:11

Well, I feel like I feel like we're better fighting. We're we're causing a a uh a rift here. You dare watch it.

SPEAKER_10 6:19

ADHD I don't feel like it's ADHD causing a rift. I feel David is causing a rift.

SPEAKER_03 6:26

I feel I said we were gonna watch Survivor today, but now we're not.

SPEAKER_13 6:34

Quick, take your finger up his ass.

SPEAKER_05 6:37

I don't know what that's gonna change, but I think you should do it as well.

SPEAKER_08 6:40

I did I did get a good smack in earlier.

SPEAKER_03 6:43

Yeah, she smacked my ass earlier, dude. My cheek hurt for a minute. It's like when he's vulnerable.

SPEAKER_08 6:49

When he did it to me at Coco's house last week, and I was like, dang, that hurt. I did it to him this week.

SPEAKER_03 6:57

Yeah, I was bed over the fucking countertop, just like on my phone. She came up behind me. I should have known better. Dude, she started creeping around my backside.

SPEAKER_11 7:06

I'm gonna creep around your backside.

SPEAKER_08 7:09

Yeah, yes.

SPEAKER_11 7:11

I got me a more that isn't aware. Uh Murky, is this you? Yes. They are they're playing the Isle.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_08 7:25

Oh Dinosuchuses. So during the podcast, you're playing dinos.

SPEAKER_05 7:32

Yes.

SPEAKER_11 7:33

Well, I'm playing Marvel Rivals right now.

SPEAKER_05 7:35

Yeah, we generally do play some kind of game or something because you know the ADHD, we can't focus on one thing at a time. We have to focus on like ten.

SPEAKER_00 7:45

I see, I see.

SPEAKER_05 7:47

I got pretty close to what he's playing again. I'm gonna die. Are you gonna die? Yeah, we might eat him anyways.

SPEAKER_08 7:55

You should.

SPEAKER_06 7:59

Does that mean I can eat his ass?

SPEAKER_05 8:01

Yeah, I was about to say start at the anus.

SPEAKER_11 8:04

Yeah, you should you're gonna have to fucking fucking start at his Dino. Jesus Christ. The Dino C in. The D-Nosse. The Dino C.

SPEAKER_08 8:15

You guys have all changed your names.

SPEAKER_04 8:17

So I have I have lost you officially because I can't fucking Okay, you guys are over here.

SPEAKER_11 8:22

His name is Crock Mouth Billy Bass. Uh Xeno Xeno Switch is transgator, and I'm Jeff the Landshard. Over by Death Bridge.

SPEAKER_08 8:33

Um, Switch, David is over five.

SPEAKER_05 8:37

What? Ooh. Shame. Shame.

SPEAKER_08 8:45

And he still has one more for the ninth that he'll smoke.

SPEAKER_06 8:49

Meet over here. Come eat. Children.

SPEAKER_11 8:52

You're gonna eat children? I am not child. Do you want me to fucking scrub the recording?

SPEAKER_05 9:00

No.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

Oh, is it the Y?

SPEAKER_05 9:05

And there's this dinosuchus, right? I'm gonna fucking show you my dinosuchus.

SPEAKER_03 9:09

There's an A and a Y over there. Don't fucking eat me.

SPEAKER_04 9:12

What you're the Y, baby.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

Switch, where's my lady?

SPEAKER_06 9:18

Milady. She left today to go see her dad in another state.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

She left today?

New House Problems And Maintenance

SPEAKER_06 9:24

Yeah, she was gonna leave tomorrow and then she left today.

SPEAKER_00 9:31

Ooh. Did maintenance come today?

SPEAKER_03 9:34

Oh yeah. What was maintenance coming to your place for?

SPEAKER_06 9:41

The cause for some reason they did not have this fucking house prepared for our move in and had shit to do still.

SPEAKER_11 9:49

I was so angry. That's fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_06 9:52

That seems They only addressed a little bit of stuff today, too. Not even the stuff that we asked them to address.

SPEAKER_11 9:58

Cool.

SPEAKER_06 9:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 9:59

What did they address?

SPEAKER_06 10:01

Uh they replaced the garbage disposal. Okay. Okay. Checked the outlets to make sure that they were grounded, which I I don't know what the answer was because I was at work, but they said. Um just text her. And then I also asked her to make sure that they knew that one of the outlets out here in the living room is wired backwards. Wired backwards. Yeah. How do you know that? Then because the neutral and the hot wire are are mixed up.

SPEAKER_03 10:35

Oh, there's a fucking mix pack moving through. Where? Where are you? I don't know where you are. Right where we were eating all those. Uh definitely not a new house.

SPEAKER_06 10:51

Oh, I see. I see a little guy.

SPEAKER_08 10:53

Here, hold on. I can tell you.

SPEAKER_11 10:59

I'll tell you this much. This house definitely ain't new.

SPEAKER_02 11:04

It was if it was a new house, I could honestly believe that shit.

SPEAKER_08 11:22

The earliest listing for it was September of 2018.

SPEAKER_11 11:28

It's way older than that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 11:31

Oh yeah, this house is probably, I'm guessing, from like the 60s.

SPEAKER_08 11:33

Oh, it's from 1948.

SPEAKER_02 11:36

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 11:43

They got uh the landlord specials of the landlord specials. Of course that sounds kind of not.

SPEAKER_10 11:50

Um I think we went back south.

SPEAKER_06 11:53

No, I originally where we ate the meat.

SPEAKER_05 11:59

I was moving up to the creek north under the bridge.

SPEAKER_03 12:03

Oh, okay. That is you up there. See, yeah, I was moving north. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_05 12:06

I was moving north. I'm coming.

SPEAKER_11 12:09

I'm I'm definitely. Eat him!

SPEAKER_06 12:19

Hey Panus. Did you? Yeah. Where's the pack? I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 12:25

We should we should try to ambush them when they get water. I saw it on the radar. They were red. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:33

Just a heads up. Um within the last. I mean you saw it on the radar.

SPEAKER_08 12:38

Nobody's listening to you, Dave. Nobody cares.

SPEAKER_03 12:42

Oh my god. That's fucked. Like I'm over the podcast. Oh fuck yourself, everybody. My wife fucking hates me.

SPEAKER_08 12:52

I do not. I do not.

SPEAKER_03 12:55

That's great.

SPEAKER_07 13:04

Is that true, Dusty?

SPEAKER_05 13:05

Do you do that? Easy.

SPEAKER_11 13:07

Wow. Is he your good little piggy piggyback? Is he your good little piggy bank? Just say yes.

SPEAKER_08 13:16

No, he's not. I make my own money.

SPEAKER_03 13:19

He's like, he doesn't even make that.

SPEAKER_11 13:23

That's not why he's a piggy bank.

SPEAKER_08 13:25

I did spend his money on rent today.

SPEAKER_03 13:29

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_13 13:33

So we can have a place to live.

SPEAKER_11 13:36

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_08 13:37

Yeah, so move in party at our house. Um, probably the weekend of the 15th is when we're gonna move stuff, which isn't much.

SPEAKER_05 13:50

I mean, it's gonna be like kitchen stuff, bed, yeah, couch, and a bunch of boxes party this weekend.

SPEAKER_08 13:59

Yeah, you sound a lot better today.

SPEAKER_05 14:02

I f you know, it's like every other hour I feel great, or I feel like I'm gonna die because of all the congestion in my face.

SPEAKER_06 14:11

Well, really, it's just a pussy.

SPEAKER_05 14:13

It's just a pussy primarily.

SPEAKER_08 14:16

I am worried about you, and I do feel like you should go see a doctor because you are too sick lately.

SPEAKER_05 14:22

I don't need to see a doctor. I've got Coco.

SPEAKER_11 14:25

What? Yeah, what he did. I I need you to explain a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 14:32

Well, like you're you're my doctor.

unknown 14:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 14:35

Carly's not your doctor.

Speeding Ticket And Road Sign Laughs

SPEAKER_11 14:38

I'm gonna have to side with Dusty here. Coco, what did I pay you 50 bucks for? You didn't. Who did I give 50 bucks to? I don't know. Go check your fucking credit card bill.

SPEAKER_06 14:49

This just in. My mother was two hours away from home before getting her first speeding ticket in like 20 years. What? Yep. There's a deer in the water. I'm getting them. How fast is she going? Oh, I don't know. I haven't asked yet. I think I got his ass. Yep, I'm carrying his ass over here. Yeah, brother.

SPEAKER_08 15:11

Was she going back? Uh like was she going back the way we came, like up through Sedona and down?

SPEAKER_06 15:18

She's going through Flagstaff.

SPEAKER_08 15:21

Okay, and that's where she got her ticket of all places.

SPEAKER_06 15:24

Yep.

SPEAKER_08 15:25

Not the other six cities we just drove through.

SPEAKER_05 15:29

Nope. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_08 15:34

Um speaking of, you should definitely you should definitely name this the the Uranus Sudge Factory podcast.

SPEAKER_11 15:42

Oh my god, fucking Murg, you want to give some fucking overview on some of the funny signs you saw?

SPEAKER_03 15:49

Oh yeah. Oh, the Bussy Bank? The Bussy Bank.

SPEAKER_06 15:54

The Bussy Bank of Man Pussy. By the way, if you smoke weed, you're a fucking felon.

SPEAKER_03 16:00

Yeah. Crossing into Texas. Do you smoke weed? You're a fucking felon. One mile away. Do you have weed? When you get busted, give us a call.

SPEAKER_05 16:25

It was a good time. Are you hungry?

SPEAKER_03 16:28

I'm only I only need like a bite.

SPEAKER_04 16:32

Come get you some, baby boy. Switch is gonna fucking be birded to him.

SPEAKER_11 16:37

Switch, you're gonna need to uh fucking fill in tomorrow, I think. I do. Okay. So if you're free.

SPEAKER_06 16:45

That answers the question about the card shop.

SPEAKER_11 16:47

Alright. Ken's gonna cry. Just so you know.

SPEAKER_08 16:50

What are you filling in for?

SPEAKER_11 16:52

My rivals team. We're playing uh, I think we're playing Apple tomorrow.

SPEAKER_06 16:59

Oh hell yeah. I want to beat Apple.

SPEAKER_03 17:01

Look at Carnel, look at Carnel. We wanna fucking beat Apple's ass. Great Southwest, Southwest. Oh, I see him. He's a big boy.

SPEAKER_08 17:11

Ken, do you have a do you have a Facebook?

T-Rex Disaster And Social Creeping

SPEAKER_03 17:13

We can fuck all the way to fuck him up. All three of us can fuck him up. Oh, he's in our fucking curve. He's in the water. Beat his ass. Beat his ass. Oh he's scared.

SPEAKER_11 17:22

Look at him. He's scared. Is that a T-Rex? Oh, he's scared. Well. Oh no, he's eating Zo.

SPEAKER_08 17:32

I had a girl at work. I was trying to creep on Z is now.

SPEAKER_11 17:38

That's five hours of progress. Gone, everybody. No! Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_06 17:44

That's a T-Rex. That's not a cardo.

SPEAKER_08 17:47

Anyways, it was a T-Rex. I was trying to creep because I was trying to set you up with somebody and then I didn't have a Facebook to show her to creep with.

SPEAKER_12 17:55

David told me.

SPEAKER_08 17:57

I was like, dang.

SPEAKER_12 18:00

No, I don't really have social medias anymore.

SPEAKER_08 18:03

It's my favorite thing to do.

SPEAKER_13 18:06

To creep?

SPEAKER_03 18:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 18:10

I think my sec I think the second favorite thing was fucking showing that guy the dildo and saying, you want some, come get it.

SPEAKER_08 18:16

Oh my god. That was that was literally the greatest thing of my life.

SPEAKER_11 18:22

Dude, you had that guy rock hard and then fucking flaccid in a split second.

SPEAKER_08 18:27

I just can't wait to run into him at the bar one day, and I'm gonna let David just told that story.

SPEAKER_13 18:35

That was the fucking funniest shit I've heard in years.

SPEAKER_11 18:38

We were dead. We were fucking dead, no, I'm dead. You got me dude! No. You guys fucking suck wiener.

SPEAKER_06 18:48

You suck. We fucking suck. I'm going to rival.

SPEAKER_05 18:52

I mean, we probably shouldn't have tried to fuck with a T-Rex that to be pretty.

SPEAKER_06 18:57

Somebody said it's a Carno, so well.

SPEAKER_03 19:00

Um shouldn't have listened to the baby. That's what I meant to say. Carnival. Dude, I was watching all the triceratops.

SPEAKER_11 19:08

You said you said it was a carno, and I looked at that and I was like, that's a fucking full-grown T-Rex.

SPEAKER_06 19:15

Yeah, let's do it. My mom was going 90. In what? Like in a fucking 70s.

SPEAKER_05 19:23

In a 75?

SPEAKER_06 19:25

In a 75. Well, she was passing a line of cars, and one of the cars happened to be a cop, I guess.

SPEAKER_11 19:30

Well, reckless. Well, that'll that'll do it. That'll fucking do it.

SPEAKER_03 19:38

You can't give me one second, I'm gonna use the bathroom, but okay.

SPEAKER_04 19:41

I'm gonna get in. That's an excuse for him to hop off and watch Survivor. Oh, is that what he's doing? Is fucking kill him. He's already dead.

SPEAKER_06 19:50

Yeah, he's already dead.

SPEAKER_08 19:52

Wow, babe.

SPEAKER_06 19:55

It led me and Xeno toward death.

SPEAKER_08 19:57

Now what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna order some flat rock and then we're gonna go pick that up.

Ordering Food And Dark Humor

SPEAKER_03 20:02

Uh you can just take my card and order some fire rock.

SPEAKER_08 20:05

Why do I have to go look at it myself? I don't want to go back.

SPEAKER_03 20:11

Yeah, we don't have to.

SPEAKER_08 20:12

And it's gonna take 30. It says 35 to 40 minutes for pickup.

SPEAKER_11 20:16

Yeah, you just yeah, you'll it'll be done by the time we're done with the podcast. We're not going until past we're not going until past eight for sure.

SPEAKER_05 20:24

Then it cuts his dinosaur time down too. Well, well, he's gonna have to watch the all day.

SPEAKER_11 20:30

He's gonna have to fucking Yeah, he was looking forward to that and not watching Survivor like he promised.

SPEAKER_08 20:35

Yeah, he did promise.

SPEAKER_11 20:38

Wild. If fucking you show up fucking dead tomorrow, I'll know why. And I'm not gonna tell the police who to fucking look at.

SPEAKER_06 20:47

We won't even know. We won't even know because he's supposed to be on vacation the next week. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 20:51

Too soon, Coco. Too soon. For what? The murder the murder comment. Too soon.

SPEAKER_05 21:00

Why is it too soon? Never too soon.

SPEAKER_08 21:02

My boss?

SPEAKER_11 21:03

Oh sorry, I didn't I forgot about that because I was at the funeral home today. I thought that's what you were talking about.

SPEAKER_08 21:10

No, no, my my my double my double shooting murder suicide boss.

SPEAKER_03 21:21

That's fair.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

David, what do you want?

SPEAKER_05 21:25

Uh some brussy sprouts. What's the count on it?

SPEAKER_11 22:00

You just let me know when.

SPEAKER_08 22:01

Tomato, lettuce, onion, and shredded pickle.

SPEAKER_11 22:05

Wow.

SPEAKER_08 22:05

And their shredded pickle is so good.

SPEAKER_05 22:10

Cocoa and switch. Uh, on Saturday, we can go to my favorite restaurant around the corner from Krista's apartment. And that is it's called the farm bar.

SPEAKER_11 22:21

The farm bar? Did we just dox Krista's apartment?

SPEAKER_05 22:25

No, there's several farm bars.

SPEAKER_08 22:27

No, I was gonna say there's like so many. That sounds delicious.

SPEAKER_05 22:32

So good. We're gonna fit the best cheese curds ever.

SPEAKER_11 22:36

Do you want to do do you wanna do the the the fucking Loki event switch, or do you just want to play regular?

SPEAKER_06 22:43

I kind of just want to play regular. We can try the low-key one if you want.

SPEAKER_11 22:46

Nah, we can go regular.

SPEAKER_08 22:50

Or do you want to do blood hunt? The best curds.

SPEAKER_05 22:52

The what place?

SPEAKER_08 22:54

I don't want to like say the name, but the cow place.

SPEAKER_05 22:58

Oh.

SPEAKER_06 22:59

The cow place.

SPEAKER_05 23:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 23:01

I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be back.

SPEAKER_11 23:05

Oh? That sounds good.

SPEAKER_00 23:11

Little things for their kisses, little.

SPEAKER_11 23:13

Oh, their kisses, little.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

And he's biting my bracelet.

SPEAKER_05 23:20

What a guy. Cade is just passed out.

SPEAKER_08 23:24

Little's in my lap right now.

SPEAKER_05 23:27

Cade is in his little bed attached to my desk. Uh we'll see. I'm not sure George is ready for Cade. I really think George prefers to be an only child.

SPEAKER_11 23:50

That's unfortunate. Oh yes.

SPEAKER_08 23:53

Her life's about to change.

SPEAKER_05 23:56

Yeah. She's just now like being more comfortable with me.

unknown 24:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 24:06

Well this is.

SPEAKER_05 24:06

She's just like, alright, I guess you're not going anywhere. Like she'll uh sit in my lap, unprovoked and stuff like that. Oh not unless, like, Chris is not an option, though, of course. If Chris is an option, she's like, who the fuck are you?

unknown 24:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:27

But if it's just her and I, she's like, alright, I guess.

SPEAKER_11 24:31

So when's Chris's like official move in date with you? I know, I know we're helping move stuff on uh question. On what? Uh tomorrow. No, not tomorrow, two days from now.

SPEAKER_05 24:46

Her official move is uh end of May.

SPEAKER_11 24:51

Is there like a date? Or is it like May 31st?

SPEAKER_05 24:57

May 31st, because I think that's the Memorial Day weekend. No, Memorial Day. I think Memorial Day weekend we're moving a bunch of stuff. So we'll probably have most everything done Memorial Day weekend.

SPEAKER_03 25:15

Oh yeah. Don, how'd you get T-Rex out of Triceratops? What?

SPEAKER_13 25:23

He wasn't paying attention to you.

SPEAKER_11 25:25

You're such a fucking idiot. You're so dumb, Zeno!

SPEAKER_05 25:31

I just heard what I wanted to hear, and that was T-Rex.

SPEAKER_08 25:36

That's the Gurrger you said.

SPEAKER_05 25:39

Where are you at? Where you at? Where you at?

SPEAKER_03 25:41

Where you at?

SPEAKER_08 25:42

No Mazzi Ralph.

SPEAKER_03 25:45

We can do the Southwest Egg rolls.

SPEAKER_08 25:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

Southwest egg rolls flat.

SPEAKER_08 25:50

Dude, they're so good.

SPEAKER_06 25:52

Uh uh, I'll take an order of the sprouts.

SPEAKER_08 25:56

Alright, sir. I expect you over here in 30 minutes.

SPEAKER_06 25:59

On my way.

SPEAKER_05 26:01

See you. It's been fun.

SPEAKER_08 26:04

I know.

SPEAKER_05 26:06

Where the fuck are you? I'm fucking hunting, doing T-Rex stuff.

SPEAKER_11 26:11

Are you still doing shader switch?

SPEAKER_05 26:14

I'm in the bathroom, I told you.

SPEAKER_11 26:16

Oh. Are you working towards uh couldn't tell because you were also talking about it?

SPEAKER_03 26:22

What's your fucking location, you bitch? I put it in the maps. What? Wow.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

Sorry, that was that was aggressive.

SPEAKER_11 26:29

So what are you a triceratops, Murky, or are you a fucking where we were invaders?

SPEAKER_05 26:34

Or you a T-Rex? There we are. We're close. I'm downhill.

SPEAKER_03 26:41

Okay. Uh I'm gonna see towards migration and okay, towards the Alpha Mark.

SPEAKER_09 26:46

Perfect. I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running.

SPEAKER_11 26:54

Man, I can't get ADHD after dark so unprepared. I have nothing to talk about.

SPEAKER_05 26:58

And it's been fucking fucking ADHD after dark.

SPEAKER_03 27:02

It's been months. Back to the puke thing. I forgot about that.

SPEAKER_05 27:07

Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:10

Right. Me and Ethan were talking about Brock Lesnar retiring. And I was like, you know, one of the greats in a c in combat sports history. And he's like, Are you fucking leaving out Kurt Angle? And I was like, no. Like, Kurt Angle's gonna win the gold medal. But Brock Lesnar is a you know UFC heavyweight champion. As well as you know, all the WWE accolades, blah blah blah. He's like, Kurt Angle fucking, he's like, name another motherfucker, other than Eddie Guerrero, be suplexing deuce three, you know, three times at once. I'm like, well, I would say Chris Benoit, but we can't fucking talk about him, can we?

SPEAKER_01 27:52

And uh Ethan goes, we can't talk about Bruno, we can't talk about Cris bedrois.

SPEAKER_03 28:01

And he said something else, and the last part got me. And I felt I was laughing so hard, I felt the throw-up come up, and then I tried to fucking keep it down. Instead of keeping it down, I just started to choke myself. Uh and I stand up, about to throw up, and my mind doesn't say, Dave, take one step backwards and go outside, or take three steps to the right and go to the trash can. Says, David, take two dozen steps and go to the bathroom.

SPEAKER_05 28:31

And throw up on your friend along the way.

SPEAKER_03 28:33

Yeah, so I ax I accidentally threw up on switch slightly. Uh by slightly, I mean a bit. Slightly I mean a bit. It's a bit. There was a lot of boba audio.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

It was on his whole clothes.

SPEAKER_03 28:49

And I throw up, and then I just can't breathe because I fucking tried to suck it back down, so now I'm choking.

SPEAKER_08 28:57

I don't think it'll be ready by 8 14, and you don't need to tip.

SPEAKER_03 29:10

Oh, you already tipped? Jeez.

SPEAKER_08 29:14

The last time I didn't tell him that, he like tips him double, and I was like, I'm good.

SPEAKER_03 29:20

Had a good night.

SPEAKER_11 29:21

What do you want to do? Do you want to do just quick play or blood hunt or locomote?

SPEAKER_08 29:27

Brother? Oh, and we're gonna finish. We have to finish the whole token.

SPEAKER_06 29:33

Oh, by the way, Dusty.

SPEAKER_08 29:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 29:36

Uh stop letting your husband wear your pants to work.

SPEAKER_11 29:41

Why is this a thing?

SPEAKER_03 29:44

Because the other coworker makes fun of you while wearing sweatpants to work.

SPEAKER_08 29:50

Wait, hold on. You wear my sweatpants to work?

SPEAKER_03 29:53

No.

SPEAKER_05 29:54

They're my sweatpants.

SPEAKER_08 29:56

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 29:57

Not even wearing your sweatpants to work.

SPEAKER_08 30:00

Maybe you don't gotta get mad.

SPEAKER_11 30:07

I've seen Thor go crazy in this mode, Switch. He gets fucking lightning when he upgrades, he gets lightning that shoots out of his ass.

SPEAKER_03 30:17

You know?

SPEAKER_08 30:19

Wait, so hold on. Why do I need to make sure he doesn't wear my clothes to work?

SPEAKER_03 30:25

Why not wear your clothes to work? It's a joke because Dennis is making fun of my sweatpants, hugging my legs and ass too tight because I'm fat.

SPEAKER_05 30:36

I love that he had to explain it.

SPEAKER_13 30:38

If you must know, does like wearing dirty clothes? Because I mean, like, before I left it, like it looked like he was always wearing dirty clothes when he came to work.

SPEAKER_08 30:52

Dave?

SPEAKER_13 30:53

No, Dennis.

SPEAKER_08 30:54

Oh okay. Dennis is dumb.

SPEAKER_13 31:00

I mean, yeah, true, but still.

SPEAKER_05 31:03

You can do that being clean.

SPEAKER_03 31:09

You ready to ride the mountain down, Zeno? Sorry, what'd you say, Zeno? We're gonna do that. Oh, fuck Tyler.

SPEAKER_11 31:19

What happened to Tyler? I don't remember him coming. He came in once, if anything.

SPEAKER_03 31:24

It was twice.

SPEAKER_11 31:26

Was it twice?

SPEAKER_03 31:27

Um work with me.

SPEAKER_11 31:29

I'm gonna have to go fucking watch these episodes or listen to these episodes again because I don't remember this.

SPEAKER_01 31:33

Let's go re-listen.

SPEAKER_05 31:34

Because I think it was the second episode that we learned he was dating somebody half his age.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

What? What? How old was Tyler?

SPEAKER_03 31:43

Alright, Zeno, here is making it? Oh, I'm dead. I'm dead. No, I'm not. Oh my god, I made it all the way down. For the very least 20. Did you make it down? Yeah, I made it all the way down. I mean, unless you no, I did not get hurt at all.

FLDS Cults And Modern Prophets

SPEAKER_08 32:04

Unless he's like those FLDS members and just marrying young.

SPEAKER_05 32:09

Hey me. Sorry. What's an FLDS member?

SPEAKER_08 32:12

Fundamentalists of Latter-day Saints. It's basically like eight.

SPEAKER_05 32:17

Oh my god. I'm so hurt.

SPEAKER_08 32:19

Oh the extreme Mormons. You know like what happened at Waco, Texas?

SPEAKER_05 32:27

No.

SPEAKER_08 32:28

Back in like the 70s.

SPEAKER_05 32:29

No, when they killed all those people?

SPEAKER_03 32:31

Like it was like this.

SPEAKER_08 32:38

Multiple women and children. Like it was psychological warfare what was happening. The FBI did not handle that correctly. But anyways, when does the FBI handle anything correctly? They were the FLBS. I don't know.

SPEAKER_13 32:51

I think Kash Patel's doing a great job. Fuck up.

SPEAKER_08 32:56

Anyway, they're like the extremists of the Latter-day Saints and Joseph Smith and all of this. So like one thing that came out was Keep Sweet, Pray and Obey. It's a documentary on Netflix about Warren Jeffs and his dad. And like they married child brides, and Warren Jeffs eventually went to prison. And then he was telling people in prison, like, you're not allowed to sleep with your wives, you're not allowed to have babies. And then he went crazy talking to people. So the newest man to get this cult following going was Sam Bateman. And he has a documentary called Trust Me, I'm the Prophet. He basically basically told people that Warren Jeffs died in prison, even though he's quite literally alive. And his soul is now part of him. And he is the new prophet, to where he was like basically like got in trouble for sex trafficking. That's fucking crazy. And like these people are diehards. They're like, our prophet is still out there. Like they're the ones that like wear the crazy clothes and like do the crazy hair and like they're singing their songs together. Like it's just some crazy cult shit.

SPEAKER_05 34:08

They smoke now.

SPEAKER_08 34:10

Probably.

SPEAKER_05 34:13

That sounds like smoking behavior.

Mapping Scientology Buildings Online

SPEAKER_13 34:16

You you know what though? I mean, that's fucking crazy. I'd rather have, you know, the the the Russian cult that worships Ratchet, you know, from high spot showers, you know, and fucking keep eating what we can.

SPEAKER_08 34:28

I, my friend Kayla and I, we want to go to the Church of Scientology in Chicago and like I want to hear, we want to hear their spiel.

SPEAKER_11 34:35

Like, how do you look equal? Bro, the speaking of the Church of Scientology, have you seen like the TikTok trend where they're trying to map the inside of the fucking Scientology churches? So they're fucking raiding them with hundreds of people.

SPEAKER_05 34:48

Uh I guess they recently removed the handles off the exterior.

SPEAKER_11 34:51

The handles off the doors and they have police fucking outside because people are fucking doing a great map quest of it. That's fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_08 35:00

Well, because like as soon as they see people recording, they instantly run inside and like close their doors, and you're not allowed to record and they won't answer your questions. I just want to know like why so many celebrities are Scientologists, and like I want to hear the screen.

SPEAKER_13 35:13

Because they're fucking stupid.

SPEAKER_08 35:16

Try to hook me. I want to see if you can bring one.

SPEAKER_11 35:19

Have you ever seen the South Park episode about Scientology? I don't watch South Park. Okay, well, first off, they did an episode where they satired Scientology like they normally do, and they tried to fucking sue them and get it taken off the air. So they went, and and the episode they did was pretty crazy, right? So you they did they did another episode like the following week because South Park was like, we don't take shit from anybody, right? Yeah, and they and the next time they were like, by the way, we're not satiring anything, this is all real. And I was like, This is crazier than the last week's episode.

SPEAKER_09 35:51

You're telling me this is the real shit?

SPEAKER_11 35:54

They believe that like everybody was like sent from like another fucking planet by like like an alien glorax thing or some nonsense. Like it's fucking wild.

Handmaid’s Tale Meets Real Life

SPEAKER_08 36:04

So I don't know, you guys probably don't watch it, but the handmaid's tale just has a new like part of the universe come out. It's called the Testament, which is a few years into the future after like everything that happened in Handmaid's Tale. Well, Elizabeth Moss, who plays the main character and hint and handmaid's tale, is like fighting against Gilead, and like, you know, they're using these girls as like basically breeding farms and they're passing around from families, and they're called like if the man's name of the house is Joseph, they're called of Joseph or of Warren and crazy shit like this. Mind you, Elizabeth Moss is so deep into Scientology that she was at the level of Scientology that the women are not allowed to have babies, and they somehow made an exception for her. And now that the testaments is coming out, people are like, oh my god, she literally like that's what her religion is saying needs to be done, and and this and that. And I'm like, yeah, she's freaking crazy, but like she played a good role in the show. It's wild.

SPEAKER_12 37:07

It's crazy. Well, to be fair, the whole of you know father is nothing crazy.

SPEAKER_08 37:14

When when you're when when you're graping women, well, true, true.

SPEAKER_12 37:19

But I mean, that's that's all that has been a long-standing tradition until turning actually five. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 37:26

It's just it's wild. It goes back to like uh a later time, like women weren't allowed to read clocks, they're not allowed to read calendars, they're not allowed to read in general, they can do their like needle point, and so back and minding murky, break out the voice.

SPEAKER_11 37:43

Break out the voice, murky.

SPEAKER_08 37:45

I'm gonna go home and beat my wife. Well, no, the show isn't like set like a back and minding.

SPEAKER_03 37:51

They just fucking walk through the door. We're gonna have some real problems.

SPEAKER_08 37:56

Jesus real problems. They think this is the solution to like the declining baby rate.

SPEAKER_07 38:04

Oh.

SPEAKER_08 38:04

And then like America turns into Gilead, and it's it's wild. I if you haven't seen it, I do recommend watching it, but it's hard to watch.

SPEAKER_11 38:13

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 38:14

I don't really watch anything anymore nowadays.

SPEAKER_11 38:17

Switch, did you get the fucking the lobby screen?

SPEAKER_06 38:21

Not yet. Why?

SPEAKER_11 38:23

It like popped up text over top of four. Are you good?

SPEAKER_03 38:30

Yeah, I'm good.

SPEAKER_11 38:31

Okay. Just wanted to make sure you didn't like it.

SPEAKER_03 38:34

I'm gonna try going across for a sanctuary.

SPEAKER_11 38:37

Uh have to do any upgrades or anything. There's like a whole upgrading gear system. Did you know that?

SPEAKER_00 38:45

I'll see you soon. I'm gonna hop off.

SPEAKER_03 38:47

Well yeah, we're gonna leave him for another 10-15 minutes.

SPEAKER_08 38:52

Yeah, but I'm gonna hop off.

SPEAKER_03 38:54

Alright, I love you.

SPEAKER_08 38:56

Bye guys.

SPEAKER_11 38:57

Goodbye. Heal me, goddamn. Heal me, goddamn.

SPEAKER_03 39:01

Oh, this is where we fucking die from.

SPEAKER_06 39:06

I can't believe I spent hours building up the dinosuchus and then died to a T-Rex. For me to get these guys killed. No, we're just stupid, and we thought jumping a full-grown T-Rex was a good idea. We was in the water!

SPEAKER_03 39:20

Two larger adolescents, and I mean, I'm no help there whatsoever, but I mean, two adolescents, you know, have a chance in the water.

SPEAKER_14 39:33

But uh at the very least I saw, you know, John being dum-dum and fucking uh, you know, floating right in front of the T-Rex's mouth. That's a bad place.

SPEAKER_05 39:45

That's a bad place. I was trying to bite his face. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_13 39:50

When his face is bigger than your entire body. It was gonna work, okay?

SPEAKER_11 39:54

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_09 39:59

Where's that fucking chicken? It'd be like you trying to fight Brock Lesnar. I could do it.

SPEAKER_11 40:05

I don't think you can.

SPEAKER_05 40:07

We don't talk about Chris Benoit, we don't talk about Bruno.

SPEAKER_03 40:14

I'm gonna keep working towards fucking paradise.

SPEAKER_13 40:16

Oh, there's a dinosaur here. He's eating me. There's what? Brock Lesnar could probably kill you with butt cheeks. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 40:24

The raptor. Go kill him, go kill him.

SPEAKER_11 40:29

No, he got me! Ah, you dead, dumb fucking bitch!

SPEAKER_13 40:33

He was smaller than you. He's gonna get it. You couldn't fucking reach him. Ooh.

SPEAKER_03 40:41

He's better at the game than us. John, he's just better at the game.

SPEAKER_05 40:45

Are you dead? Is that a yes?

SPEAKER_11 40:53

No. I can't wait to see you once you get like the upgraded fucking lightning shit. Fuck, he got us both, dude.

SPEAKER_03 41:04

He's better than us. Well, I guess that's a good timing for me to go get food, but fucking fuck. Are you gonna you're leaving ADHD after dark? No. No, I'm saying I'm not gonna start another dinosaur right now.

SPEAKER_06 41:21

Oh, I'm good.

SPEAKER_03 41:23

Unless you I mean, do you want to be dinosaur again? No. No, you don't want to be alligator. No. Murky loves being fucking alligator. That's the try that triceratops now. Oh, I agree. You want to start it and give me a spawn cook.

SPEAKER_11 41:41

I can't wait for Zeno to pick fucking like not triceratops.

SPEAKER_06 41:44

He was gonna pick Allosaurus.

SPEAKER_11 41:48

All of a sudden we're Stegosaurus now. I thought about it. That'd be closer than a T that'd be closer than what he picked the last time.

SPEAKER_03 42:03

You are right.

SPEAKER_11 42:05

Fucking murky goes, I don't know how you got T-Rex out of fucking Triceratops.

SPEAKER_05 42:11

I heard what I wanted to hear, and that was T-Rex, and I went with it.

SPEAKER_03 42:17

If we didn't suck, we could have killed him and fucking Vincent Pretty.

SPEAKER_05 42:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:24

But we suck.

SPEAKER_07 42:29

Well we're no good at the game.

SPEAKER_11 42:31

You fucking suck wiener. Well, I think we've kind of had a successful episode here.

SPEAKER_05 42:48

I think you're a successful episode.

SPEAKER_11 42:50

You're successful. Hey, how you doing? How's fixing the PC going? Yeah, you're you're part of ADHD.

SPEAKER_10 43:01

I just never felt like there was a good time to pop in because it was a dinosaur survivor and uh I got no input on anything.

SPEAKER_11 43:09

You're right, neither do I. I just exist. I'm L champion. I'm better than all you bitches. Compion. Fucking one of the questions he asked me was, how do you fucking how do you fucking stay so fit? Uh like keep it in the game or something like that. I can't remember. And I was just like, I eat all of the food. I'm fat as fuck. And then he fucking he goes, You heard it here, folks. He keeps the calories coming in.

SPEAKER_03 43:42

In order for him to have all the energy he needs to fuck. Oh I'm just a little baby boy. We're just babies from. Well baby. Little baby. We're gonna get murdered by a fucking every other kind of dice.

SPEAKER_11 44:00

Or oh, we can eat pumpkins. Oh, your X button is like a heal button. I don't know if you knew that.

SPEAKER_03 44:05

Yeah, I knew. Are you at it? I can heal.

SPEAKER_11 44:10

Not you.

SPEAKER_03 44:14

Ooh, I see a Y over here, Sean. Follow me. Dude, look at my little baby dummy thick triceratops ass, bro.

SPEAKER_05 44:24

Like, it looks like true to form for you.

SPEAKER_03 44:26

I'm just fucking.

SPEAKER_09 44:31

I hear a chicken.

SPEAKER_05 44:32

I don't need that though. Yeah, we're herbivores now.

SPEAKER_03 44:39

Go eat it anyway. Okay. And I'm already in a we're already got a migration zone. So if we can hit a sanctuary, migrate.

SPEAKER_05 44:48

There's a sanctuary to the left. Perfect. That's where we're gonna be going.

SPEAKER_03 44:53

What is this? Y where is it?

SPEAKER_06 44:55

Why should you guys have to find the biggest um the biggest carnivore you can find and run it down on him?

SPEAKER_03 45:05

Is it in the tree? I don't fucking know.

SPEAKER_04 45:16

Sanctuary mushroom. Located. Sanctuary.

SPEAKER_05 45:23

I'm just gonna head to the sanctuary.

SPEAKER_11 45:25

I'm gonna head to you.

SPEAKER_05 45:27

Okay. When you gonna get here?

SPEAKER_11 45:30

Um in a couple weeks.

SPEAKER_05 45:33

Oh. Why is it gonna take you that long? I'm walking out. I can't see anything. Why are you walking?

SPEAKER_11 45:41

I don't know. Gas is expensive.

SPEAKER_05 45:43

That's true. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 45:46

I like how it's fucking the week the weekend before. Or like the day before you're you were gonna be like, hey, we'll pay for gas, and it fucking shoots up to five fucking dollars a gallon.

SPEAKER_06 45:57

Dude, I like how they just gave Wolverine the Captain America skin. That's pretty much all they did, right? That's literally all they did. He even does a jump up and like smash into the ground.

SPEAKER_11 46:17

Well, any closing you marks? I'm gonna end the recording here pretty soon.

SPEAKER_05 46:22

Um murky wears women's clothing.

SPEAKER_11 46:25

You know, that's gonna be the title of the episode.

SPEAKER_05 46:31

Specifically her underwear.

SPEAKER_11 46:33

Stop wearing your wife's undies to work.

SPEAKER_05 46:37

No, now it's underwear. Now that's how rumors work.

SPEAKER_11 46:43

Alright, that's how the episode's ending. All right, goodbye, everybody. Goodbye, bandwirs.