ADHD After Dark
ADHD After Dark is the unfiltered podcast where a group of hilarious dudes with ADHD gather to talk about anything and everything that comes to mind. Brace yourself for an explicit and comedic rollercoaster ride, as we dive into the depths of randomness, pushing the boundaries of humor and edginess.
In each episode, we unleash our unapologetic, off-the-cuff banter, sharing outrageous stories, wild adventures, and side-splitting anecdotes that will keep you laughing throughout the night. No topic is off-limits for us—whether it's outrageous personal experiences, taboo subjects, or exploring the more intimate and risqué aspects of life, we bring a refreshingly audacious and humorous perspective to it all.
ADHD After Dark is your escape from the mundane and predictable. Join our crew as we navigate the uncharted territories of comedic chaos, reveling in the freedom to explore the untamed corners of our minds. We embrace the spirit of After Dark, where the content can get explicit, sexual, and edgy—pushing boundaries and challenging social norms with a healthy dose of laughter.
While we may not always offer informative insights, we guarantee an uproarious time filled with absurdity, spontaneous conversations, and unabashed humor. It's a podcast that's not afraid to go where others won't, creating an inclusive space for individuals who enjoy unfiltered comedic escapades.
So, grab a drink, kick back, and immerse yourself in the unapologetically hilarious world of ADHD After Dark. Warning: explicit content ahead—tune in at your own risk, but be prepared to laugh your way through our zany adventures, spontaneous tangents, and unabashedly funny discussions that defy convention. Welcome to the wild, comedic chaos of ADHD After Dark.
ADHD After Dark
S4 E9: The Super Soaker
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When friendship meets microphones, anything can happen—and in this episode, it absolutely does. What begins as casual banter about cat medication mishaps (including a near-catastrophic jalapeño popper incident) quickly evolves into one of our most unpredictable conversations yet.
We're recording on a special occasion: the last podcast before Murky's wedding! Between celebration plans and competitive cornhole tournament tales (including one friend's impressive 30-beer championship victory complete with WWE-style gold belt), the pre-wedding excitement is palpable. The friendship dynamic shines through as we trade stories about childhood sports experiences, from embarrassing wrestling uniforms to football helmets that couldn't contain certain oversized heads.
The conversation takes an unexpected educational turn when we explore Mormon religious practices, particularly the concept of "soaking" and other theological loopholes. Our genuine shock at discovering certain Mormon beliefs about Native Americans leads to a fascinating (if occasionally irreverent) discussion about religion, beliefs, and the lengths people go to interpret rules. Even South Park's infamous Mormon episode gets fact-checked against reality.
As the episode winds down, we share updates on moving plans, upcoming gaming sessions, and our concerns about the future of the Destiny franchise under Sony's ownership. From suggesting bizarre game titles like "Super Soakers: The Mormon Sex Game" to debating the value of $40 expansions, our unfiltered conversation captures the essence of friendship: jumping between topics, laughing at ourselves, and turning even the most mundane subjects into memorable moments.
Want more chaotic conversations from friends with no filter? Subscribe now and join us for our special wedding follow-up episode!
Twitter - https://twitter.com/DarkAfterAdhd
Cat Tales and Vet Adventures
Speaker 1Zeno's got a nice chocolate log and he's eating it. That's how the episode starts, by the way.
Speaker 2Kate's about to get some of that.
Speaker 1Kate's about to fuck him. What is it? Twix ice cream.
Speaker 3Oh I love me a good Twix. Good job, kate. Tried to steal one of my jalapeno poppers.
Speaker 1He would have not liked that.
Speaker 3He like bit it, had it in his mouth, was taking it off my plate.
Speaker 1Did he put it back or did you grab it from him?
Speaker 3I grabbed him, grabbed it out of his mouth.
Speaker 1He was very close to figuring out what it feels like Not to eat jalapeno poppers. Yeah.
Speaker 3Take him into the vet. You probably would have took.
Speaker 1You had to take him into your vet and they'd have fucking actually put him down because of the fucking. They don't want him to feel when it comes out of his butthole.
Speaker 3Yeah, I remember like he was not prepared for this. Nothing in his little cat body is prepared for it.
Speaker 1Did you tell E about that? Was E here whenever that whole thing went down? I can't remember.
Speaker 3I texted him and Shannon about it.
Speaker 1About fucking Zeno's vet, looking at Cade and being like well, you should start thinking about you know quality of life. Yeah, he messaged me about that.
Speaker 2It's just fucking wild dude Zeno's like well, I heard from some people in the industry that you could also do this, oh, I never thought about that.
Speaker 3That's actually a really good idea.
Speaker 1Anyway, here's how much it'll cost.
Speaker 4Oh boy, a shit ton of money is pretty much the answer to that, because we give Monty the same medication and it's a shit ton.
Speaker 3Mm-hmm.
Speaker 4Ain't cheap and it ain't fun to give it to them.
Speaker 3I've been fortunate that Cade has not sniffed it out of his wet food lately. He knows it's there, but he's also like I'm really fucking hungry, so he tolerates that he's a fat cat. He likes the food.
Speaker 1He likes the food he does like food.
Speaker 2He knows what it's like to be in those streets when you're not eating every day.
Speaker 1What.
Speaker 2He knows what it's like to be in the streets where he wasn't eating every day.
Speaker 1Yeah, because that's where he came from, right the streets, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2Yeah, street cat.
Speaker 3You're a street cat. Why'd you say it? Like you were covering it up? Well, yeah, that's totally where it came from.
Speaker 2I mean, that's the truth.
Speaker 3I don't know. No, I know, but Coco, that's the way Coco said it. Yeah, he was like yeah, yeah, yeah, no, he came from the streets. You know totally didn't just steal him from PetSmart.
Speaker 1What was that, Marky?
Speaker 3Hmm.
Speaker 2Yeah, I love sucking cock, dude. It's my favorite thing in the world. It's the grand finale.
Speaker 1It is. It's so good, too that she screams the grand finale. How's it feel, marky, that you're almost married? This is the last podcast you're doing as an unmarried man.
Speaker 2We're getting there.
Speaker 1This would be the last one right, yeah, because we're not doing one next week.
Speaker 3Mm-mm.
Wedding Talk and Competitive Spirits
Speaker 2Definitely not. Yeah, how's it feel. I'm ready to fucking get her done.
Speaker 3That means you've missed your chance. Dilla Slayer of the Cable Guy, You've missed your chance.
Speaker 1What did you miss?
Speaker 3His chance on blocking Murky down.
Speaker 2You're the one who said you were going to kidnap and take me to Vegas. You did say that your word's not mine.
Speaker 3Why you put my business out there, man. You put my business on the streets. My plan yeah, ok. Ok, just calm down here.
Speaker 2That's for everybody. I love that Coco gets sound effects for me when I'm just like at my worst, crash in the fuck, it's all the. When I'm just like at my worst, just crashing the fuck out, bro, it's all the time. Super mad. Sometimes I just lose my cool. It's all the time, man, it's the fucking competitor inside of me dude, it's the only game.
Speaker 1Why mad?
Speaker 3You know, some of us are still competitive.
Speaker 2There's a reason some of us came home with fucking gold.
Speaker 1How many drinks did that cost you At?
Speaker 3least 16.
Speaker 130? How many cans? A full 30 rack of Bush White and how much time? How much time?
Speaker 2Throughout the whole day.
Speaker 1That's not a time.
Speaker 2Noon to six hours.
Speaker 1I feel like I would have just been so just full, I would have been feeling awful, maybe we wanted Cornhole to finish out.
Speaker 2We were still on fire.
Speaker 1How fucking much did you make the lake level rise?
Speaker 2Because of pee. I wasn't by it, I wasn't by a lake. He's got to think about it Because of pee. I didn't peeolig. He's got to think about it Because of pee. I didn't pee that much. Dusty was my DD.
Speaker 3How did you not?
Speaker 2A machine.
Speaker 3I don't believe you I peed quite a few times.
Speaker 2Yeah, you had to have, unless you were sweating a lot.
Speaker 1It was kind of warm out, I mean it was possible. It was kind of warm out. I mean five times, but how long were those five times Long? I only wet pee five times. Each time was five minutes.
Speaker 3Five times in six hours. That's like almost once an hour.
Speaker 2So I mean that's a bit of pee 45 seconds to one minute stream.
Speaker 3When he got to my house I was like, so how many beers did you drink? He's like, uh, only like 16. I was like only yeah. He's like actually I might have polished off a 30 rack. And I was like jesus christ man.
Speaker 2It was just community beers in the coolers afterwards because they were like the different. They were different branded cans.
Speaker 1Murphy was like yeah, Do you compare to?
Speaker 2everybody else who was rumbling, stumbling and bumbling, fucking falling in the yard and shit, good yard. Yeah, me and my brother were just we were talking shit. Just look at all these, look at all these fools about to lose. They can't even stand their own fucking two feet. Good fucking yard. I mean, I was kind of a little stumbly at the end, but I had enough in the tank to get the job done.
Speaker 3Right, right, right, right. Then he came over and we had s'mores.
Speaker 2For the listeners, I have a 15-pound giant gold WWE-style belt.
Speaker 3Oh they'll see the wedding photos of you only wearing the belt and nothing else on there.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, this thing is the truth.
Speaker 3Alright, you should have gotten like spinner belts, like Prime John Cena.
Speaker 1Ah Ah champion.
Speaker 4Now we need to see you and E out, drink each other.
Speaker 2I'll tell you, dude, it's not really something to brag about, but I drink with the best of them. Yeah, I've actually been drinking a lot less, so I was surprised at how well I actually did handle it. By the time I got Sean's, though, yeah, I was pretty jacked up, and I'm glad Dusty was DDing, that's for sure.
Speaker 1If not I would have been at Ubering home. I think it was funny. Whenever we did like the, everybody showed up at my place and you came out the next day and you were like, did you have any of that cap in last night?
Speaker 1And I was like no, and you were like oh fuck, you don't say, you don't say, you don't fucking say oh no, all right. Well, I pulled a clip from my stream that both murky and zeno were there for this conversation, but he was not. But I think he would appreciate this. So whenever you guys can let me know when, when you guys are listening and audio listeners, you'll hear this. So is everybody good, everybody good.
Speaker 1This is four minutes long you goody Yep, you guys can hear it. We're going to have to put Murky down. He's smoking too many cigarettes and won't stop Can you get me.
Speaker 3I would be like a reward for him. Roll him out in front of the railroad tracks, joke's on you.
Speaker 1Satan. You know what's really funny. Satan will fucking be like you know what. We're going to send you to heaven because your mom's down here. So fuck you, you won't be able to see her. Fuck you.
Speaker 3That would be a hell of a punishment.
Speaker 1I'm going to separate you from all of your friends. Yeah, hell of a punishment. I'm going to separate you from all of your friends. Yeah, yeah, your punishment is going up to live with the Mormons I lost it right in God's face.
Speaker 2Poor full Ted, you got what it takes.
Speaker 1Do you guys ever see the fucking South Park episode where they fucking everybody shows up in hell and everybody's like but we studied the right religion and then fucking the guy's like, alright, yeah, you guys probably all have some questions here. Number one question is what was the correct religion? The correct answer was the Mormons and everybody just goes ahhh, everybody in hell. This setup was required, by the way.
Speaker 3Oh no, nice picture of Murky Like in heaven with like a full Ted Mondra Like God sitting up there. So you think you got what it takes. And Murky's like. I tell you what I got your wife's pussy on my breath.
Speaker 1Really weird, the Mormons do that shit. Do you remember what this conversation is about now, Zeno.
Speaker 3Who does the smoking?
Speaker 4Who does the smoking? That's Mormons, mormons.
Speaker 3But they do that before they're married because it's like a loophole.
Speaker 1Now I see it on his face they're not actually doing the thrusting. No.
Speaker 3So technically they're not having premarital sex.
Speaker 1That's so fucking wild.
Speaker 3I do remember when I didn't know what that was.
Speaker 1Do you miss your?
Speaker 2life before that Every day.
Speaker 3I remember that and you asked me if I knew what it was, and I was like yeah.
Speaker 1I was like how does everybody know this is ever me. Let's make a Mormon porn game.
Speaker 4Like how's everybody knows is ever me make a more, no more.
Speaker 1Let me make a Mormon porn game.
Speaker 3We'll be a big hit. At least make a few buzz. We'll call it super soakers.
Speaker 1Nobody fucking steal that Stoic. I'm looking at you, man.
Speaker 3Super Soakers. I'm actually interested in this product now.
Speaker 1Oh shit.
Speaker 3It sells. It's going to be a great project for ADHD after dark.
Speaker 1Super Soakers, the Mormon sex game. They will be like alright, alright, okay, we came up with from the fucking studio that brought you-. Hang on wait, hang on wait. From wait, wait. I need the Satan voice From the studio that brought you Nipple's Cage we bring you Super Soakers.
Speaker 4I hope this is a good one.
Speaker 3Hang on, we could do like a universe crossover.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3Nipple-less Cage has to fight the Super Soakers at some point.
Speaker 1Oh, the Super Soaker's a bad guy in the Nipple-less Cage franchise now.
Speaker 3Hahaha, Nipple-less Cage. Are you up to the?
Speaker 1Nipples cage has to fucking. Resist the urges of premarital sex.
Speaker 4I'm just gonna pull this part of my stream for the fucking next episode of ADHD.
Speaker 1Call it a fucking day well, you look at that that's what we did. Enemy turn friend dong blade, so e you in uh sure nice. So the super soaker, like we need to flush this out. It was a random idea, but I feel like we didn't flush this out a little bit.
Speaker 2Like when someone says Mormon super villain, what image pops in your head is like what's this guy look like?
Speaker 1The funniest thing is the funniest thing is is I am Matt. You know you've put a face to the body that I had. I just had the image of a body that had the fucking Super Soaker 9000, like fucking squirt gun, with like the big, fucking bubbly barrel, and now you have added Tom Cruise's head to it.
Speaker 3Oh yeah.
Speaker 1That's what I believe the Super Soaker would be 100%, 100% has nothing to do with sex, but everybody knows why he's called the Super Soaker.
Speaker 3Why is he called the super soaker?
Speaker 1Because he's soaking his Mormon.
Speaker 3Or they're married.
Speaker 2It's a forebearers thing.
Speaker 1I'm pretty sure Mormons don't soak once they're married, do they? It'd be kind of weird at that point.
Speaker 3Either that, or they don't need to soak at that point. At that point it's a kink.
Speaker 1It's an exhibitionism at that point, because you need a third party.
Speaker 3Maybe they do, so we need to find somebody that's Mormon.
Speaker 1Do you have a Mormon friend? If not?
Speaker 3do you have a Mormon friend?
Speaker 4I'd rather drink bleach.
Speaker 3I feel like out of the three of us, or four of us, you might be the one that had a Mormon. Oh, absolutely the fuck not.
Speaker 4I have a beef with Mormons. What's?
Speaker 1your beef with the Mormons.
Speaker 3This is a new thing that I'm learning about.
Speaker 1What could they have done that the furries have not at this point, because that was very aggressive.
Speaker 4I'd rather hang out with a furry than I would a Mormon Share the details we gotta know. I would say they're absolutely fucking nuts to begin with, thinking that Native Americans are like fallen angels who have been burnt by hell and that's why their skin has a reddish hue. What?
Speaker 1That's an actual thing, that.
Speaker 4Mormon people believe they genuinely believe that I learned something new today. Wait, that's what that's.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's an actual thing that mormon people believe, like they genuinely believe they think that I learned something new today, they think that native americans are just burnt devils, which is basically yeah, and that's why, like we americans needed to like do what's it called manifest destiny fuck.
Speaker 4And the guy who founded the religion found these sacred tomes that only he could read, that were made out of gold, and he had to like, say it to somebody else, to basically write the Mormon Bible. The whole religion is fucking insane.
Speaker 3Well, most religion is fucking insane.
Speaker 1Didn't South Park do one of these? Yes, this makes the KKK sound good.
Speaker 3Whoa.
Speaker 2I don't know if I'd go that far.
Speaker 3Go, go that was a little racist. I was kidding.
Speaker 1So was the entire Mormon religion.
Speaker 3It wasn't. I mean, yeah, that's fucking wild. You know what? E I also have beef with the fucking Mormons.
Speaker 4Is it because you couldn't soak with a Mormon girl? Listen.
Speaker 3I told you not to bring that up.
Speaker 1Zeno doesn't have to do soaking if he wanted to do with the Mormon girl. They just sit down and it's so long that they come before they hit the bottom.
Speaker 2I wonder if they wanted to to just like give head like forever. So like hey, you want a 69 for like 45 minutes.
Speaker 1That sounds awful.
Speaker 3Yeah, can they do oral sex?
Speaker 2I think it's like as long as, like you're still like pure kind of or however they fucking work and as long as you don't do the hip motion, you're pure. I would imagine they can give head and they can take it in the butt.
Speaker 3Really.
Speaker 1Can.
Speaker 3So the butt holds the loopholes, is what you're saying.
Speaker 2I've heard a lot of people make songs about that. Hang on, Hang on wait.
Speaker 1Can Mormons have sex in the ass before marriage?
Speaker 3Oh.
Speaker 2I'm telling you, I mean, doug, check it, google that shit. I'm googling it right now.
Speaker 4I was trying to find this piece of art that's Mormon art.
Speaker 1There's an entire Wikipedia page about soaking of course there is there you go, behold Joseph Smith.
Speaker 4I'm sorry receiving a priesthood authority from John the Baptist.
Speaker 1I'm sorry, what the fuck.
Speaker 4Yeah, so this like they believe that Joseph Smith, the guy who created Mormonism, like saw John the.
Speaker 1Baptist. Also. What a shitty fucking generic ass name for the founder of a religion. It sounds like he just couldn't think of a nice name and somebody just said it's not. It's not John Smith, it's Joe Smith.
Speaker 4I don't know, man, it's still like one of the widest names I could possibly think of. If I remember correctly, I think they're the person who created the religion died in a shootout.
Speaker 1Jesus Christ Practices described in the following sources related to soaking include jump, humping, provo pushing and derfing.
Speaker 2If you just jump up and down at the same time, we're not really. There's no thrusting, or receiving.
Speaker 1Apparently, there's also a link to the Poophole loophole. Oh yeah when does that take me to? If I click there, I'm saying it's got an audio pronunciation on Wikipedia. Poophole loophole, poophole loophole, poop-hole loophole Does it?
Speaker 4Mormons believe that the US Constitution is the result of divine inspiration.
Speaker 1The US Constitution is the result of all the fucking dumb people in the world. There I said it. Also, there's the poop-hole loophole Wikipedia page. It's literally just a sound bite of some woman saying poop hole loophole, but apparently, apparently, vaginal intercourse is the term that they have to stay away from. Stay away from do Stay away from.
Speaker 3Yeah, so you can Do butt stuff all day, or I would assume oral as well are there any wikipedias um based around if murky and I would receive superpowers if I put it in his butt?
Speaker 4type in anal fuck superpowers all right, let's see here anal. There we go, superpowers all right this image.
Speaker 1No results found this image on the no no reddit. This image on the wikipedia page describing soaking is kind of incredible oh you see that on the left, don't do that on the right no in and out.
Speaker 2No, stay in there, bud, stay in there. Stay in there. What the?
Speaker 3fuck, that's the image. That's very true. Why does it look like a fucking Crayola crayon in there? What?
Speaker 1is that about? It's the brown crayon oh no tan, brown, whatever color you want to call it interesting oh god, the Mormons are always fun to make fun of.
Speaker 3Mormons, I don't understand it. What's going on there?
Speaker 2I didn't know like really any of this. All I thought about Mormons was that the guys are supposed to like just have multiple wives and shit. Yeah, I knew some of the shit's kind of off the wall and weird, but I did not really know much of this.
Speaker 3Yeah, I wasn't familiar with the.
Speaker 2I thought the South Park episode was just a joke on it. Well, apparently it had some validity Most things that South Parkk does is valid.
Speaker 1A lot of the stuff that they'd say is the truth, but just a little bit twisted.
Speaker 1I'm sure the first time I saw it it was a 13 or 14-year-old that entire episode about Scientology was great where they were like, yeah, so we actually toned it down, here's an actual episode about Scientology. And then it went off and I was like if you'd have shown this to me the first time, I wouldn't have believed that this is what this religion was. But I'm glad you did the tame episode first. And then we're like, yeah, they got mad at us, so we made it the actual thing. And then I was like this is even crazier than the first one and this is the real thing. Oh fucking Christ, dude. So E how's it been?
Speaker 4going. Yeah, I mean it's going.
Speaker 2It's going. How's the work, how's the goose situation?
Speaker 4The gooses haven't really been around as much Really.
Speaker 2Bringing seasons over. Like dipped out a little bit.
Speaker 4Gooses haven't really been around as much Really, haven't. Breeding season's over Dipped out a little bit, kind of just not been hanging around as much Like every once in a while you'll see them out near a park that's a few blocks away, but that's the worst of it, snow beatings had to occur.
Speaker 3Speaking of that park. Apparently there's a jazz fest happening oh, I saw the sign for it, yeah, and apparently they got a bunch of food truck vendors. So shop manager Nick and I were like man, maybe we should just get a big group together and then go down there and get that for lunch. Sounds pretty cool. I was like I'm going to be worthless the rest of the day after eating some fucking fair food, but it sounds pretty fucking good on a friday. What are you thinking you're gonna?
Speaker 2get like fair food wise. What would be your top choices?
Speaker 3I can fuck up some like, uh like steak tips, something like that, maybe a gyro, if they got that over there, you know um getting some kind of loaded fries. You know something um I don't know like I can go for like a shaved ribeye sandwich or something like that.
Speaker 2I know, man, I've seen you fucking eat those corn dogs. I fuck up a corn dog.
Speaker 3I've seen you fucking eat those corn dogs. I fuck up a corn dog. I've seen a TikTok where a guy made corn dogs and then split them but not like all the way through and then made chili and cheese and filled the corn dogs with chili and topped them with cheese and stuck them in the oven. I was like that's a sexy fucking corn dog right there, man.
Speaker 2I could fuck with that, like the fat kid in me right now is screaming for that Right. Like that's a fucking pie yourself. Instead of a walking like a fucking walking taco, it's a walking corn dog.
Speaker 3Dude, I could fuck up a walking taco right now too.
Speaker 2Walking tacos do fuck.
Speaker 1I've never had one.
Speaker 2Like at the base like the few years you played baseball as a kid, when everybody played baseball, and then you get a fucking hot dog or a walking taco?
Speaker 1Do you think Coco played baseball Back up a bit? Do you think I played baseball?
Speaker 3I think he went to a public school.
Speaker 2Was there a t-ball?
Speaker 1I didn't play baseball.
Speaker 2You missed out on hockey.
Speaker 1I didn't even do that until I was 25. You want to know the one thing that I did and you guys will fucking be blown away. I wrestled a season when I was in 8th grade.
Speaker 3I'm not surprised by that. Was it because you wanted to wear the leotard?
Speaker 1no, it's because my dad wanted me to it's because my dad wanted a real son.
Speaker 3It's because my dad wanted me to. It's because my dad wanted a real son.
Speaker 1It's because my dad wanted me to and I hated it.
Speaker 3And then you disappointed him and then he died.
Speaker 1I mean, the problem was I kicked ass. What'd you say, Zeno? Sorry, I missed it.
Speaker 3I said then you disappointed him and then he died.
Speaker 1No, I think he disappointed me and then died.
Speaker 2That's fair, too valid. My dad was so pissed so I told him I was quitting football for wrestling. Why? Cause, like he paid for me to play football every year since I was in like 4th grade, cause I wanted to play it cause my brother played it wrestling was really expensive.
Speaker 2That was like school sponsored the first 3 years of football, like you had to pay for. My brother played it. Wrestling was really expensive. That was like school sponsored the first three years of football, like you had to pay for. And then I was playing for the middle school, so all you had to pay for was like equipment, not like sign up fee and all that Sign up fees and shit. They had to order me a special helmet because the extra larges that they had didn't fit my head.
Speaker 2I swear, dude, I was so embarrassed Fourth grade. I go in there and I'm like, yeah, we're signed up. They remember my older brother. Because he's so large. They expected me to be a little bigger because they needed offensive linemen, because a bunch of the kids are like small fucking murky.
Speaker 1And then I showed up.
Speaker 2They're like well, where's the rest of them?
Speaker 1Yeah, they were like oh well, now we understand whose lunches he's been fucking eating, fucking murky showed up with fucking Jimmy Neutron's fucking body style, so I started like equipment pickup was like some number of weeks later Like equipment pickup was like some number of weeks later, yeah, and they tried to put a large on me and it wouldn't even like crest over my temples at all.
Speaker 2They're like, all right, well, we'll go in the back and grab an extra large. So they went in the back and grabbed an extra large. They didn't have them out there because no one ever needed an extra large football helmet in fourth grade, fourth through sixth grade. So they come out and they grab, fucking try to put the extra large on me and they like get it on. And I'm like this hurts so bad. They're like like, oh, is it really that bad? I'm like you have to get this thing off me right now, dude. And they try to get it off me and like struggled very hard to get this fucking helmet off my head and they're like there's no way. Like they tried, they tried to move it and it wouldn't move at all, like there's no movement on my head whatsoever. And trying to get it off was I thought my ears were going to fucking rip off.
Speaker 1Instead you went and wrestled and got cauliflower hair.
Speaker 2We're going to have to order you a special. I played football in like sophomore year. I quit before junior year. I played football in like sophomore year. I quit before junior year. I thought that was the one time I was going to beat my ass. He's like I love that I've paid for you to do this for so long and you just decided to quit on your own, like without talking to me. He's like we could have talked about it and like I probably would have been cool with it. But like you just coming up and saying I quit football and then tell me like you're going to wrestle a year round. It's like I'm cool with that, but I'm still kind of upset Cause I I like watching you play football. So it's like, oh well, now you just watch me wrestle the whole year. Yeah, and we'll do that.
Speaker 1I think he was just more upset that you didn't talk with him.
Speaker 2Yeah, upset that you didn't talk with him more than anything. Absolutely. I probably thought you had talent with football I was small, I was way too small.
Speaker 3Or he was like oh my god, my son's gay, he wants to wrestle other dudes.
Speaker 2Let's see how sweaty this motherfucker is. Weird ass shit going on.
Speaker 3He's like I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.
Speaker 2I know that kid wasn't wearing a cup, oh no that was all dick all dick no, there was like freshman year we had to wrestle the inner squad thing like find out who varsity was. Obviously it wasn't gonna be me. And uh, afterwards I wore long white socks and I think I had like black shoes. My dad's like you're never wearing those again. I was like why not? He's like you look like an idiot. I was like, fuck, he's like. You had a black shoes on and a black singlet and you wore long white socks.
Speaker 1I was like yeah, you dumbass, motherfucker, you fucking stupid.
Speaker 2He's like I gotta say not the best look.
Speaker 3And then he was relieved because you weren't gay, because you had no sense of style.
Speaker 1He was just like I just put all these clothes on Because I thought they go together. And he was like I just put all these clothes on because I thought they go together. And he was like no, I was like they're socks.
Speaker 2Why does it matter? He's like you know I love that. You think that way, but I gotta tell you no one's ever gonna love you if you keep doing that. Oh no, what's up? Baby, baby, hi, dusty. Oh no, what's up baby, Baby.
Speaker 1Hi, Dusty Skirt Skirt is leaving. How's the Shadowverse game going? Zeno, I can see you playing it. It's going alright, I can see it in your reflection Should have seen that Romula coming.
Speaker 2Oh, you can't soak with that motion.
Speaker 3Say what Zeno? There's no Romula. I could have seen that comingula coming. You can't soak with that motion. Say what Xeno? There's no Romula.
Speaker 1I could have seen that coming, xeno, I could have seen that Romula, coming from a mile away, there's no, Romula Bitch shut the fuck up. What are you talking about?
Speaker 3That was pretty funny.
Moving Plans and Pokemon Cards
Speaker 1For context, xeno was playing this new Shadowverse game and he was playing against a puppet. Uh, what was it? Puppet portal craft. Is that what it is? Yeah in in shadow verse and uh, he, just, I don't remember what you were looking for. Uh, some knight dude don't remember what it was albert albert and fucking.
Speaker 1the other player plays a Raumea card and fucking switch. He goes oh man, not that. And he goes. Yeah, I fucking saw that Raumea coming and Xeno was just about ready to be like, yeah, me too. And then he went. Wait a fucking minute, you have no idea, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about right now.
Speaker 3He kept it up all night. It was pretty funny. He's just like yeah, I should have seen that round me.
Speaker 1A comment man asked him yeah, what craft was that deck? And he was like I don't know. And then like fucking, like 10 minutes later he was like yeah it's portal craft, by the way I was like fuck you, you looked it up, I completely forgot that he was talking about that. I had to be reminded which one is that. Is that the little?
Speaker 3That's. King or is it little? That's little, I'm telling you.
Speaker 2He doesn't want to be stretched right now. Stretch on little Stretch on little the littles.
Speaker 1It's hard to tell on the camera.
Speaker 3He's looking a little chunky these days.
Speaker 2He do be chunky these days. Look at this noodle.
Speaker 1You just show me his fucking butthole and balls.
Speaker 3You gotta do what you gotta do. Sometimes, man, he don't make the rules, he just follows them.
Speaker 1Alright, what game are you playing? I see you playing something.
Speaker 4Dead Estate or something like that, I don't know.
Speaker 1What about that other game that was like oh, that Lil wanted us to play? What was that one called?
Speaker 4Oh, the one where you're like aliens in a gas station or something that one sounds pretty funny.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, I've seen TikToks of that. It's pretty funny.
Speaker 1The other one that would be funny is there was a game called Backseat Driver or whatever.
Speaker 3Yeah, that would be pretty funny.
Speaker 1Where you're a fucking grandma who can't see over the wheel and the person in the back has to direct you how to drive. I think that would also be fun to play.
Speaker 3That would be fun for ADHD After Dark to play it, I think.
Speaker 1Oh my god, so we could have one person be the driver and three other people yelling directions.
Speaker 3Yeah, get chaotic real fast.
Speaker 1I'm down, we can do that.
Speaker 3Let's do it.
Speaker 1Let's fucking do it. Not right now, but we'll do it. Yeah, next time let's do it let's fucking do it, not right now, but we'll do it. Yeah, next time, next if we remember. I'm gonna put a note down right now that I will remember to do in seven weeks I believe you was a fucking backseat driver, adhd after dark. There we go, I've got it marked down. We're gonna do it, woo, probably at some point.
Speaker 4Is it me?
Speaker 1or does Murky just have a giant green spot on his face? Oh nope, it went away.
Speaker 3I was gonna say I think it's just you bud.
Speaker 1I think it's just me. It looked like the aliens were coming to take you, Murky.
Speaker 2Like your whole face was lit up green. He fucking loves biting the shit out of me. Bite him back, I should.
Speaker 3Do it.
Speaker 2Get a mouthful of hair.
Speaker 3Yeah, that way he respects you.
Speaker 1Yeah, lick them. Oh fuck, they just played Aramia. God damn it. Are you fucking serious? I saw that coming, didn't I?
Speaker 3Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1Dude Zeno I saw that coming two minutes ago.
Speaker 3I'm gonna fucking fight all of you.
Speaker 2I love being able to talk shit to someone that wasn't me. You know what I?
Speaker 1mean Bro, no way they fucking actually did play Aramia. We're gonna have to go back to switch and be like I made the joke about a ramiya and then fucking two minutes later it showed up and did you lose? Played a fucking ramiya, not yet oh man, if you, if you lose because of that, that's gonna be really funny. I've never been rooting for you to lose harder than than just for the fucking content oh, oh, he's gonna make the megazord.
Speaker 3Oh, he's making a megazord, you're fucked that's gonna happen.
Speaker 1That's like where it's gonna come that's like portalcraft's thing to make the megazord right uh, it's one of two things what's the other one, the Ramia?
Speaker 3Um, a, uh, do a lot of puppets and stuff like that.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3Um no.
Speaker 1We have, like what 30 minutes to go. Anybody got any cool things to talk about? I'm out of ideas, even though it has been three weeks since we last recorded a podcast oh dude, fishing's been fire.
Speaker 2Yeah, now there's no room by freezer for any actual food?
Speaker 3no big deal. No big deal. Beat the ramiya, saw it coming, locked it down, got the win we should tell Switch to come in here.
Speaker 1I should have told Switch to come in here for the joke and be like see that, Ramia, and then he just leaves. And then two minutes later it showed up and you'd be like is this guy playing me?
Speaker 3He'd probably be like the Ramia's coming man See that coming from a mile away. What?
Speaker 1prompted you and Switch to play Helldivers today.
Speaker 2Which Steady was downloading it back. And again I was like fuck it.
Speaker 1He said I'm feeling democratic today.
Speaker 2That's all I need to hear.
Speaker 3That is the best song Makes your dick hard.
Speaker 2It does, Sometimes terminates. You just gotta die.
Speaker 1But now it's the Illuminate. They turned all of our soldiers in its off.
Speaker 3I'm gonna illumine your fucking ball, your single ball, uh huh, oh, this person just quit immediately they saw your fucking Ramia yeah, they saw that Ramia coming and they were like no, not fucking with that they were like you're playing swordcraft though, but how'd that Ramia get there? Uh, they were also playing Swordcraft, though, but how'd that Ramya get there? They were also playing Swordcraft. Maybe they were like nope, I ain't playing that fucking mirror match.
Speaker 1Fuck this shit.
Speaker 3Oh, that makes sense why they wouldn't want to play that I hate that Ramya, that Ramya though that Ramya.
Speaker 1Battle for Super Earth commemorative cape, as was released in the last uh uh patch of helldivers are you about to say you hate it?
Speaker 3yeah, I forgot, I forgot enough.
Speaker 1Brain jumped to a completely different topic and forgot that that other thought had even existed.
Speaker 3That's fair man.
Speaker 1You know how that is.
Speaker 3For sure.
Speaker 1What you got going on this week.
Speaker 4Nothing too exciting. I'm going to go see two kittens tomorrow because a friend got new kittens. Aww, you going to take one of them home. Gonna go see two kittens tomorrow because a friend got new kittens.
Speaker 3Aww, you gonna take one of them home. No Damn.
Speaker 1How are your cats doing?
Speaker 4They're doing okay when I visit them. They didn't like the fact that I gave them flea medication when I went to go visit them.
Speaker 1Naturally, Can't imagine that they would.
Speaker 4Yeah, so nothing too fun or exciting in my life.
Speaker 3I'll be honest Does your parents cat still hate you?
Speaker 4Yeah, she hates me with a fucking passion, for whatever reason.
Speaker 1So bizarre this guy fucking sucks.
Speaker 3She's just like this guy.
Speaker 1Fuck this guy Fuck this pussy ass bitch.
Speaker 4It was basically day one when I came back to michigan after my divorce. That cat was like fuck this dude, but he's like every fiber of my being smells like bitch in here now.
Speaker 1Was he there when you moved.
Speaker 4No, they got her when I was living in Texas, I think.
Speaker 1It would have been even funnier if she had known you and then just fucking hated you. When you came back I smell fucking bitch. Get those stinky ass shoes out my house.
Speaker 2My cats love my stinky ass shoes. That's wild, it is. It's a wild shit in the world.
Speaker 1Your stinky ass shoes are like almost a CDC fucking problem.
Speaker 2If it ain't raining, gotta put them outside.
Speaker 1I remember you took your shoe off in my car didn't you take your shoes off in my car? No, I took a shoe off in your car yeah, and threw it on my face, but like I knew that your shoe was off well before, it ended up in my face that's awful was Dusty in the car with us and she like screamed what are you trying to do?
Speaker 1kill us cause they took Berkey's shoes off, or something. Was Dusty in the car with us and she screamed what are you trying to do? Kill us Because they took Berkey's shoes off, or something.
Speaker 3That's pretty fantastic, stinky. Oh, e I have your fucking papers for the Church of the Latter Day.
Speaker 1Dude Hell yeah, so you're officially a dude-ist priest now I just got to meet up with you to give you your papers at some point.
Speaker 4Well, you're gonna be moving in the area at some point.
Speaker 1Don't know exactly when, because Gasto has to find a job.
Speaker 3Do be like that.
Speaker 1So we're gonna kind of stay here and slowly move things over there and, understandable, at some point, at some point I'll have everything gone, but I don't know how long that's gonna be. Hopefully not too long.
Speaker 2Hopefully, not too long are you gonna do the pods again or are you thinking we try to make like multiple trips with Do? You have a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1I do have a lot of stuff, probably just get a moving van and just pack everything into it, because for the big stuff that's pretty much what it's going to be. And then I'm thinking more or less, I'm going to be making weekend trips every so often up there. I probably just bring a bunch of shit whenever I come there over the weekends so that there's not as much shit to take the final day. Like, the goal is to, you know, like get as much stuff over as possible, like all of our board games. I'll probably just bring those over one weekend because I've already packed all them that stuff up in a way. Uh, pretty soon, murky, I'm gonna have to stop doing my pokemon redeems so that, like, I don't have to sort through my cards constantly because, uh, I just always have a pile of stuff that I still need to go through just in front of me and then a pile of stuff that I probably should put in a binder as well.
Speaker 2but we'll see, we'll see you want me to redeem as many Pokemon cards as I can, so you don't have to pack them. Is that what you're telling me?
Speaker 1don't do that, don't do that please don't do that. I'm gonna take them out of my fucking store, dude, or my point shop or whatever the fuck you call it yeah, good call.
Speaker 2I'll have to go back to sound alerts.
Speaker 1I guess you'll just die here for long periods of time yeah, that one's like on a four hour cool down, so it's like once in a stream that I won't be able to hear. He's like once in a stream that I won't be able to hear he's like I'll find a way.
Speaker 4I'll find a way, or you can just be like Zeno and just reject everything because you don't want to what.
Speaker 3I don't reject everything you rejected well, yeah, because you guys say wanted me to say some vile shit, kind of like that. You said that Because you guys wanted me to say some vile shit.
Speaker 4Oh yeah, I was going to suck his pee-pee, Kind of like that. I mean, you said that, you said that though.
Speaker 3Yeah, but it's like it got worse from there.
Speaker 4Or the worst was.
Speaker 1Yeah, what was the worst one that you were supposed to say?
Speaker 3I don't know.
Speaker 1You don't know.
Speaker 3Yeah, you wanted me to say some vile shit. For sure it wouldn't surprise me but I don't remember Wafu Mokai.
Speaker 2Wafu Mokai. That is me, as Iron Fist it is. That is the thing that I did Check out my voice acting page.
Speaker 3Yes, yes, man, my goose might be cooked over here, boys.
Speaker 2You getting fucked up again. Do what you getting fucked up again.
Speaker 3I'm getting fucked up. Yeah, just like that. Oh, do what? Get fucked up again. I'm getting fucked up Boom. Yeah, just like that.
Speaker 1I'm just going through the sound alerts and just seeing if there's anything new and stuff. What is this Brain rot cat? Okay, that makes sense.
Speaker 4That makes sense. Checks that, checks out, checks out. Baja hank, oh, did you guys see that, uh, bloomhouse now owns the saw franchise. Who do what? What bloomhouse? The people that made the movies like get out and five nights at freddy they now own the Saw franchise. Really, really, really. They bought it today. What are they going to do with that? What the fuck am I? I know probably milk it for all it's worth.
Speaker 1I mean fair, Do you?
Speaker 3see that marathon got delayed. We should sell Nicolas Cage guys.
Speaker 1You mean Nipolis Cage?
Speaker 3Nipolis Cage, yeah, but also Nicolas Cage. I think we should sell him, guys. You mean Nipolis Cage? Nipolis Cage, yeah, but also Nicholas Cage. I think we should sell him too.
Speaker 1We could do that.
Speaker 3I think we could convince him that we own him and he would let us sell him. Oh, okay, yeah, you're right. Maybe we shouldn't do that.
Speaker 1You're good, you're good.
Speaker 2In court. So you are human trafficking.
Speaker 1No, you just say we can convince him that we, that we own him and we can sell him yeah, that's pretty disrespectful to say on juneteenth huh yeah, yeah, yeah it is sometimes you say things before you think about them.
Speaker 3You know murky understands.
Speaker 1He does it all the time okay, andrew tate, anyways andrew tate jesus, this is how adhd after dark gets cancelled zeno is an alpha dude I made a kkk joke earlier, I see him do this fucking weird hand synergy thing all the time. I knew it.
Speaker 2He finally called it out, finally called it out, finally called you out Xeno, you're fucking, you're stuck now.
Speaker 1You're fucking stuck cancelled. Nobody go watch Xeno's stream ever again.
Speaker 4Well, seeing as he doesn't stream, I guess that's a fair thing to do.
Speaker 1He streams for me in private Sometimes. You don't know when you're streaming because I hack your webcam.
Speaker 3Oh no, that's how I know how long your penis is. You know that I whip my dick out all the time while sitting at my computer.
Speaker 1How do you think you leveled those pictures in your house.
Speaker 2You use your penis as a straight zito's a sick disgusting pervert man and he just goes into vr drive-thru fucking simulations with his dick out in irl and he just talks shit to the fake VR workers while he's doing it. It's the most fucked up weird pervert shit I've ever seen in my life I was there. I saw it.
Speaker 3Sounds like something you found on TikTok.
Speaker 2He's like I'll take a big and nasty. A big and nasty. That's not where I found it.
Speaker 3Wow.
Speaker 2Where'd you find it? It's right off the top of the head actually. It's from if anything, it was from minecraft. Stream last night from legends of adventure is not sponsored, uh mikey was really getting into it mikey was trying to protect all the llamas from the sick perverted llama molester guy and he made it very well known that he, the guy was a pervert the llama molester guy.
Speaker 2Yeah, wow that is what I said, at least we come up with names for our super villains and then his twin, richie, is just like mining fucking a thousand feet down into this fucking hole, this big ass staircase he's just made.
Speaker 1Sounds like Minecraft. Do you guys hole this big ass staircase? He's just made.
Speaker 2That does sound like.
Speaker 1Minecraft, Do you guys see? Marathon got delayed indefinitely.
Speaker 4Yeah, you said that like 10 minutes ago I saw one of you guys posted that.
Speaker 1Yeah, I was reading articles about it and they were like yeah. So after the closed alpha test, we realized that there's a lot more work that we need to do to bring a quality game to you guys oh really, what's it gonna take? Not stealing art from some guy on twitter I don't even think it was that what it's gonna fucking take. I don't even think it was just that. I think it was the fact that they, they're missing the mark with that.
Speaker 4It's a fucking bad game, because bungie doesn't know what the fuck they're doing anymore and Sony's like strangling them by the clitoris so hard that they can't move.
Speaker 1I mean to be fair.
Speaker 3I mean yeah, sony should Sony should.
Speaker 1Sony should actually probably step in and take creative direction at this point, because that was kind of their deal. That was kind of their deal with Bungie. They've been letting Bungie run. They've given Bungie a lot of leash. They've been letting Bungie run. They've given.
Speaker 1Bungie a lot of leash. They've given Bungie a lot of leash, a lot more than they should have, and I think Bungie needs to have that leash pulled at this point Because that's within Sony's right to do and they are not. I hope the next expansion of Destiny is good, otherwise it's probably the downfall you're never gonna see. Marathon release first off yeah, and it's never gonna happen and you might quite honestly see the death death of destiny if the next expansion is a absolute bomb like not a good bomb.
Speaker 3I don't foresee it being very great, unfortunately. Like I'm, I try to be a destiny optimist because I really like the game, but but you agree with me that, like the next expansion is absolutely terrible.
Speaker 1It's not looking good for the franchise yeah, I could, I suppose.
Speaker 3So I mean especially if they're like they're making two expansions a year. So I don't know if they've revealed a price point for the expansions yet, but like nobody's gonna want to spend 60 twice a year for half of a game welcome to fucking curse of osiris.
Speaker 1That's how that shit was was. I don't know if it was a full $60. How much did he charge for, like Curse of Osiris? And what was it? The Warmind shit when it first launched.
Speaker 3I remember I didn't play Curse when it came out.
Speaker 1Was that part of a bundle deal?
Speaker 3I had played up to what you call it Forsaken, and then I stopped playing until Beyond Light.
Speaker 1It was originally available for purchase for $19.99. And that came with Wait, hang on, nope, hang on, nope, hang on. Is this the soundtrack? I clicked a picture and it gave me the soundtrack. Nope, nope, nope, this is the actual game. So $19.99, so $20. Which they probably charged $30 for a campaign of that size today, just because of how the market has severely shifted in the last couple of years. Yeah, but they're going to try to get as much as they want out of it, so I'd say $40.
Speaker 3I could see that.
Speaker 1How much are they charging for the new one that's releasing here soon?
Speaker 3I don't know.
Speaker 1When does it release?
Speaker 3August something.
Speaker 1They haven't put pre-orders up for it.
Speaker 3I think they have. I just haven't.
Speaker 1What's it called I?
Speaker 3don't remember Right of the Nine or something like that Edge of Fate, that's right $40. Yeah, that sounds about right Look at that fucking autism analysis.
Speaker 1Fucking right on the money, yeah, so twice a year for $40. So I hope it's. I hope it's decent.
Speaker 3I'm gonna rely on you to tell me if it is we'll see. I'm not super optimistic about it, but I am gonna buy it. I'm gonna play it anyways.
Speaker 1I'm gonna play you.
Speaker 3Okay, I'm gonna rosin up my bow and fucking play your dick. Play my fiddle.
Speaker 1I'm gonna play you. Okay, I'm gonna rosin up my bow and fucking play your dick.
Speaker 3Play my fiddle.
Speaker 1I'm gonna play your dick. You get some fucking serious ass. Like brush. Like brush burns If you uh carpet burns. If you fucking took a bow to the dick that had a lot of rosin on it yeah.
Speaker 3I don't think I would enjoy that very much.
Speaker 1It'd grip that sucker and light it on fire like a twig.
Speaker 3Uh-huh, you're right about that. Well, I don't have anything else to do, your fucking.
Speaker 1Xeno's falling asleep over here.
Speaker 3I'm thinking about the Bosco sticks. I'm going to stick in the oven as soon as we stop this.
Speaker 1The what sticks.
Speaker 2Bosco sticks.
Speaker 1What are those French?
Speaker 4sticks with cheese on them.
Speaker 3Ah, thanks for the clarification. Fucking mint. They do be good they be smacking I'm going to smack you With my penis that's not very nice alright well fuck it.
Speaker 1I'm just gonna end this fucking episode now, cause I'm out of stuff to talk about man.
Speaker 2Well, penis smack and I'll send you on your way penis, little penis, and send you on your way.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3I'm gonna smack you on your way.
Speaker 1Yeah, I'm going to smash his penis. Okay, all right. Closing. You close the episode. I say goodbye.
Speaker 4Zeno's got an STD. Goodbye everybody.
