ADHD After Dark
ADHD After Dark is the unfiltered podcast where a group of hilarious dudes with ADHD gather to talk about anything and everything that comes to mind. Brace yourself for an explicit and comedic rollercoaster ride, as we dive into the depths of randomness, pushing the boundaries of humor and edginess.
In each episode, we unleash our unapologetic, off-the-cuff banter, sharing outrageous stories, wild adventures, and side-splitting anecdotes that will keep you laughing throughout the night. No topic is off-limits for us—whether it's outrageous personal experiences, taboo subjects, or exploring the more intimate and risqué aspects of life, we bring a refreshingly audacious and humorous perspective to it all.
ADHD After Dark is your escape from the mundane and predictable. Join our crew as we navigate the uncharted territories of comedic chaos, reveling in the freedom to explore the untamed corners of our minds. We embrace the spirit of After Dark, where the content can get explicit, sexual, and edgy—pushing boundaries and challenging social norms with a healthy dose of laughter.
While we may not always offer informative insights, we guarantee an uproarious time filled with absurdity, spontaneous conversations, and unabashed humor. It's a podcast that's not afraid to go where others won't, creating an inclusive space for individuals who enjoy unfiltered comedic escapades.
So, grab a drink, kick back, and immerse yourself in the unapologetically hilarious world of ADHD After Dark. Warning: explicit content ahead—tune in at your own risk, but be prepared to laugh your way through our zany adventures, spontaneous tangents, and unabashedly funny discussions that defy convention. Welcome to the wild, comedic chaos of ADHD After Dark.
ADHD After Dark
S3 E21: Disrespecting Farha's Ass
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
What happens when life throws a curveball and your wedding date gets moved up? Join us as we navigate through unexpected changes, like Murky’s hurried nuptials and the surprise return of a family member. We’re getting real about the absurdity of pay-to-win mechanics in gaming, with a spotlight on the costly boosts in Unite. We also welcome Farha, who shares his journey from streaming to DJing, sparked by burnout from the relentless world of GTRP.
Fast-food nostalgia is on the menu as we reminisce about the dearly departed McDonald's Snack Wrap and the legendary Meat Mountain from Arby’s. We poke fun at failed imitations from other chains and tackle the McRib's controversial allure. From secret menu challenges to culinary concoctions like the Chicken Big Mac, we’re savoring the quirky fast-food adventures that leave us with both cravings and chuckles.
Our conversations take a whimsical turn with tales of D&D antics, NSFW discussions, and bizarre world record attempts. Laugh along with us as Farha regales us with stories about furry conventions and iconic internet moments. We’re exploring healthcare awakenings with a humorous twist and contemplating the peculiarities of daily life. As we bid farewell for now, our blend of humor, camaraderie, and candid observations promises to leave you entertained, eagerly awaiting our return next year.
Twitter - https://twitter.com/DarkAfterAdhd
it's been a while. Everybody, there's a lot of things different. Murky's wedding date is changing. United healthcare ceo doesn't exist anymore. They're looking for a new one. Uh, but, but there's, there's still some things that are that are the same, you know, like my dad's dead um well, oh no, that actually changed.
Speaker 2It was in the most recent update. He was back temporarily, but then they patched it and he's dead again. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1God damn it. Well, that's unfortunate, oh well. Well, he's dead again.
Speaker 3New DLC.
Speaker 1I actually had to play the DLC that I played, the flashback of him dying. And then I got the achievement for your dad is dead.
Speaker 5Oh yeah, I was going to suck his pee pee. Okay, how many experience points was that achievement worth?
Speaker 1It was worth gamer points. It was worth one.
Speaker 2Oh, that's kind of depressing.
Speaker 1Actually I think it was worth negative one. That's kind of depressing, yeah, actually I think. Actually I think it was worth negative one.
Speaker 2I had to pay for it he's just trying to get that platinum trophy yeah, to win, pay to win.
Speaker 1Speaking of pay to win, I saw the unite has a pay to win sort of spray, that if you spray it on a hollow where it gives you more performance points and performance points and performance points help you not de-rank and rank.
Speaker 1And I was like this is stupid. And the thing is you can only spray it. It's 250 gems and you spray it, um, on a single hollowware, but like only it only works on one hollowware. So like if the character you sprayed it on gets taken, you don't get the boost, so you have to buy another one for any other character that you might use. And I was like this is fucking stupid. They could literally get $40 out of somebody for like 30 days.
Speaker 5Yeah, just wanted to not lose rank points.
Speaker 1Yes, yeah, I was like this is dumb, fucking stupid. Anyway, hi, murky, you know what else hasn't changed? Stupid.
Speaker 5Anyway, hi, marky, you know what else hasn't changed? That I won't be seeing my mom for Christmas.
Speaker 4Correct, Actually step on down.
Speaker 5We have somebody else for you.
Speaker 2I've got your mom right here, I don't remember. Hang on, that's the wrong one, I don't know. Hi, dusty, my mom said hey.
Speaker 1My mom said hey, my mom said hey, you just came in here for a role. We get heartburn, oh shit Anyway. How's it really been. It's been a while. This is technically going to be our season closer, even though we haven't released an episode is technically going to be our season closer, even though we haven't released an episode.
Speaker 5It's going to be our year closer.
Speaker 1I prefer more of a holiday special.
Speaker 5Yeah, okay, holiday special.
Speaker 1We'll be back, probably officially, sometime next year early next year Maybe, who knows? I mean it's going to be really busy because Murky's getting married now because his date's moved up and I'm getting married, and there's not going to be really busy because murky's getting married now because his dates moved up and I'm getting married, and it there's not gonna be a lot of time for adhd after dark for all of the sex festivities that are happening did we ever talk about your autism diagnosis in the last season no, because I didn't get diagnosed until we stopped recording yeah so yeah, I got, I got, I got diagnosed with autism.
Speaker 1Hi now. I'm your resident autistic ADHD expert, also Farha's here and first off that's called the penis far hot.
Speaker 2Oh it's called penis. Hi everybody, I'm glad to be here. I want to say a shout out to the, the only real one in here. He knows who he is.
Speaker 3Batman no Zeno, Zeno Zeno's probably playing Zeno?
Speaker 1are you playing Destiny right now? I'm no, I'm not right now I'm.
Speaker 2No, I'm not. Oh, you're playing silent hill, yeah I'm playing silent hill.
Speaker 4Yeah, silent hill's a good game.
Speaker 2Silent hill this is how it looks when xeno's playing a game while you guys are doing a podcast. Oh no, he is fucking zoned in.
Speaker 5Yeah, he looks super zoned in it's a lot better than me, though, at least, like he still kind of talks here and there. When I play video games and we try to do this, you get nothing.
Speaker 4I don't know, you're not playing video games. You don't hear me mention like I think fuck fuck, wasn't there one time you were playing.
Speaker 5All I've been playing is PvP and Destiny lately, other than like that or fishing because it's just relaxing yeah and somehow he can't fucking do fishing without getting distracted too. You hear him go fuck, fuck yeah, all of a know I'm fighting one fish, then the other. You know my good rod just starts ripping drag. I'm like, oh, it's good, I gotta get it. I'm chris brad about your kitchen fish brad.
Speaker 1So uh, farha, I see you, jeremy, wade jeremy wade, I'm a jeff wiggles jeff wiggles the ultimate um so far has's a DJ. Now I noticed he has a. Dj he traded his stream equipment out for DJ equipment. What?
Speaker 2happened was I got rid of GTRP because I got banned for now we have to back up, would you get? Banned. We're going to need that story first.
Speaker 5I feel like you did now. You don't want to say it on the podcast.
Speaker 2No what.
Speaker 5I was going to say is I got banned for ERP?
Speaker 3You got banned for ERP? No, I didn't.
Speaker 4I'm just kidding, I'm kidding.
Speaker 2No, what happened was I got burned out man, I was a cop and I was literally spending eight hours a day being a police officer in a server, and I just hit a point where I was just like what am I doing?
Speaker 1when I was so addicted job.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, like I was so addicted that we're having family events and like I would miss it because I had a training, because I was like a one of the field training officers, so like I would have a training, I'd be like I can't make it. I'm like what am I doing? This, this gta server, has become my real life and I was like ignoring people. Yeah, I had to back up good on you.
Speaker 5Now a dj. You know, that's my new hobby.
Speaker 2Hell yeah, dude good on you, damn man. It's fun, yeah, but I've been taking a lot of courses. I bought, bought a controller, a stand. I bought a laptop for Christmas. My goal is my niece's graduation party is in June, so I want to surprise her and actually be the DJ for my niece.
Speaker 4Nice, that would be dope as hell.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, so that's where my attention has been focused. Good on you, dude.
Speaker 4Yeah well, that's super wholesome. We don't get that on this podcast.
Speaker 1You gotta make adult decisions like that I don't have to shit on this without being an asshole you don't this episode's about growth this episode is about growth. Fuck you, we don't do any of that here we need to feel good.
Speaker 2Farha's the feel good in this right now yeah, I'm the balance, cause there's too much dead parents around here.
Speaker 1It's really bringing it down so I'm trying to bring it back in the world today or the other day the other day about eminem's mom.
Speaker 5Wait, no, but yeah, yeah eminem's mom died oh, she finally cleaned out her closet for the last time.
Speaker 2Yeah, oh, she won't be walking eight miles anymore.
Speaker 4I'm not the one who I wasn't talking about that.
Speaker 1I was talking about the United Healthcare CEO.
Speaker 3Have you seen?
Speaker 1any of the comments on videos for that.
Speaker 4They're disturbingly hilarious.
Speaker 1They make you question everything, but also then question yourself that you find it funny. I don't know if Farha has heard of any of them, so yeah, one time.
Speaker 5It's like you know, someone did die. Someone did die. Were you talking about the?
Speaker 1guy who literally got hit yesterday. Yes, he got shot in the back.
Speaker 2Yes, yeah, yeah. And then he ran away wearing all black with a gray backpack or something. Well, yeah, the guy that got shot didn't run away.
Speaker 4He died. No, I know he's been seen right now what's?
Speaker 4ironic about that is the night before I was trying to use Teladoc to talk to a doctor about a cough that I've had for like a month. It literally took 50 minutes on the phone with this lady for them to finally figure it out, and it was equated to my member ID being wrong or something, or like they need to reissue me a member number or some kind of bullshit. The lady I talked to was very nice and very helpful, but I was super frustrated with it, told my boss about it and then later in the day fun fact our insurance is through that company.
Speaker 4And he was like hey man just saw on the news that somebody was, you know, the CEO, was shot and killed. You want to happen to know anything about that and I was like I plead the fifth. I don't know no idea what you're talking about, man.
Speaker 1To put it in perspective of how bad. To put it in perspective of how bad, how bad it is. Somebody, somebody got a balloon that said CEO dad, I saw that. And it had a smiling star on it, a bunch of party streamers and shit like that and they put it at the site where he fucking died. The other fucked up part is the shareholder stepped over his dead body to continue with their meeting.
Speaker 2I also heard about that. I was telling Shannon about that and she was like that is the most deplorable thing I've heard yeah, people are feeling absolutely no remorse for that man yeah. No, I don't, I feel no remorse what was wrong with him?
Speaker 1he's the CEO of a health insurance company who denies 30% of their clients.
Speaker 5Has the highest rate of claim denial in the industry by far. It's not even within half a percent.
Speaker 1Apparently. I read that there was a child going through. This was a doctor trying to convince the health insurance that a child going through chemotherapy needs nausea medication. And the insurance company was like hey, he's only going through chemo, he shouldn't be nauseous, so claim denied. And I'm like what?
Speaker 2do they not understand what chemo is?
Speaker 1no, they just they, they do, they just don't want to pay.
Speaker 2I read that this is literally like a John Q situation.
Speaker 5Oh, this is a company that in 2023, made like what?
Speaker 122 to 23 billion dollars in profits Pretty soon, like fucking 6 million of that's going to go to security Billion, b Billion dollars, 22, 23 of them. What was really funny is there's now TikToks out there saying like oh, you can't solve anything with violence, we can't support this and stuff like that. And it cuts to like there's this guy that was making fun of the news article. That also happened with Anthem because they have decided that they're going to stop paying for surgery and anesthesia after a certain time limit yeah yeah, yeah, I didn't hear that.
Speaker 1Oh well, yeah, they, they reversed it. Let me get to the yeah immediately the funny part. They were like um, so the tiktok goes. So you can't, you can't, you can't. We can't justify this. Violence is is never the solution. This isn't going to end well. We can't support this. And then it cuts to the dude looking up with the news article above his head like this and my head's pointed up and my mouth is just wide open for audio listeners and he's just like and it says shut the fuck up, we might upload this to family.
Fast Food Memories and Banter
Speaker 1You guys don't have fans anymore. Back he, I still have it. We got an. We got an invite to something. At one point I didn't want to accept it. Um no, but he, uh, he, he, uh. He had the article of anth. Uh, blue cross, blue Shield reverses their policies for anesthesia use in wake of United CEO's murder. And then I saw another funny TikTok not too long before this meeting. Where it was, it wasn't even like the United CEO, it was like the McDonald's CEO. It was like the McDonald's CEO after we see the news and he goes with the snack wrap. He's like sir, is there something wrong? It was like the McDonald's CEO after we see the news and he goes With the snack wrap. Yeah, he's like Sir, is there something wrong? And the fucking TikTok just goes. We need to bring back the snack wrap.
Speaker 1I don't care how bring it back, and that's the whole TikTok you want to save yourself, sir, might be the only way I was dying.
Speaker 5I'd fuck with the snack wrap.
Speaker 4I love the only way I was dying. I'd fuck with the snack wrap. I'd love the snack wrap.
Speaker 2I'd absolutely fuck with the snack wrap, fuck with I'd smack my mom's dad on the ground to fucking yeah there's like the.
Speaker 4Big.
Speaker 2Macs.
Speaker 5There's a Big Mac snack wrap.
Speaker 2There's a ranch. One wasn't there.
Speaker 5There's a chicken bacon ranch, I think yeah that's what it was.
Speaker 4They have like a spicy Thai one.
Speaker 5I feel like there's one more, like that was like this. I feel like there's three.
Speaker 1Hmm.
Speaker 4Yeah, I think you're right.
Speaker 1I want a snack wrap now. Dude the best.
Speaker 5They were the best. I would kill a CEO. I tried Burger King. I would kill a CEO for a snack wrap right about now. Yeah, because Burger King has their version of the snack wraps right now. I can tell you, I tried them and their ass. Yeah, it's not the same. What's Burger?
Speaker 4King first off the ass. Somebody else came out with a snack wrap recently. You know other than they have.
Speaker 5I think it was Arby's 258 pieces at Burger King for chicken nugs. That's not bad, not a bad deal.
Speaker 4Five hours. No, Arby's had the good burger, the good burger. Arby's had the good burger. What I did see that.
Speaker 5Yeah, from all that or did it come with an orange fanta?
Speaker 2I don't know, but it should have the better of or just orange soda. Kelly loves orange soda dude yeah, I guess it was because good burger had a sequel, like that's how I learned about it was arby's was doing the good burger. Yeah, but I guess they weren't that good. Neither was the movie right.
Speaker 5Oh damn shame they also have the meat mountain oh my god, yeah, my, one of my on the secret menu.
Speaker 1Yeah, I tried it. Menu one of my.
Speaker 2Yeah, one of my zeno's nickname in college, one of my one time when I was still in pittsburgh.
Speaker 1Um, he was like I heard that there's this thing called the meat mountain. I'm like what the fuck he's like? Yeah, it's just literally. You know how they have all the meat. It's all the meat. He got this thing and every single piece of meat that you could get at Arby's was on this fucking sandwich. It was this fucking.
Speaker 5It was this fucking meat, all the roast, beef all the fuck.
Speaker 1The chicken tenders roast beef, you name it Any meat product on their menu. There was at least one of it. On this thing we ever done.
Speaker 4the air challenge, the what McDonald's Lancy? Air challenge no.
Speaker 5I have no idea what that is.
Speaker 4It's a McDouble, a McChicken and a Filet-O-Fish.
Speaker 5And you just stack it and you eat it. Basically a McGangbang, but with an extra Filet-O-Fish.
Speaker 1A McGangbang. I call it the Landier, I don't know. I don't really like fish and I feel like McDonald's fish is kind of questionable.
Speaker 4It was not good. It's not like it even blended at all. More, you just tasted each individual thing thing and you were more and more disappointed as you went through the sandwich.
Speaker 1Somehow the Arby's one was pretty good. From what I heard, dude, the meat mountain fucks Okay, but it's also probably because they're all seasoned similarly and they probably blend pretty well.
Speaker 4It's all the same meat.
Speaker 2Do y'all like the McRib? I'm not a fan of it. I fucking won't lie, dude. I love right. You all like to make rib. I'm not. I'm fucking gonna lie, dude. I love the mcrib bro.
Speaker 4Yeah, it's not bad. I can have it like once or twice. Yeah, it's like, it's okay, like it reminds me of the banquet tv dinners.
Speaker 5That's a once a year deal. I see it and I get it once and I I eat it and then I feel guilty afterwards. I'm just like I bet that's the most disgusting meat that's ever been in a sandwich. I don't remember why you didn't eat it in the first place, but I don't give a fuck right now.
Speaker 4It's a good thing that it's a seasonal thing, because I only need one a year, yeah.
Speaker 5Bit of that. I skip years. I skip years sometimes. I don't think I've ever had one Because I look at the picture and I just see, like I'm like I bet if that barbecue sauce wasn't there nothing about the advertising is the barbecue sauce is carrying all the weight hmm, I don't want fucking, I want food now has anyone tried the chicken Big Mac yet?
Speaker 2uh Zeno has yeah, I tried it too.
Speaker 5I tried it it's not bad it's just two McChicken patties covered in fucking McChicken.
Speaker 1I don't think it's okay, it's just two mcchicken patties covered in fucking max off.
Speaker 4Yeah, it's same thing, but chicken is really yeah right, I don't think it's the same chicken used on the mcchicken. It's a different freddy chicken. It's a little bit better quality.
Speaker 2But still not a little bit better quality yeah so uh, should I introduce?
Speaker 1are we gonna play a food and area game?
Speaker 2I mean, that's what I'm here for, do you want? To well, murky didn't purchase I thought that's what we were doing, isn't that the season you guys do food and area game?
Speaker 1no, no, you're not getting the memo I think you're misquoting or misunderstanding just post those porn games in there to show what's on steam, not for us to play yeah, oh, I'm leaving then.
Speaker 2That's just what's on.
Speaker 1Hang on, hang on, I got at least I got at least a couple of sound alerts.
Speaker 5I need to, I need to share, share with the group about, uh, about the new sound sound things that we have right yeah, hang on, wait, this one's my ai, when it, when it broke on stream, I don't know, I don't know,
Speaker 2why it broke like that um yeah where's the other one?
Speaker 1uh, I don't want to play the last one yet, hang on. Where's the one where murky goes?
Speaker 5uh, not, not the, not the uh, I'm gonna go pull a coke no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1Not that one, not that one.
Speaker 5This is due to oh, you're dicking my ass.
Speaker 1Yeah, that one. So we got a new one for Murky. Oh, you're dicking my ass.
Speaker 5There's a couple for me, I'm sure.
Speaker 1We got another one for Matman Spooky, spooky devil, yes, so we've got that one.
Speaker 5It was the best. But then my new favorite one is when did you turn black, by the way? There's a something cat man who went down a chimney, and he was not black before he went into the chimney. And I have an intelligence of six. Yeah, not my fault what do you mean?
Speaker 1it's not your fault, it's not his fault.
Speaker 5Old Louie didn't understand man old Louie.
Speaker 4To be fair, he really didn't y'all have so much unfinished business.
Speaker 2You guys never finished the Lightning McQueen story yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1I forgot what happened. I want to know what happened. Who's in my trunk right now?
Speaker 2Murky's character yeah.
Speaker 1Do we want to like? I don't remember what we were doing.
Speaker 2I don't remember that thing was being driven by AI.
Speaker 4I think we just fought it was a log.
Speaker 2Yeah, you did, and then you all were hopping in the trunk and then someone was in the trunk and got out, but then somebody put the power back in.
Speaker 1Somebody smacked my ass so hard that we had to go back in time.
Speaker 4Yeah, Murky spanked your ass so hard that he broke your bumper, or like caved in the rear end and killed you, I think.
Speaker 5Rolled a natural 20 on smacking your ass. Wasn't it the last time we played, just destroyed you? Wasn't it the last?
Speaker 1time we played, the last time we did ADHD, wasn't that when E did his the question game or whatever?
Random Chatter and D&D Antics
Speaker 2Yeah, that was it. Probably, I don't know it was. I'm the biggest fan, I know all the episodes, that was the last one.
Speaker 5Dude Murky's such a big fan of the podcast I don't remember oh wow, this is the first time that you haven't remembered something. Yeah, I think you guys just made fun of me so much that it got into my brain and I just stopped listening to see how I could be better at things. So I was just like fuck it. And here we are.
Speaker 2I caught homeless people smoking weed yesterday after I ran into uh sean at the grocery store oh did you yeah so did you see the homeless guy pushing a cart that was yelling to himself earlier today? Yes, yes, I did because, I was outside was that outside of work or yes oh, hell yeah, dude all right.
Speaker 2So, uh, update for our listeners I am now working with zeno at his place and, uh, yesterday during lunch both zeno and I happened to go to the grocery store that's right down the road to hit up the deli section. I leave through the deli section of the grocery store and something just kind of caught my eye. You know how you just feel like a weird energy, so you kind of just look in that direction sometimes like something's looking at you. Yeah, and hiding behind I shouldn't even say behind, they were more beside it the red box dispenser machine rental thing were two homeless people trying to light up a joint, and it was a man and a woman, and the man's like staring me in the eyes like oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. The only thing I did was I just walked away.
Speaker 4I was not dealing with it. Good call, good call.
Speaker 2And then today, yeah, I'm taking out some trash to throw away in our dumpsters and I just hear screaming. I look over and it's just this dude pushing a shopping car full of something. I have no idea what was in there and he's just loudly talking to himself, to the point he's screaming.
Speaker 4Yeah, he's like laughing and all kinds of shit. It was pretty wild, yeah, yeah that was a lot myrtle beach.
Speaker 2Around the ocean boulevard there's always people yelling, talking to themselves and trying to kick cars when they're driving by. Just it's so crazy. Kind of feel bad for him. I do too, yeah, but then you probably realize they took all their money, their their parents money and bought meth so that you don't really right, yeah, so maybe they deserve that like there's some people that I'm pretty sure just fell on hard times because the world just kicked them in the balls and there was nothing they could do.
Speaker 2But then there are other people that's like you kind of hear their story. It's like, oh so you're here because you got really addicted to drugs do you be like that sometimes? Yep, and honestly, that's how we got coco yeah exactly.
Speaker 1Look at him I have drugs look at him now everybody thought I did cocaine, and now everybody.
Speaker 4That is true we now everybody I say we but I came in after the facts when everybody thought you did cocaine I asked coco the other day if I was allowed to bring up that story during my best man speech and he said yes, yeah nice, we'll see why not.
Speaker 2I don't see, why not, yeah, why not?
Speaker 1No, it's perfect yeah.
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 2So before we became officially friends, I thought this motherfucker was snorting coke in his bathroom.
Speaker 1Farha's going to have to explain what Coke is to. Kk if she's there, coca-cola.
Speaker 2That's where you work at. Eh, that's Diet.
Speaker 3Coke, god damn it.
Speaker 1Why would he put that in his nose?
Speaker 2Don't eat his nose, coco's so silly.
Speaker 5He's trying to drink it and it went in his nose, honey, that's all why is it coco and e-wear?
Speaker 1what does this sound?
Speaker 2alert sound like, oh man, don't do that again.
Speaker 4Funny enough that's coming was that what the homeless exact?
Speaker 2sound when Zito's coming.
Speaker 1Was that what the homeless guy sounded like? No, not really.
Speaker 4Hey, it was just like talking to himself.
Speaker 2Yeah, he was just very loudly talking to himself Can.
Speaker 5I make. What Can you make the sound of Yoshi when he's coming?
Speaker 1I don't know that I could do that right now.
Speaker 4It's like All right, let's see How's that go, Mickey?
Speaker 3How would I do?
Speaker 1How would Yoshi sound when he's coming?
Speaker 2Well, when he's eating pussy, it's like Into the mind of Yoshi. You're giving back shots to Birdo.
Speaker 4You're giving back shots to Birdo. There we go.
Speaker 1That's pretty good.
Speaker 2I mean, I wouldn't know, but I assume that's pretty good.
Speaker 1Murky just about spit out whatever he was fucking eating.
Speaker 2You really got into character. Your face was going. That's the only way I can do you.
Speaker 1I have to basically take my entire voice box and fucking face and make it like half the size, and then I have to falsetto, and then I have to falsetto on top of doing that to get it to actually work. For those of you who know what a falsetto is the upper most range of your voice. It's whenever your voice cracks and goes high.
Speaker 4Oh, we learned something new today.
Speaker 1Like that.
Speaker 4Like whenever you get up there.
Speaker 1But like, the more pressure you put on it, the louder it goes.
Speaker 4But after a while it's not like this the more pressure I put on you, the louder you go.
Speaker 1I'm going to stick my dick in a little bump. Oh, that was.
Speaker 5That was the sound of my dick inflating I feel like that sounds more like stitch, as like he's walking you down what me, my, my, my, yoshi voice when I'm not doing Yoshi?
Speaker 1Yeah, cause I literally derived it from from stitch Right and if you, if you, if you do it, if I talk, normally it sounds more like a stitch voice, right, um.
Speaker 1But if I do the Yoshi and like on top of it it's the same voice. It's just how much pressure I put into it. And then when you're doing smiegel or golem, you're just like it's like the same thing in the back of your throat. It's just different pitch and tone and stuff like that. So it's like literally the same voice. If you can do one of them, you can do all three of those, although your voice will hate you for it, you know makes sense.
Speaker 5I feel like that's why I reverted to the southern accent in the dnd campaign, because I was trying to go like low gruff uh, you know fat orc voice and I didn.
Speaker 2yes, when are y'all at in it, Like how far?
Speaker 1Spooky, spooky, devil. Yes.
Speaker 2That's really up to Matt man, yeah.
Speaker 3They're still a little bit past the prologue. They're still in what I would call like the first chapter of this, because we're stupid.
Speaker 1Scott showed up and touched us.
Speaker 3They have information, they have goals. They have goals, but they have to decide which way to go. Very shortly, big things are about to happen in the small town of Falaki, and that's all I'm going to say about that.
Speaker 1Yeah, in other words, we're all fucked because we can't make any decisions.
Speaker 2We make decisions, we just make the wrong ones. Yeah, just make the wrong ones we're like this sounds fun.
Speaker 1Send me down a fucking chimney to go do something and then everybody walks away after I succeeded doing everything.
Speaker 5The guards scared me, and then you know what happened. When did you turn back? Father Lucian was like don't tell anybody, I'm like, alright, I bet that's what I thought.
Speaker 2What happened because you opened the door and we left was Strahd showed up.
Speaker 1Well, yeah, that was the consequences of our actions. Yeah, we should have finished that. We should have just did it. I didn't know what the fuck we were doing.
Speaker 5Well, I was in there. We should have just did it. I didn't know what the fuck we were doing.
Speaker 1Well, I was in there. I've never done this. This is my first campaign ever. I was in the building. You fucking leave your friend.
Speaker 5I just walked across the street to buy meats for everyone.
Speaker 1And then everybody dragged me away. I'm going to fucking give you meat.
Speaker 2Well, coco, here's the thing. Now you basically have to be the ace in our next session, because you know what's not gonna happen?
Speaker 1because fucking 17 goddamn 20s were rolled in the last session. I ain't gonna be doing shit. It's gonna be like it's gonna be like that goddamn fucking meme where everybody in the previous session is like I played my part, I played my part. I played my part. It gets to me it's. I didn't do fucking shit.
Speaker 2I tried to sneak through a hallway.
Speaker 4I knocked over three vases.
Speaker 5They were all filled with flowers. I knocked them over and shattered them.
Speaker 1Fun fact, matt may have only described two of them. I don't know where the third one came from. Hi Jiraiya, hi. Jiraiya hi jiraya hi jiraya, did you hear? You hear him going fucking? Sure did he wants some pets coco, what's this about you?
Speaker 2for you just trying to snickers. Was it a snickers for the first time in your life? Snickers and twix you've never had it as a kid like yeah no, I was fucked up by that. I'm like you're telling me.
Speaker 1Yeah that really bothered me. I was like I couldn't tell you if I had it as a kid. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1But you did like the Twix. Right, I liked the Twix, Didn't like the Snickers the Snickers Now I feel like you would have liked the Snickers if you would have turned it upside down and slid it in slowly so you could feel the veins on it. You told him to flip it over and tell him to get the veins side down. No, I mean, the Twix was good. I didn't really like that. I'm not like a big fan of nuts and chocolate combined.
Speaker 2I don't know, I've heard different. You love nuts.
Speaker 1Yeah, but I don't love them dipped in chocolate.
Speaker 2I don't know, that's not what Zeno told us. I heard that too. Yeah, but I don't love them dipped in chocolate. I don't know.
Speaker 1I heard you like to get pooped on dude. When did you hear this?
Speaker 5All the time.
Speaker 1I heard it also too.
Speaker 2I wasn't going to bring it up Anybody getting pooped on everyone's like.
Speaker 5oh, coco loves that. I'm like whoa, that's weird, coco loves that.
Speaker 4Dusty told me that you like getting pooped on too.
Speaker 5Not told me that you like getting puked on too. Not factual. I would throw up, would you? I have a queasy stomach.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, I'd fucking yeah, I feel like I would also vomit if that happened to me you're probably into it.
Speaker 1You're silently into it.
Speaker 2He is into it, he's into roping or whatever it's called what did you just say? Roping. Oh, there's an o, there's an o. The term is rigging. Rigging, that's what it is I mean.
Speaker 1I mean, I'm just glad I clarified, because I did not hear roping and I was like the I know this podcast goes far, but okay okay is that the limit?
Speaker 2yeah, what coco heard is something I will never do.
Speaker 1I feel like we have to have a limit on some things. Yeah, there's a line.
Speaker 2Hmm, anyways.
Speaker 5I mean we did talk about like beating off with masks on in front of a fucking door with a keyhole in it.
Speaker 4So that was that was consensual yeah.
Speaker 1You're not gonna fucking.
Speaker 5We knew what we were after the last thing.
Speaker 1I need is the fucking NYPD showing up and fucking oh no but you're not in New York.
Speaker 2Why would the NYPD?
Speaker 1show up. I don't know, fucking. Detective Benson heard something FBI open up.
Speaker 5Cogs and cuffs.
Speaker 2That's already his kink. He's in that like every other night yeah cuff him.
Speaker 1I don't know why that one's so funny. It's so stupid, but it's so funny. I like the one that goes he's pulling his cock out that one, I think, is where's it at. I think I've overused it, so I removed it off the soundboard have a different one.
Speaker 2Oh, sad oh.
Speaker 5I have something else. I'm already in the soundboard.
Speaker 1Yeah, I'm already here and we've entered the soundboard phase of our yeah.
Speaker 2I'm going to stop Prepare yourself Listener. That's annoying.
Speaker 1Prepare yourself. I need silence okay that wasn't as loud on my end, but that was quiet on our end that? Did you just hear that? That was the shot from the United CEO. It just made its way over here.
Speaker 4I was gonna ask.
Speaker 5I'm going to hell. You know they try.
Speaker 1Have used a pilot that was the second shot. There was another CEO just murdered. Oh damn, I'm gonna open my TikTok later and it's gonna be like a fucking blue cross CEO was murdered. I'll be like fuck, I caused that to happen. That was literally me causing it to happen.
Imaginary Visualizations and Reading Struggles
Speaker 2I fired one for bring back the snack rat and if you guys seen Wicked causing it to happen, I fired the President McDonald's one for Bring Back the Snack Rat. Good have you guys seen Wicked.
Speaker 1No, I have not. No, I saw it last week, you know it's. You went and saw it.
Speaker 2Is it alright, not bad. Like I'm not a musical guy, like I'm okay with musicals, they're not my favorite, they're not my least favorite, I'm guy like I'm okay with musicals. They're not my favorite. They're not my least favorite. I'm okay with them. It's an almost three hour movie but it didn't feel like it was almost three hours, like it was enough to entertain me. There was even a jump scare in it.
Speaker 3I was absolutely surprised that there was a flying monkey jump scare the movie is longer than the entire play and the movie only goes through the first act.
Speaker 2Yeah, and I learned the book that is based on has bestiality in it because it does.
Speaker 1Hell yeah, who's fucking who?
Speaker 5It's a new type. Was in fucking wicked. Yeah, fucking fucking sexual predator Typhlosions.
Speaker 1And in fucking Wicked yeah, Typhlosion. Fucking sexual predator Typhlosions in Wicked man. That happened too while we were on break Fucking the Nintendo leaks. And then, to cover their ass, they decided to sue Power World even more Over fucking copyright or patent infringement, not copyright.
Speaker 2But all I got to say is like Typhlosion got the most heat when, like there were, had more stories.
Speaker 5There was a bunch of them. Dude which one. There was a lot but Typhlosion got the most heat. Well, it's because I was sitting at the airport waiting for a flight and I like two hours and all of a sudden my TikTok's like hey, do you want to know what Pokemon fuck people?
Speaker 1I'm like whoa, and one after another, that's what I got dude, I think the reason for I don't know what the other stories are, but I know the typhlosion one a little bit but it's just basically like fucking when you read it. It's like the girl got kidnapped. She closed her eyes and woke up the next day and there was a child. That's like kind of like the gist of the story and it's like okay. So he kidnapped her, kept her knocked out for who knows how long while she gave birth to a kid that's kind of weird.
Speaker 2That was actually an ai mistranslation. The person ran it through ai to get it translated. Ai is not perfect at translating so it really fucked up the story. So it's close to a myth about a certain yokai that's basically a uh, a badger, I think, because I think that's what typhlosion is inspired by. Is this yokai that's a badger and she goes out into the forest. She's supposed to be looking for something because her father sent her out there and she kind of more gets.
Speaker 2I'm trying to remember what the fall in love with your captor, what that thing's called yeah, so she basically got readily available in my brain over time she like she learns that this man that's been protecting her was actually a typhlosion and eventually they like start a family and then her dad comes in and like, kills the Typhlosion, takes her back. But because she has, like, this child of a Typhlosion, all the other people in the village make fun of her and they throw like the dead skin of the Typhlosion on her and the child and they become Typhlosions. Oh yeah, it's a really weird. I think I read the same thing asions. Oh yeah, it's a really weird story.
Speaker 5I think I read the same thing as E. Yep, I think I read the same exact thing as E, because I'm like this is too long and just fucking like yeah, it's really weird. Weird as fuck.
Speaker 4I don't believe that you can actually read.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, your intelligence is sick.
Speaker 2He has a lot more than you guys give him credit.
Speaker 4Hey, I got accepted into college.
Speaker 5He's told me many times he's illiterate.
Speaker 4That is my main argument for why I don't do stuff the right way.
Speaker 2I would firmly believe it if Coco told me he's illiterate, joke's on you I can't fucking read.
Speaker 5What do you mean?
Speaker 2I don't know. You never finished a book before, so I would believe it if you told me you were dyslexic or you were illiterate or something.
Speaker 1I'm definitely not illiterate because I can read. It's more like I don't have the attention span to stay reading something.
Speaker 4Yeah because he's autistic, right.
Speaker 1All I gotta say is, when I was teaching, autistic kids did like to read well, I mean, you got that combined with ADHD, so it's like I have all the motivation and zero motivation at the same time.
Speaker 2So it's like a fucking circuit breaker constantly going off for me, it's really hard to read a book because I get so easily distracted unless I feel like I can connect to the main character somehow. I feel like I can connect to the main character somehow and feel like I can be invested, but the moment I'm like, yeah, I don't give a shit about this main character.
Speaker 1I guess that's probably my problem, because I can never connect with the characters at all. Ever You're supposed to imagine stuff when you're reading and stuff like that that I don't do that so yeah. I can't actually I've never like whenever, when I've read stories, like I don't physically imagine what's happening, I'm just reading the words and understanding the words, and I that's how I read you know Coco's reading green eggs and ham and he's like man, fuck the Sam.
Speaker 1I am honestly, I do way better when there are pictures, because I don't imagine things you know that's fair.
Speaker 2I can understand that, like some aid in visualization, reading Fifty Shades of Grey would do nothing for you because you don't have pictures, it would straight up have to be porn for him.
Speaker 1I have a question for you guys.
Speaker 2I'm very curious to see what your answers are.
Speaker 1So if you were to count, close your eyes and count sheep, do you like physically see the sheep? I?
Speaker 2have actually attempted this fairly recently and, yes, I tried to envision the sheep, the fence, the pasture that we're in, like there's a background to this. I envision clouds.
Speaker 5I get the fence and the sheep Clouds jumping over.
Speaker 1You guys actually see stuff.
Speaker 3Yes, haley has the same problem. You know where I'm going with this. We've had this discussion a lot. That's one of the reasons that I have to use maps in D&D, because she cannot picture like imagine a 3d space in her mind I was literally about to get there and say that I have the exact same thing.
Speaker 1I was like I was reading, I was like I got, I got a tiktok video and they said, like somebody was talking about this, where they were, like you know, when you close your eyes and you count sheep and you know you're supposed to actually see the sheep. I was like what?
Speaker 2I've always heard that as like the apple thing, where how you picture an apple in your mind is like supposed to determine something.
Speaker 4I don't remember. People can't picture color in their imagination too, which is bizarre to me.
Speaker 3I mean.
Speaker 1You're a fucking asshole.
Speaker 4Batman's colorblind.
Speaker 2I can't see color anyway, so I feel like we need to play Hughes and Hughes with Batman.
Speaker 1Well man, maybe this explains why I don't like reading Hughes.
Speaker 2Only he is telling us what he thinks the color is that would be pretty entertaining.
Speaker 1I think it'd be fun pull it up right now he's here that's a board game. Oh, never mind, I didn't know either that was okay before I thought he was talking about something that he had online that he was ready to go with. But yeah, so like I like can't close my eyes and imagine sheep. In fact, when you just said thinking of an apple, like I was able to kind of like I can it's really weird to describe, like I don't see it, but like I kind of know what it is.
Speaker 3Conceptually it's there, but it's not a physical thing that you could reach out and touch if it were in the real world. I've had very long discussions with my wife about this because I find it fascinating, because I can't imagine being in that space, especially with someone who is as voracious of a reader as she is, to not be able to, like, literally picture these things in your mind's eye, even just reading the description. You can't put that into an actual, like painting in your brain. Yeah, you, just again. You know the concept of it is there, you know of its existence, but further description does nothing for you. That's why she can't read Tolkien, because he spends three pages describing a tree and she's done by the first sentence.
Speaker 2Yeah, Apparently the Apple test is called the Amphantasia test. I put it in the group chat there.
Speaker 5With you guys talking like I can't even start to see an outline of such. Probably enough. Yeah, just with Eddie. I took my headphones off and like, put them behind and even like, just like a little bit of background chatter that I can't even make out as words. It completely eliminates that ability. Just a little bit of background chatter that I can't even make out as words. It completely eliminates that ability. Oddly enough, if I lay down and it's silent and the fan is going and I have a background noise, that's consistent.
Speaker 2I can so kind of a white noise or something.
Speaker 5Yeah.
Speaker 2I think I'm kind of the same way. I can't picture it right now, but I know I definitely can.
Speaker 5Right, I know I can, it's just, whatever circumstances I'm under at this point, I am unable to achieve such goal.
Speaker 4I'm super jealous of people being able to see images in their brain now.
Speaker 2I had a dream last night that Dusty was a construction worker, and it may have awoken something in me what happened?
Speaker 1I found this vest in the closet something has happened and I just I stopped paying attention for a half a second and murky pulls a goddamn construction jacket from the side of his god damn you know where that's from xeno the veil academy from what that's from the side of his god damn.
Speaker 5You know where that's from Zeno the veil academy from what that's from the veil institute down in Texas yeah, I didn't get a fucking vest.
Speaker 1You weren't cool enough no, I got a magnet they say good job, kid, you're not gonna make it they gave us magnets.
Speaker 5I took a sleep aid the other night and had some weird vivid-ass dream kind of shit going on.
Speaker 4I mean the magnet's way more useful than that fucking stupid-ass vest you got there.
Speaker 5Yeah, but you can't do sex stuff with a magnet. Well, I guess you could, but I could do a lot of sex stuff with a Magnet Ascii.
Speaker 3That's what. I'm saying You're not trying hard enough.
Speaker 1You got a titanium rod in your dick, wow.
Speaker 5This is not the sounding episode. We did that one.
Speaker 1Yeah, but that one did pretty good it did One of our best episodes.
Speaker 2Which one was it Sounding in Hell with?
Bandwagon Conversations and CPAP Revelations
Speaker 1Satan. That's because we were talking about Murky's mom and somehow sounding in hell. I haven't logged into the fucking website in a while. I lowered our subscription plan so it just keeps you in the social lives.
Speaker 5We blew up while we were gone. Now we're super famous and we have no idea. Dude, that would be horrible.
Speaker 2Why do you think I'm out? I'm trying to jump on the bandwidth. Yes, you guys have no idea trying to jump on the bandwagon.
Speaker 3You guys have no idea.
Speaker 5You guys are like you guys are trending, you guys are trending.
Speaker 2Alright, let me go ahead and log in here, berkey, you're talking about Sleep Aid. What do you mean Sleep Aid? It's called alcohol. No, it was off-brand melatonin basically. Okay, because I got a melatonin gummy. Yo, I know I'm old, got a cpap and it freaking changed my life hell yeah, when did you get that?
Speaker 4I probably should do a cpap, like three months ago oh, was it like right after we talked yeah, because I found out I had 76 apneas per hour, which is more than one I had.
Speaker 1I had 64.
Speaker 2Yeah, so they told me, 35% of the time I'm not breathing. So when I go to sleep and sleep nine hours, a little over three hours, I'm not even breathing.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's an apneic event is 10 seconds without breathing 10 seconds.
Speaker 2yeah, I was having 76 an hour.
Speaker 1Now.
Speaker 2I'm down to two Now. I'm down to two an hour, man, and I feel so much better.
Speaker 1I. I'm down to two now. I'm down to an hour, man, and I feel so much better.
Speaker 2I'm down to like five an hour, but like I feel so much, yeah, mine fluctuates, sometimes it's like three or four, but still I'm not falling asleep it's a lot better than you up 60 or 70.
Speaker 1Yeah yeah, yeah, definitely for sure wow, they really changed the buzzsprout site yeah, you mean. I mean you should do this, since the CEOs being swapped out.
Speaker 2I don't know what those words were those fucking words.
Speaker 5What was that?
Speaker 1I don't even know what I was doing there, but you know you gotta get it before they get a new CEO he's gonna go in there and fucking ban CPAPs from policies yeah, those bitches are expensive, man sounding in hell. Sounding in Hell is actually fourth on the top of all time.
Speaker 4Hell yeah, what's third?
Speaker 1You want to take a guess?
Speaker 2The Foodo game.
Speaker 1No, those aren't on here actually.
Speaker 2Really, I listened to it like 400 times. It should be up there in the top five.
Speaker 5I'm laughing at Cade right now, who is. He'll scratch his head and then he licks his paws, and then he scratches his head and he licks his paws, and he scratches his head and he licks his paws, and he's doing both at the same time.
Speaker 1The third one is he's pulling his cock out.
Speaker 4Classic. That's when we discovered the soundboard.
Speaker 1Yes, yes and that was just dumb. And that that was just dumb. The worst season finale ever. Season 2, episode 20 is uh, second and welcome to the shit show is the first.
Speaker 4That was the last episode we did right what?
Speaker 1no, that was the last.
Speaker 2That was the last episode of the first season, right the second season oh, we've only done two seasons, right we're.
Speaker 1We're in season three, you dumbass.
Speaker 2I thought you were in season two. No, we're in season two.
Speaker 1The last fucking 20 episodes started with S3 episode number. We're in season three. For fuck's sakes.
Speaker 4I don't know what I'm doing here. No shit, I don't even know where I am half the time You're dead now?
Speaker 1No shit, how do you?
Speaker 2know where I am half the time. You're dead now, oh God.
Speaker 4I'm going to leave. There's someone running through Central.
Speaker 5Park and people walking over your body.
Speaker 1Dude. You know, what would have been even funnier is if that guy, like, did it without a mask and he was bald and had a fucking barcode on the back of his head.
Speaker 4Oh man, I think maybe he went in the central park and they couldn't find him because he was hiding in a cardboard box.
Speaker 1Yeah, he's just sitting there. He's still sitting there to this day.
Speaker 4It's a metal gear reference to this day. You know, like if I was working security and I saw a fucking cardboard box move, I'd look the other way. I'd be like, no, I'm not fucking with that, I'm going to choose life. Yeah, I'm not fucking with that cardboard box because if he's here, I'm on the wrong team right now and I'm going to let him do him or he's gonna do you yeah, he probably would win.
Speaker 1Win, yeah, honestly would you let him kiss you?
Speaker 4oh yeah, I think he would yeah fucking rigged.
Speaker 1But would you give him tongue? Uh, I don't think he would give him tongue, it would just be forced on him at that point we're talking like big boss or like solid snake absolutely like.
Speaker 4It's not even about if I want to just be forced on him at that point. We're talking like big boss or like solid snake absolutely like. It's not even about if I want to, I have to. I don't even think you could stop it if you're obligated, there's no way like there's no obligation to it.
Speaker 2That's solid snake wait, would you tongue solid snake or the or the box?
Speaker 5oh yes, solid snakes box. Solid snakes box yeah.
Speaker 1Conveniently. It's from the local fish market. What is the box?
Speaker 4Why is that convenient Climby?
Speaker 1Never mind, it made sense in my head, were you trying to picture it, I think.
Speaker 2Coco was referring to the smell of fish and he couldn't picture it.
Speaker 4He couldn't picture it, oh boy your face is really red yeah probably because I'm sick you've been sick for how long?
Medical Insurance Realizations and Banter
Speaker 1fucking 30 days. Huh, he's got fucking. United Healthcare or whatever fucking has his insurance man, no wonder why you're so reluctant to always go to the doctor you know I really good thing you don't have to.
Speaker 4It's mostly because I was raised a poor kid and we didn't go to the doctors for anything you better be dying?
Speaker 4yeah, exactly so. Like I've always like put myself in the habit of not going to the doctor because I'm like that shit's expensive and we can't afford it. And then I'm like, wait, you're an adult and you have health care and you can go to the doctor, like I'm getting a tooth removed. I was like man, like a wisdom tooth, like that shit's gonna be fucking expensive. And then I checked my hsa account and I have like three grand in there just chilling and I'm like, oh, I guess I can go have this tooth removed and it's not gonna cost me anything, because thank god I've saved up money over the course of the last 10 years to pay for this one instance.
Speaker 4Actually, over the last year and and it's only going to cost me $300 to remove anesthesia and everything I'm telling you I could have just came over with some really heavy-duty fishing line tied to your mouth.
Speaker 2That Zeno asked you specifically to yank that bitch out and you refused. I mean I could tie it up and stuff.
Speaker 5I just need him to. I would need him to do the act. I don't think I could actively hurt my friend and rip a tooth out of his fucking skull.
Speaker 4In hurting me. You would have been doing me a service, though, too.
Speaker 5Would I, when you know we have less than you know? We have subpar places to treat such a open wound in your mouth. I don't have the shit to put in there. I don't know what the fuck they put in there to keep from getting infected. What happens when we do it and the fishing line I used got a little dust on it, a little bacteria, and then you get a serious infection in your mouth and then they're like fuck, do we have cut out a section of your jaw now?
Speaker 4If he gets MRSA, he gets MRSA. Okay, at least the tooth fairy comes, that's all that matters. Mouth heals faster than any other part of your body, so like, look, two days later would have been fine just because your mouth gets beat up by wieners doesn't mean it's stronger and or heals faster than other mouths that's a fact, that's a real thing.
Speaker 1Your mouth probably could handle a good wiener beating because it's also made from the same material as your rectum.
Speaker 4Does that make blue drops for me feel better?
Speaker 1Yeah, because he takes so much cock in his ass.
Speaker 2How do we go from mouth to ass in his ass?
Speaker 4don't give me anxiety as far as shirt says bruh, yeah, bruh, bruh, I love it.
Speaker 2And my daughter says bro, all the time she calls frogs. Bro, don't call me bro, I'm your mom, I'm your mom. All right, bro, bro, bro.
Speaker 5My mom would have hit me with her fucking leg dude, With her fake ass, peg leg bro.
Speaker 1We just rip that off and beat you with it, peggy.
Speaker 5Oh, she'd be like oh murky rip that off and beat you with it, peggy. Oh she'd be like oh, murky, I got. I got the nails done on my fake leg. Oh, mom, that looks really nice, what color did you get? She'd be like, and then talk shit about something I did three weeks prior. I told you I wouldn't forget, motherfucker, I didn't forget.
Speaker 1I forgot. What am I being punished for?
Speaker 5oh, dude, I ever tell you guys about the time I talked about shit, about my mom's fucking prosthetic leg, and then proceed to run around the house. When she was like trying to talk to me about it, I was just like, oh, you're so slow like there's no way you could catch me physically yeah, jumping over a bad shit, yeah, okay yeah, season one, episode eight, I believe.
Speaker 4I feel like.
Speaker 5I believe you.
Speaker 4I'm not even gonna fact check.
Speaker 1You're right, that's the one so you know I can't go search the transcript, so we're just gonna have to believe it three screens up, one with each season of the podcast and all the episodes labeled Right. That's right. Fucking Farha right now, with the numbers and fucking words going by him, I can't see it.
Speaker 5I can see it in his glasses.
Speaker 4I can see the equations going.
Speaker 1I can't see it because I can't imagine that Right right, right, yeah, I can't imagine that but, Right, right, right. Yeah, I can. How does it feel?
Speaker 2Feels pretty good actually. I mean, knowing you can't and I can makes me feel like I'm superior.
Speaker 4Makes me feel like I'm better somehow. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah, because I'm not as tall as you.
Speaker 1I don't have a comeback. That's not mean.
Speaker 2I'm short, I know.
Speaker 1I wasn't going to say that, because that's just not funny anymore. You got to be something other than short no, that's all he's good for all I remember is the first time that Farha came up to me and E, and as he got closer he started looking up more and more and more and he was like why are you guys so tall? And I'm like I don't know, why are you so fucking short?
Speaker 2wait, was that when you guys were wearing the carrot costumes? Was that the very first time.
Speaker 1That was the very first time we met, because we were outside of that bar and you just like walked up and you're like why do you guys have to be so tall?
Speaker 2oh yes I remember yeah, and you were so yeah well, well, because from far away I'm like, oh, look at these guys. Oh, like he looks hot coco, looks fucking weird. So I'm like walking up and like, okay, they're getting bigger. Uh, they're pretty tall okay all right, cool.
Speaker 5Not easy to be at five9, or I understand, yeah, but you have a fucking voluptuous ass yeah, that is true, I got the thick, short dude build. If you need to lift something, you just look behind me and you see the dump truck. You're like I bet that motherfucker lift a lot dude if you arch your back, I can use your ass as a bench and just sit down. Some may call it.
Speaker 2Oh God, that's nice Dummy For the audio listeners. He's showing us his badunga dunk.
Speaker 1My neck's so fucking hard right now. Hang on, I got BRB.
Speaker 5It ain't easy being cheesy.
Speaker 1Come back without my shirt on and fucking white shit all over me.
Speaker 5Completely covered in oil. I'd prefer a cocoa to smoke a cigar actually.
Speaker 2Yeah, cocoa does look like a cigar guy.
Speaker 4I feel like cocoa would smoke a pipe Coco's a pipe guy. Agreed Distinguished.
Speaker 5He doesn't even have to smoke it because you know, if he inhales it he's probably going to have to die. Yeah, he would die obviously.
Speaker 1You're not supposed to inhale a cigar either. To be fair, Close right out.
Speaker 5That's you. You ever had the Cuba, cubas, no, the. What? Now you know you've had these. You've you actually smoked one with me at one point? The Cuba, cuba that has the blue label. I forget the actual manufacturer. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3They're really fucking good. They're really good and they're not not overly expensive.
Speaker 5It's really fucking good. They're really good and they're not not overly expensive.
Speaker 4It's like it was nine or ten dollar fucking cigar, if I remember right, and vacation really good that was the day um, everybody fucking went the same way yeah, the next girlfriend of mine was moving out and she like packed up a trailer left in the time that she was like taking her shit to her new apartment. Danny and david, I believe, had run to the um liquor store and bought cigars and a case of beer. So like, when she came back, there's five of us sitting out front of my house smoking cigars and drinking this fucking 24 pack of Bud Light. She was so pissed she was bitching about it to my hairdresser. She was like, yeah, I fucking saw your old girl earlier today and she was all kinds of pissed off. She was like man fucking, he doesn't even care Him, and his friends were outside smoking cigars and fucking drinking beer, having a good time. And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah and then she.
Speaker 5Then she wanted us to go help her move into her new apartment. We're like fuck you yeah I'm not doing that I think we get one run out of the kindness for her, like, hey, we'll bring some of the bigger stuff, but after that you're on your fucking own yeah, like, uh, she, we loaded up the trailer or something.
Speaker 4She's like so you guys just going to meet me at the apartment. And I was like, no, what? Like these guys are helping move your shit out and move my shit around. They're not helping you move in. So she was all mad at me. She was like, well, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Like I didn't have people come help because you had all these people here. I was like, well, I mean, you can ask them if they'll help you, but uh, otherwise, you should probably call some of your friends that you said was going to be here but for some reason aren't now see if they'll help you.
Speaker 4And she asked david and danny if, uh, they would help her move in. And david's like, yeah, I guess I'll do that. And she walked away and goes shawnee. I'm fucking telling you right now, I ain't fucking moving that shit into any apartment, I'm taking it off the fucking truck and putting it on the fucking curb and leaving. I was like she was on the third floor of this apartment complex too. Dude's like I ain't fucking moving shit up no fucking apartment stairs. And she ended up getting another friend to come and help her and shit. But I remember the hairdresser was like so how you doing?
Speaker 4I was like, dude, I'm doing fucking great, I'm fucking drinking beer and smoking cigars with the boys like it's fun times fucker yeah, I remember I was in the basement because a co-worker of mine had come over and was gonna help run uh like a ground to an electric socket, so the socket would have grounds on it, obviously. And my one buddy came downstairs and he's just like hey. I was like hey, how's it going? He goes. Yeah, your uh ex-girlfriend up there uh looked at me and looked at a box and was like this can go out now. And I just looked at her and was like cool, I'm gonna go find shod. And here I am. I was like right on, she was just like trying to order people around of like what could go out so she didn't have to move right.
Speaker 5You should be working harder than anybody right now.
Speaker 4This is all your shit it was good reason why that relationship didn't work out what a bitch.
Speaker 5Yeah, she sounds like a bitch fate had different things in mind, and it was me fucking then murky moved in.
Speaker 4She was all mad about that too. A couple weeks later she was like did you seriously move him in? I was like yeah. That's my bro, she was like you've known him for like two months, I was like yeah, I know he's a better roommate than you.
Speaker 5I'm dying for this motherfucker bro. He's willing to die for me and I'll die for him. All right, because neither one of us care enough to live any longer.
Speaker 4Yeah exactly, shit was wild, uh, we played monster hunter all the time. Oh, dude, we played so much fucking monster hunter. It was insane. Wilds is gonna oh my god so hard for that monster and wilds is gonna be my so hard for that monster Wilds is gonna be the best thing that's ever.
Speaker 5Happened early next year.
Speaker 4Oh, I have to fucking. Yeah, coco.
Speaker 5Coco, I know you're in for Wilds. I watched you play the beta for Quite some time yeah, you were enjoying.
Speaker 1Oh my fucking Christ, lord Farquaad, he's. He's the Best thing ever. I don't know Farha saw Lord Farquaad. Lord Farquaad, he's the best thing ever.
NSFW Conversations and Awkward Banter
Speaker 5I don't know if Farha saw Lord Farquaad if you guys would like to catch Lord Farquaad, tune in to the Coder Coco have you seen, lord Farquaad, that I made no hang on.
Speaker 1I'm opening up right now so I could share what it looks like. Come on, start quicker, damn it. Yeah, we're not as quick as a can cigars for the wedding shit? This is gonna be so much stuff. You guys, I'm going live with the middle monitor, and I'm going live with the middle monitor and I'm going to pull up the twitch fishing over here, which I think.
Speaker 2Oh, is Lord Firecrow one of the things you can catch.
Speaker 1Yes, but hang on, where is it at?
Speaker 2Maybe I have seen it.
Speaker 1There we go. All right, you guys can see the thingy.
Speaker 5See stream paused.
Speaker 2Sit tight, what do?
Speaker 4you mean Coder Coco has minimized their application.
Speaker 1What application did I minimize? I'm just telling you what it fucking says, bro. I started streaming OBS. I don't know why you're yelling at me. I'm yelling telling you what a fucking says, bro. I streamed. I started streaming OBS.
Speaker 4Yeah, I don't know why you're yelling at me.
Speaker 1I'm yelling at everybody, I don't know if I heard you today, but I'm freaking fucking sure it wasn't me Xeno's done nothing. All right. Which fucking screen is this?
Speaker 4Yeah, just like at work. There we go, whoa, and then I'm like, hey, how's it going?
Speaker 2and I'm like, hey, how's it?
Speaker 1going and he's like, hey, hang on, that's it, at least you minimize your porn hub.
Speaker 4Yeah, I did, uh, so is porn hub still legal and or whatever I?
Speaker 2don't know, I don't watch it over there no, it's actually not.
Speaker 5Oh no, he's in it's not he's in okay, I have to say that henta donkey show is the wildest search thing I've ever seen in all my life, so congrats to you sir.
Speaker 1What is that? That's Lord Farquaad. That's Lord Farquaad In Monster Hunter. Yeah, I made Lord Farquaad. Yeah, that was your Monster.
Speaker 4Hunter Wilds character. Yeah dude, yeah he had.
Speaker 2Is there really a Lord Farquaad in Monster Hunter?
Speaker 1This is my character creation, if you make them and name them that there can be Gotcha Gotcha. Yeah, so I made Lord Farquaad Fucking ugly. That was the point. He is beautiful. He is beautiful. He has such a square face. It is incredible. But yeah, so, lord Farquaad. Also, while I was pulling that up, what were you guys talking about? I kind of heard something. I don't know what you actually said I was paying attention. What about porn?
Speaker 5you popped up your screen, the first thing I saw was the henta donkey show, or hentai donkey show. Search history, and that's just wild, I don't know why you're surprised.
Speaker 1I'm fucking autistic. It's the fucking, my little pony know why you're surprised.
Speaker 5I'm fucking autistic. It's the fucking. My Little Pony OC Pony Dewdrop, Starshine.
Speaker 1Do you want me to pull up with my porn browser?
Speaker 2and really show you something.
Speaker 5No, Don't beat my dick to MLB, you're not even close.
Speaker 1We don't need to see your search history. You're not even close to how weird some of the stuff I have saved is.
Speaker 2And I'd rather not know. You have porn saved? I don't think.
Speaker 5I would. I have a bookmark.
Speaker 1How much doubt Show us your bookmark Show us your bookmark in real time. Do you want me to open up the fucking bookmark? I don't think you guys want that. I don't.
Speaker 2The bookmark will probably say Farha in a maid outfit, and it'll fucking freak me out.
Speaker 5Brassican tentacle, my little pony. Obviously consensual. Obviously there's tags for non-consensual Destruction. Yeah, extreme destruction.
Speaker 1What do we get what?
Speaker 2do you get Anal?
Speaker 1Yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot Destruction.
Speaker 2What do we get? What do you get Anal? Yeah, there's a lot.
Speaker 5There's a lot. There's a lot. The first thing is definitely a job.
Speaker 2Save it for season four.
Speaker 1Save it for season four. He's trying to be nice over there because he's trying not to fucking hate on furries and autistic people now.
Speaker 4That reminds me, um, you remember the two younger kids that show up at the card shop? E, uh, vaguely so. Uh, dr fart was playing the older of the two younger kids and she was talking about how she's from Chicago and he's like, oh my gosh, I'm going to go there this weekend. And she's like, oh cool, what for? And he's like the furry con on Friday, my parents are letting me skip school and stuff and I'm going to go and I'm really excited about it. And Dr Fry's like, oh, that's great. Like I don't know, maybe 16. Oh yeah. So, dr Farts, like I was trying to be really excited for him but I was just like, oh yeah, that's, that's awesome. I'm sure you're going to have a great time there. Oh, dr, it's a real kid, sure you're going to have a great time there, ugh, you say Dr Fart, for real.
Speaker 5If you want to be grown and do that, you should have at it.
Speaker 4It's actually Dr Fartpartment. We call her Dr Fart or Farty for short.
Speaker 1Just like we call you Shorty, I'm all for you.
Speaker 5You've never done that. Send your fat cock.
Speaker 2Send your fat cock and we're back.
Speaker 1I had a crush. I have no idea where we let off, get fucked. I didn't want to end it on just not having an outro.
Speaker 4We've done that before. It's unoriginal at this point.
Speaker 5Disrespect asses.
Speaker 1Yeah, so E and Zeno. You know how the. Leroy Jenkins thing how they. The famous video that we saw is actually just a reenactment of what actually happened.
Speaker 4Is that true?
Speaker 1Yeah, because they didn't have the original recorded yeah.
Speaker 2Oh, the chicken one, leroy, is that true? Yeah, because they didn't have the original recorded. Yeah, oh the, at least I got chicken one, Leroy Jenkins.
Speaker 1That's not real Well what happened is, but like they had to do a reenactment of it because they didn't get it on the they didn't like. Record it back in those days.
Speaker 4That just shattered my whole childhood.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's super depressing that's why I started playing wow for 16 years anyway. I thought that was well-known information, so I'm sorry about that but anyway, do you care to reenact what you did while my computer was crashing?
Speaker 4no, yeah, it's like the moment's caught.
Speaker 2This is now the teacher calling us up to the front of the class to be like and do you want?
Speaker 5to read this note out loud I don't want to retell.
Speaker 4You've just now made this awkward is what you've done.
Speaker 1Zeno has something that he wants to tell you, I would disrespect you.
Speaker 4Okay, that's fine.
Speaker 2Froggy would be fine with it too. You wouldn't fucking care she'd record it yeah she would 100. Believe that frog?
Attempt at Break a World Record
Speaker 4you would just watch they're gonna make new laws after we're done that's why you're gonna need id on the board hub yeah, so well, look at the baby they can upload the fansly yes, absolutely. It's all going to be filmed through a keyhole too hmm, before we leave.
Speaker 2Speaking of which, did you guys hear about the only fans porn actress who wants to try to sleep with a thousand dudes in one day?
Speaker 4did not hear about. I did not hear about that. I did hear about the one that was trying to hook up with Elon Musk, though.
Speaker 1Farhad, do you want to be the thousandth dude or the first dude?
Speaker 2Oh, the first dude because even by number 20, she won't even know I'm there.
Speaker 4Dude, you'd have so much unknown DNA on your dick.
Speaker 2Come on boys, you're as back there as hard as you can well, yeah, like if you're number like 800, you've been waiting for hours. By the time it's showtime.
Speaker 1You're just, you're over it, yeah it's fucking cat dude, you just fucking stick it in and it's just like, wow, this is just way too open yeah, I remember seeing on, I don't even remember what the show was, but I remember it was on Spike TV when I was a big thing.
Speaker 2It was one of those dude shows I was in ways to die. No, it was another one, but it was like a porn star who like slept with 100 dudes in one day and the one thing I remember from that was her talking on that episode. She was like, yeah, like after dude dude number 50, it genuinely started to her I was not having fun anymore and I was like, oh god oh so, like what constitutes, like like a finality of it does when you're working for world records.
Speaker 4I mean, yeah, like they gotta go they gotta do their business they got, like I just imagine you have to do their business.
Speaker 2Oh my god, this is.
Speaker 1This is just like a fucking line and you fucking one pump and then move on.
Speaker 5Yeah, well, yeah, they have a hundred dudes they're all beating their dick at the same time. It's kind of fuck. I couldn't do it. No, yeah me either. Stop looking at my little dick and I'm leaving. I'm leaving as long as.
Speaker 2Zeno's not before or after me. I'm good, Right, right, right. Well, I mean, if you want to be a part of it, all you got to do is send her a photo of you send her a photo of your driver's license and then a photo of you with your driver's license, and then she just goes off from that. She don't need to see the dick. Huh, you know a lot about that. You've been in a few glory holes, haven't you more?
Speaker 4than you ever need to know yeah, true, it was just a hole you're supposed to not know who's on the other side.
Speaker 5It's just a hole in an honor system there hope it's not a dude on the other side.
Speaker 2It's just a hole in an honor system. An honor, an honor among thieves.
Speaker 5They're stealing fucking cum shots out there dude. There's no honor among thieves.
Speaker 4Oh, no, well, that's going to end it?
Speaker 2Yeah, there will eventually be more ADHD after dark.
Speaker 5We just don't really know when it's, whenever Coco feels like he's not going to be autistic. We will see you, motherfuckers, in 2025.
Speaker 1Yeah, goodbye. Goodbye, spooky devil man, spooky devil man.
