ADHD After Dark
ADHD After Dark is the unfiltered podcast where a group of hilarious dudes with ADHD gather to talk about anything and everything that comes to mind. Brace yourself for an explicit and comedic rollercoaster ride, as we dive into the depths of randomness, pushing the boundaries of humor and edginess.
In each episode, we unleash our unapologetic, off-the-cuff banter, sharing outrageous stories, wild adventures, and side-splitting anecdotes that will keep you laughing throughout the night. No topic is off-limits for us—whether it's outrageous personal experiences, taboo subjects, or exploring the more intimate and risqué aspects of life, we bring a refreshingly audacious and humorous perspective to it all.
ADHD After Dark is your escape from the mundane and predictable. Join our crew as we navigate the uncharted territories of comedic chaos, reveling in the freedom to explore the untamed corners of our minds. We embrace the spirit of After Dark, where the content can get explicit, sexual, and edgy—pushing boundaries and challenging social norms with a healthy dose of laughter.
While we may not always offer informative insights, we guarantee an uproarious time filled with absurdity, spontaneous conversations, and unabashed humor. It's a podcast that's not afraid to go where others won't, creating an inclusive space for individuals who enjoy unfiltered comedic escapades.
So, grab a drink, kick back, and immerse yourself in the unapologetically hilarious world of ADHD After Dark. Warning: explicit content ahead—tune in at your own risk, but be prepared to laugh your way through our zany adventures, spontaneous tangents, and unabashedly funny discussions that defy convention. Welcome to the wild, comedic chaos of ADHD After Dark.
ADHD After Dark
S3 E21: Disrespecting Farha's Ass
What happens when life throws a curveball and your wedding date gets moved up? Join us as we navigate through unexpected changes, like Murky’s hurried nuptials and the surprise return of a family member. We’re getting real about the absurdity of pay-to-win mechanics in gaming, with a spotlight on the costly boosts in Unite. We also welcome Farha, who shares his journey from streaming to DJing, sparked by burnout from the relentless world of GTRP.
Fast-food nostalgia is on the menu as we reminisce about the dearly departed McDonald's Snack Wrap and the legendary Meat Mountain from Arby’s. We poke fun at failed imitations from other chains and tackle the McRib's controversial allure. From secret menu challenges to culinary concoctions like the Chicken Big Mac, we’re savoring the quirky fast-food adventures that leave us with both cravings and chuckles.
Our conversations take a whimsical turn with tales of D&D antics, NSFW discussions, and bizarre world record attempts. Laugh along with us as Farha regales us with stories about furry conventions and iconic internet moments. We’re exploring healthcare awakenings with a humorous twist and contemplating the peculiarities of daily life. As we bid farewell for now, our blend of humor, camaraderie, and candid observations promises to leave you entertained, eagerly awaiting our return next year.
Twitter - https://twitter.com/DarkAfterAdhd
it's been a while. Everybody, there's a lot of things different. Murky's wedding date is changing. United healthcare ceo doesn't exist anymore. They're looking for a new one. Uh, but, but there's, there's still some things that are that are the same, you know, like my dad's dead um well, oh no, that actually changed.
Speaker 2:It was in the most recent update. He was back temporarily, but then they patched it and he's dead again. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:God damn it. Well, that's unfortunate, oh well. Well, he's dead again.
Speaker 3:New DLC.
Speaker 1:I actually had to play the DLC that I played, the flashback of him dying. And then I got the achievement for your dad is dead.
Speaker 5:Oh yeah, I was going to suck his pee pee. Okay, how many experience points was that achievement worth?
Speaker 1:It was worth gamer points. It was worth one.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's kind of depressing.
Speaker 1:Actually I think it was worth negative one. That's kind of depressing, yeah, actually I think. Actually I think it was worth negative one.
Speaker 2:I had to pay for it he's just trying to get that platinum trophy yeah, to win, pay to win.
Speaker 1:Speaking of pay to win, I saw the unite has a pay to win sort of spray, that if you spray it on a hollow where it gives you more performance points and performance points and performance points help you not de-rank and rank.
Speaker 1:And I was like this is stupid. And the thing is you can only spray it. It's 250 gems and you spray it, um, on a single hollowware, but like only it only works on one hollowware. So like if the character you sprayed it on gets taken, you don't get the boost, so you have to buy another one for any other character that you might use. And I was like this is fucking stupid. They could literally get $40 out of somebody for like 30 days.
Speaker 5:Yeah, just wanted to not lose rank points.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, I was like this is dumb, fucking stupid. Anyway, hi, murky, you know what else hasn't changed? Stupid.
Speaker 5:Anyway, hi, marky, you know what else hasn't changed? That I won't be seeing my mom for Christmas.
Speaker 4:Correct, Actually step on down.
Speaker 5:We have somebody else for you.
Speaker 2:I've got your mom right here, I don't remember. Hang on, that's the wrong one, I don't know. Hi, dusty, my mom said hey.
Speaker 1:My mom said hey, my mom said hey, you just came in here for a role. We get heartburn, oh shit Anyway. How's it really been. It's been a while. This is technically going to be our season closer, even though we haven't released an episode is technically going to be our season closer, even though we haven't released an episode.
Speaker 5:It's going to be our year closer.
Speaker 1:I prefer more of a holiday special.
Speaker 5:Yeah, okay, holiday special.
Speaker 1:We'll be back, probably officially, sometime next year early next year Maybe, who knows? I mean it's going to be really busy because Murky's getting married now because his date's moved up and I'm getting married, and there's not going to be really busy because murky's getting married now because his dates moved up and I'm getting married, and it there's not gonna be a lot of time for adhd after dark for all of the sex festivities that are happening did we ever talk about your autism diagnosis in the last season no, because I didn't get diagnosed until we stopped recording yeah so yeah, I got, I got, I got diagnosed with autism.
Speaker 1:Hi now. I'm your resident autistic ADHD expert, also Farha's here and first off that's called the penis far hot.
Speaker 2:Oh it's called penis. Hi everybody, I'm glad to be here. I want to say a shout out to the, the only real one in here. He knows who he is.
Speaker 3:Batman no Zeno, Zeno Zeno's probably playing Zeno?
Speaker 1:are you playing Destiny right now? I'm no, I'm not right now I'm.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not. Oh, you're playing silent hill, yeah I'm playing silent hill.
Speaker 4:Yeah, silent hill's a good game.
Speaker 2:Silent hill this is how it looks when xeno's playing a game while you guys are doing a podcast. Oh no, he is fucking zoned in.
Speaker 5:Yeah, he looks super zoned in it's a lot better than me, though, at least, like he still kind of talks here and there. When I play video games and we try to do this, you get nothing.
Speaker 4:I don't know, you're not playing video games. You don't hear me mention like I think fuck fuck, wasn't there one time you were playing.
Speaker 5:All I've been playing is PvP and Destiny lately, other than like that or fishing because it's just relaxing yeah and somehow he can't fucking do fishing without getting distracted too. You hear him go fuck, fuck yeah, all of a know I'm fighting one fish, then the other. You know my good rod just starts ripping drag. I'm like, oh, it's good, I gotta get it. I'm chris brad about your kitchen fish brad.
Speaker 1:So uh, farha, I see you, jeremy, wade jeremy wade, I'm a jeff wiggles jeff wiggles the ultimate um so far has's a DJ. Now I noticed he has a. Dj he traded his stream equipment out for DJ equipment. What?
Speaker 2:happened was I got rid of GTRP because I got banned for now we have to back up, would you get? Banned. We're going to need that story first.
Speaker 5:I feel like you did now. You don't want to say it on the podcast.
Speaker 2:No what.
Speaker 5:I was going to say is I got banned for ERP?
Speaker 3:You got banned for ERP? No, I didn't.
Speaker 4:I'm just kidding, I'm kidding.
Speaker 2:No, what happened was I got burned out man, I was a cop and I was literally spending eight hours a day being a police officer in a server, and I just hit a point where I was just like what am I doing?
Speaker 1:when I was so addicted job.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, like I was so addicted that we're having family events and like I would miss it because I had a training, because I was like a one of the field training officers, so like I would have a training, I'd be like I can't make it. I'm like what am I doing? This, this gta server, has become my real life and I was like ignoring people. Yeah, I had to back up good on you.
Speaker 5:Now a dj. You know, that's my new hobby.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah, dude good on you, damn man. It's fun, yeah, but I've been taking a lot of courses. I bought, bought a controller, a stand. I bought a laptop for Christmas. My goal is my niece's graduation party is in June, so I want to surprise her and actually be the DJ for my niece.
Speaker 4:Nice, that would be dope as hell.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so that's where my attention has been focused. Good on you, dude.
Speaker 4:Yeah well, that's super wholesome. We don't get that on this podcast.
Speaker 1:You gotta make adult decisions like that I don't have to shit on this without being an asshole you don't this episode's about growth this episode is about growth. Fuck you, we don't do any of that here we need to feel good.
Speaker 2:Farha's the feel good in this right now yeah, I'm the balance, cause there's too much dead parents around here.
Speaker 1:It's really bringing it down so I'm trying to bring it back in the world today or the other day the other day about eminem's mom.
Speaker 5:Wait, no, but yeah, yeah eminem's mom died oh, she finally cleaned out her closet for the last time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, she won't be walking eight miles anymore.
Speaker 4:I'm not the one who I wasn't talking about that.
Speaker 1:I was talking about the United Healthcare CEO.
Speaker 3:Have you seen?
Speaker 1:any of the comments on videos for that.
Speaker 4:They're disturbingly hilarious.
Speaker 1:They make you question everything, but also then question yourself that you find it funny. I don't know if Farha has heard of any of them, so yeah, one time.
Speaker 5:It's like you know, someone did die. Someone did die. Were you talking about the?
Speaker 1:guy who literally got hit yesterday. Yes, he got shot in the back.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, yeah. And then he ran away wearing all black with a gray backpack or something. Well, yeah, the guy that got shot didn't run away.
Speaker 4:He died. No, I know he's been seen right now what's?
Speaker 4:ironic about that is the night before I was trying to use Teladoc to talk to a doctor about a cough that I've had for like a month. It literally took 50 minutes on the phone with this lady for them to finally figure it out, and it was equated to my member ID being wrong or something, or like they need to reissue me a member number or some kind of bullshit. The lady I talked to was very nice and very helpful, but I was super frustrated with it, told my boss about it and then later in the day fun fact our insurance is through that company.
Speaker 4:And he was like hey man just saw on the news that somebody was, you know, the CEO, was shot and killed. You want to happen to know anything about that and I was like I plead the fifth. I don't know no idea what you're talking about, man.
Speaker 1:To put it in perspective of how bad. To put it in perspective of how bad, how bad it is. Somebody, somebody got a balloon that said CEO dad, I saw that. And it had a smiling star on it, a bunch of party streamers and shit like that and they put it at the site where he fucking died. The other fucked up part is the shareholder stepped over his dead body to continue with their meeting.
Speaker 2:I also heard about that. I was telling Shannon about that and she was like that is the most deplorable thing I've heard yeah, people are feeling absolutely no remorse for that man yeah. No, I don't, I feel no remorse what was wrong with him?
Speaker 1:he's the CEO of a health insurance company who denies 30% of their clients.
Speaker 5:Has the highest rate of claim denial in the industry by far. It's not even within half a percent.
Speaker 1:Apparently. I read that there was a child going through. This was a doctor trying to convince the health insurance that a child going through chemotherapy needs nausea medication. And the insurance company was like hey, he's only going through chemo, he shouldn't be nauseous, so claim denied. And I'm like what?
Speaker 2:do they not understand what chemo is?
Speaker 1:no, they just they, they do, they just don't want to pay.
Speaker 2:I read that this is literally like a John Q situation.
Speaker 5:Oh, this is a company that in 2023, made like what?
Speaker 1:22 to 23 billion dollars in profits Pretty soon, like fucking 6 million of that's going to go to security Billion, b Billion dollars, 22, 23 of them. What was really funny is there's now TikToks out there saying like oh, you can't solve anything with violence, we can't support this and stuff like that. And it cuts to like there's this guy that was making fun of the news article. That also happened with Anthem because they have decided that they're going to stop paying for surgery and anesthesia after a certain time limit yeah yeah, yeah, I didn't hear that.
Speaker 1:Oh well, yeah, they, they reversed it. Let me get to the yeah immediately the funny part. They were like um, so the tiktok goes. So you can't, you can't, you can't. We can't justify this. Violence is is never the solution. This isn't going to end well. We can't support this. And then it cuts to the dude looking up with the news article above his head like this and my head's pointed up and my mouth is just wide open for audio listeners and he's just like and it says shut the fuck up, we might upload this to family.
Speaker 1:You guys don't have fans anymore. Back he, I still have it. We got an. We got an invite to something. At one point I didn't want to accept it. Um no, but he, uh, he, he, uh. He had the article of anth. Uh, blue cross, blue Shield reverses their policies for anesthesia use in wake of United CEO's murder. And then I saw another funny TikTok not too long before this meeting. Where it was, it wasn't even like the United CEO, it was like the McDonald's CEO. It was like the McDonald's CEO after we see the news and he goes with the snack wrap. He's like sir, is there something wrong? It was like the McDonald's CEO after we see the news and he goes With the snack wrap. Yeah, he's like Sir, is there something wrong? And the fucking TikTok just goes. We need to bring back the snack wrap.
Speaker 1:I don't care how bring it back, and that's the whole TikTok you want to save yourself, sir, might be the only way I was dying.
Speaker 5:I'd fuck with the snack wrap.
Speaker 4:I love the only way I was dying. I'd fuck with the snack wrap. I'd love the snack wrap.
Speaker 2:I'd absolutely fuck with the snack wrap, fuck with I'd smack my mom's dad on the ground to fucking yeah there's like the.
Speaker 4:Big.
Speaker 2:Macs.
Speaker 5:There's a Big Mac snack wrap.
Speaker 2:There's a ranch. One wasn't there.
Speaker 5:There's a chicken bacon ranch, I think yeah that's what it was.
Speaker 4:They have like a spicy Thai one.
Speaker 5:I feel like there's one more, like that was like this. I feel like there's three.
Speaker 1:Hmm.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think you're right.
Speaker 1:I want a snack wrap now. Dude the best.
Speaker 5:They were the best. I would kill a CEO. I tried Burger King. I would kill a CEO for a snack wrap right about now. Yeah, because Burger King has their version of the snack wraps right now. I can tell you, I tried them and their ass. Yeah, it's not the same. What's Burger?
Speaker 4:King first off the ass. Somebody else came out with a snack wrap recently. You know other than they have.
Speaker 5:I think it was Arby's 258 pieces at Burger King for chicken nugs. That's not bad, not a bad deal.
Speaker 4:Five hours. No, Arby's had the good burger, the good burger. Arby's had the good burger. What I did see that.
Speaker 5:Yeah, from all that or did it come with an orange fanta?
Speaker 2:I don't know, but it should have the better of or just orange soda. Kelly loves orange soda dude yeah, I guess it was because good burger had a sequel, like that's how I learned about it was arby's was doing the good burger. Yeah, but I guess they weren't that good. Neither was the movie right.
Speaker 5:Oh damn shame they also have the meat mountain oh my god, yeah, my, one of my on the secret menu.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I tried it. Menu one of my.
Speaker 2:Yeah, one of my zeno's nickname in college, one of my one time when I was still in pittsburgh.
Speaker 1:Um, he was like I heard that there's this thing called the meat mountain. I'm like what the fuck he's like? Yeah, it's just literally. You know how they have all the meat. It's all the meat. He got this thing and every single piece of meat that you could get at Arby's was on this fucking sandwich. It was this fucking.
Speaker 5:It was this fucking meat, all the roast, beef all the fuck.
Speaker 1:The chicken tenders roast beef, you name it Any meat product on their menu. There was at least one of it. On this thing we ever done.
Speaker 4:the air challenge, the what McDonald's Lancy? Air challenge no.
Speaker 5:I have no idea what that is.
Speaker 4:It's a McDouble, a McChicken and a Filet-O-Fish.
Speaker 5:And you just stack it and you eat it. Basically a McGangbang, but with an extra Filet-O-Fish.
Speaker 1:A McGangbang. I call it the Landier, I don't know. I don't really like fish and I feel like McDonald's fish is kind of questionable.
Speaker 4:It was not good. It's not like it even blended at all. More, you just tasted each individual thing thing and you were more and more disappointed as you went through the sandwich.
Speaker 1:Somehow the Arby's one was pretty good. From what I heard, dude, the meat mountain fucks Okay, but it's also probably because they're all seasoned similarly and they probably blend pretty well.
Speaker 4:It's all the same meat.
Speaker 2:Do y'all like the McRib? I'm not a fan of it. I fucking won't lie, dude. I love right. You all like to make rib. I'm not. I'm fucking gonna lie, dude. I love the mcrib bro.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's not bad. I can have it like once or twice. Yeah, it's like, it's okay, like it reminds me of the banquet tv dinners.
Speaker 5:That's a once a year deal. I see it and I get it once and I I eat it and then I feel guilty afterwards. I'm just like I bet that's the most disgusting meat that's ever been in a sandwich. I don't remember why you didn't eat it in the first place, but I don't give a fuck right now.
Speaker 4:It's a good thing that it's a seasonal thing, because I only need one a year, yeah.
Speaker 5:Bit of that. I skip years. I skip years sometimes. I don't think I've ever had one Because I look at the picture and I just see, like I'm like I bet if that barbecue sauce wasn't there nothing about the advertising is the barbecue sauce is carrying all the weight hmm, I don't want fucking, I want food now has anyone tried the chicken Big Mac yet?
Speaker 2:uh Zeno has yeah, I tried it too.
Speaker 5:I tried it it's not bad it's just two McChicken patties covered in fucking McChicken.
Speaker 1:I don't think it's okay, it's just two mcchicken patties covered in fucking max off.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's same thing, but chicken is really yeah right, I don't think it's the same chicken used on the mcchicken. It's a different freddy chicken. It's a little bit better quality.
Speaker 2:But still not a little bit better quality yeah so uh, should I introduce?
Speaker 1:are we gonna play a food and area game?
Speaker 2:I mean, that's what I'm here for, do you want? To well, murky didn't purchase I thought that's what we were doing, isn't that the season you guys do food and area game?
Speaker 1:no, no, you're not getting the memo I think you're misquoting or misunderstanding just post those porn games in there to show what's on steam, not for us to play yeah, oh, I'm leaving then.
Speaker 2:That's just what's on.
Speaker 1:Hang on, hang on, I got at least I got at least a couple of sound alerts.
Speaker 5:I need to, I need to share, share with the group about, uh, about the new sound sound things that we have right yeah, hang on, wait, this one's my ai, when it, when it broke on stream, I don't know, I don't know,
Speaker 2:why it broke like that um yeah where's the other one?
Speaker 1:uh, I don't want to play the last one yet, hang on. Where's the one where murky goes?
Speaker 5:uh, not, not the, not the uh, I'm gonna go pull a coke no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:Not that one, not that one.
Speaker 5:This is due to oh, you're dicking my ass.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that one. So we got a new one for Murky. Oh, you're dicking my ass.
Speaker 5:There's a couple for me, I'm sure.
Speaker 1:We got another one for Matman Spooky, spooky devil, yes, so we've got that one.
Speaker 5:It was the best. But then my new favorite one is when did you turn black, by the way? There's a something cat man who went down a chimney, and he was not black before he went into the chimney. And I have an intelligence of six. Yeah, not my fault what do you mean?
Speaker 1:it's not your fault, it's not his fault.
Speaker 5:Old Louie didn't understand man old Louie.
Speaker 4:To be fair, he really didn't y'all have so much unfinished business.
Speaker 2:You guys never finished the Lightning McQueen story yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I forgot what happened. I want to know what happened. Who's in my trunk right now?
Speaker 2:Murky's character yeah.
Speaker 1:Do we want to like? I don't remember what we were doing.
Speaker 2:I don't remember that thing was being driven by AI.
Speaker 4:I think we just fought it was a log.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you did, and then you all were hopping in the trunk and then someone was in the trunk and got out, but then somebody put the power back in.
Speaker 1:Somebody smacked my ass so hard that we had to go back in time.
Speaker 4:Yeah, Murky spanked your ass so hard that he broke your bumper, or like caved in the rear end and killed you, I think.
Speaker 5:Rolled a natural 20 on smacking your ass. Wasn't it the last time we played, just destroyed you? Wasn't it the last?
Speaker 1:time we played, the last time we did ADHD, wasn't that when E did his the question game or whatever?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was it. Probably, I don't know it was. I'm the biggest fan, I know all the episodes, that was the last one.
Speaker 5:Dude Murky's such a big fan of the podcast I don't remember oh wow, this is the first time that you haven't remembered something. Yeah, I think you guys just made fun of me so much that it got into my brain and I just stopped listening to see how I could be better at things. So I was just like fuck it. And here we are.
Speaker 2:I caught homeless people smoking weed yesterday after I ran into uh sean at the grocery store oh did you yeah so did you see the homeless guy pushing a cart that was yelling to himself earlier today? Yes, yes, I did because, I was outside was that outside of work or yes oh, hell yeah, dude all right.
Speaker 2:So, uh, update for our listeners I am now working with zeno at his place and, uh, yesterday during lunch both zeno and I happened to go to the grocery store that's right down the road to hit up the deli section. I leave through the deli section of the grocery store and something just kind of caught my eye. You know how you just feel like a weird energy, so you kind of just look in that direction sometimes like something's looking at you. Yeah, and hiding behind I shouldn't even say behind, they were more beside it the red box dispenser machine rental thing were two homeless people trying to light up a joint, and it was a man and a woman, and the man's like staring me in the eyes like oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. The only thing I did was I just walked away.
Speaker 4:I was not dealing with it. Good call, good call.
Speaker 2:And then today, yeah, I'm taking out some trash to throw away in our dumpsters and I just hear screaming. I look over and it's just this dude pushing a shopping car full of something. I have no idea what was in there and he's just loudly talking to himself, to the point he's screaming.
Speaker 4:Yeah, he's like laughing and all kinds of shit. It was pretty wild, yeah, yeah that was a lot myrtle beach.
Speaker 2:Around the ocean boulevard there's always people yelling, talking to themselves and trying to kick cars when they're driving by. Just it's so crazy. Kind of feel bad for him. I do too, yeah, but then you probably realize they took all their money, their their parents money and bought meth so that you don't really right, yeah, so maybe they deserve that like there's some people that I'm pretty sure just fell on hard times because the world just kicked them in the balls and there was nothing they could do.
Speaker 2:But then there are other people that's like you kind of hear their story. It's like, oh so you're here because you got really addicted to drugs do you be like that sometimes? Yep, and honestly, that's how we got coco yeah exactly.
Speaker 1:Look at him I have drugs look at him now everybody thought I did cocaine, and now everybody.
Speaker 4:That is true we now everybody I say we but I came in after the facts when everybody thought you did cocaine I asked coco the other day if I was allowed to bring up that story during my best man speech and he said yes, yeah nice, we'll see why not.
Speaker 2:I don't see, why not, yeah, why not?
Speaker 1:No, it's perfect yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So before we became officially friends, I thought this motherfucker was snorting coke in his bathroom.
Speaker 1:Farha's going to have to explain what Coke is to. Kk if she's there, coca-cola.
Speaker 2:That's where you work at. Eh, that's Diet.
Speaker 3:Coke, god damn it.
Speaker 1:Why would he put that in his nose?
Speaker 2:Don't eat his nose, coco's so silly.
Speaker 5:He's trying to drink it and it went in his nose, honey, that's all why is it coco and e-wear?
Speaker 1:what does this sound?
Speaker 2:alert sound like, oh man, don't do that again.
Speaker 4:Funny enough that's coming was that what the homeless exact?
Speaker 2:sound when Zito's coming.
Speaker 1:Was that what the homeless guy sounded like? No, not really.
Speaker 4:Hey, it was just like talking to himself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was just very loudly talking to himself Can.
Speaker 5:I make. What Can you make the sound of Yoshi when he's coming?
Speaker 1:I don't know that I could do that right now.
Speaker 4:It's like All right, let's see How's that go, Mickey?
Speaker 3:How would I do?
Speaker 1:How would Yoshi sound when he's coming?
Speaker 2:Well, when he's eating pussy, it's like Into the mind of Yoshi. You're giving back shots to Birdo.
Speaker 4:You're giving back shots to Birdo. There we go.
Speaker 1:That's pretty good.
Speaker 2:I mean, I wouldn't know, but I assume that's pretty good.
Speaker 1:Murky just about spit out whatever he was fucking eating.
Speaker 2:You really got into character. Your face was going. That's the only way I can do you.
Speaker 1:I have to basically take my entire voice box and fucking face and make it like half the size, and then I have to falsetto, and then I have to falsetto on top of doing that to get it to actually work. For those of you who know what a falsetto is the upper most range of your voice. It's whenever your voice cracks and goes high.
Speaker 4:Oh, we learned something new today.
Speaker 1:Like that.
Speaker 4:Like whenever you get up there.
Speaker 1:But like, the more pressure you put on it, the louder it goes.
Speaker 4:But after a while it's not like this the more pressure I put on you, the louder you go.
Speaker 1:I'm going to stick my dick in a little bump. Oh, that was.
Speaker 5:That was the sound of my dick inflating I feel like that sounds more like stitch, as like he's walking you down what me, my, my, my, yoshi voice when I'm not doing Yoshi?
Speaker 1:Yeah, cause I literally derived it from from stitch Right and if you, if you, if you do it, if I talk, normally it sounds more like a stitch voice, right, um.
Speaker 1:But if I do the Yoshi and like on top of it it's the same voice. It's just how much pressure I put into it. And then when you're doing smiegel or golem, you're just like it's like the same thing in the back of your throat. It's just different pitch and tone and stuff like that. So it's like literally the same voice. If you can do one of them, you can do all three of those, although your voice will hate you for it, you know makes sense.
Speaker 5:I feel like that's why I reverted to the southern accent in the dnd campaign, because I was trying to go like low gruff uh, you know fat orc voice and I didn.
Speaker 2:yes, when are y'all at in it, Like how far?
Speaker 1:Spooky, spooky, devil. Yes.
Speaker 2:That's really up to Matt man, yeah.
Speaker 3:They're still a little bit past the prologue. They're still in what I would call like the first chapter of this, because we're stupid.
Speaker 1:Scott showed up and touched us.
Speaker 3:They have information, they have goals. They have goals, but they have to decide which way to go. Very shortly, big things are about to happen in the small town of Falaki, and that's all I'm going to say about that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in other words, we're all fucked because we can't make any decisions.
Speaker 2:We make decisions, we just make the wrong ones. Yeah, just make the wrong ones we're like this sounds fun.
Speaker 1:Send me down a fucking chimney to go do something and then everybody walks away after I succeeded doing everything.
Speaker 5:The guards scared me, and then you know what happened. When did you turn back? Father Lucian was like don't tell anybody, I'm like, alright, I bet that's what I thought.
Speaker 2:What happened because you opened the door and we left was Strahd showed up.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, that was the consequences of our actions. Yeah, we should have finished that. We should have just did it. I didn't know what the fuck we were doing.
Speaker 5:Well, I was in there. We should have just did it. I didn't know what the fuck we were doing.
Speaker 1:Well, I was in there. I've never done this. This is my first campaign ever. I was in the building. You fucking leave your friend.
Speaker 5:I just walked across the street to buy meats for everyone.
Speaker 1:And then everybody dragged me away. I'm going to fucking give you meat.
Speaker 2:Well, coco, here's the thing. Now you basically have to be the ace in our next session, because you know what's not gonna happen?
Speaker 1:because fucking 17 goddamn 20s were rolled in the last session. I ain't gonna be doing shit. It's gonna be like it's gonna be like that goddamn fucking meme where everybody in the previous session is like I played my part, I played my part. I played my part. It gets to me it's. I didn't do fucking shit.
Speaker 2:I tried to sneak through a hallway.
Speaker 4:I knocked over three vases.
Speaker 5:They were all filled with flowers. I knocked them over and shattered them.
Speaker 1:Fun fact, matt may have only described two of them. I don't know where the third one came from. Hi Jiraiya, hi. Jiraiya hi jiraya hi jiraya, did you hear? You hear him going fucking? Sure did he wants some pets coco, what's this about you?
Speaker 2:for you just trying to snickers. Was it a snickers for the first time in your life? Snickers and twix you've never had it as a kid like yeah no, I was fucked up by that. I'm like you're telling me.
Speaker 1:Yeah that really bothered me. I was like I couldn't tell you if I had it as a kid. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:But you did like the Twix. Right, I liked the Twix, Didn't like the Snickers the Snickers Now I feel like you would have liked the Snickers if you would have turned it upside down and slid it in slowly so you could feel the veins on it. You told him to flip it over and tell him to get the veins side down. No, I mean, the Twix was good. I didn't really like that. I'm not like a big fan of nuts and chocolate combined.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I've heard different. You love nuts.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I don't love them dipped in chocolate.
Speaker 2:I don't know, that's not what Zeno told us. I heard that too. Yeah, but I don't love them dipped in chocolate. I don't know.
Speaker 1:I heard you like to get pooped on dude. When did you hear this?
Speaker 5:All the time.
Speaker 1:I heard it also too.
Speaker 2:I wasn't going to bring it up Anybody getting pooped on everyone's like.
Speaker 5:oh, coco loves that. I'm like whoa, that's weird, coco loves that.
Speaker 4:Dusty told me that you like getting pooped on too.
Speaker 5:Not told me that you like getting puked on too. Not factual. I would throw up, would you? I have a queasy stomach.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I'd fucking yeah, I feel like I would also vomit if that happened to me you're probably into it.
Speaker 1:You're silently into it.
Speaker 2:He is into it, he's into roping or whatever it's called what did you just say? Roping. Oh, there's an o, there's an o. The term is rigging. Rigging, that's what it is I mean.
Speaker 1:I mean, I'm just glad I clarified, because I did not hear roping and I was like the I know this podcast goes far, but okay okay is that the limit?
Speaker 2:yeah, what coco heard is something I will never do.
Speaker 1:I feel like we have to have a limit on some things. Yeah, there's a line.
Speaker 2:Hmm, anyways.
Speaker 5:I mean we did talk about like beating off with masks on in front of a fucking door with a keyhole in it.
Speaker 4:So that was that was consensual yeah.
Speaker 1:You're not gonna fucking.
Speaker 5:We knew what we were after the last thing.
Speaker 1:I need is the fucking NYPD showing up and fucking oh no but you're not in New York.
Speaker 2:Why would the NYPD?
Speaker 1:show up. I don't know, fucking. Detective Benson heard something FBI open up.
Speaker 5:Cogs and cuffs.
Speaker 2:That's already his kink. He's in that like every other night yeah cuff him.
Speaker 1:I don't know why that one's so funny. It's so stupid, but it's so funny. I like the one that goes he's pulling his cock out that one, I think, is where's it at. I think I've overused it, so I removed it off the soundboard have a different one.
Speaker 2:Oh, sad oh.
Speaker 5:I have something else. I'm already in the soundboard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm already here and we've entered the soundboard phase of our yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm going to stop Prepare yourself Listener. That's annoying.
Speaker 1:Prepare yourself. I need silence okay that wasn't as loud on my end, but that was quiet on our end that? Did you just hear that? That was the shot from the United CEO. It just made its way over here.
Speaker 4:I was gonna ask.
Speaker 5:I'm going to hell. You know they try.
Speaker 1:Have used a pilot that was the second shot. There was another CEO just murdered. Oh damn, I'm gonna open my TikTok later and it's gonna be like a fucking blue cross CEO was murdered. I'll be like fuck, I caused that to happen. That was literally me causing it to happen.
Speaker 2:I fired one for bring back the snack rat and if you guys seen Wicked causing it to happen, I fired the President McDonald's one for Bring Back the Snack Rat. Good have you guys seen Wicked.
Speaker 1:No, I have not. No, I saw it last week, you know it's. You went and saw it.
Speaker 2:Is it alright, not bad. Like I'm not a musical guy, like I'm okay with musicals, they're not my favorite, they're not my least favorite, I'm guy like I'm okay with musicals. They're not my favorite. They're not my least favorite. I'm okay with them. It's an almost three hour movie but it didn't feel like it was almost three hours, like it was enough to entertain me. There was even a jump scare in it.
Speaker 3:I was absolutely surprised that there was a flying monkey jump scare the movie is longer than the entire play and the movie only goes through the first act.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I learned the book that is based on has bestiality in it because it does.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah, who's fucking who?
Speaker 5:It's a new type. Was in fucking wicked. Yeah, fucking fucking sexual predator Typhlosions.
Speaker 1:And in fucking Wicked yeah, Typhlosion. Fucking sexual predator Typhlosions in Wicked man. That happened too while we were on break Fucking the Nintendo leaks. And then, to cover their ass, they decided to sue Power World even more Over fucking copyright or patent infringement, not copyright.
Speaker 2:But all I got to say is like Typhlosion got the most heat when, like there were, had more stories.
Speaker 5:There was a bunch of them. Dude which one. There was a lot but Typhlosion got the most heat. Well, it's because I was sitting at the airport waiting for a flight and I like two hours and all of a sudden my TikTok's like hey, do you want to know what Pokemon fuck people?
Speaker 1:I'm like whoa, and one after another, that's what I got dude, I think the reason for I don't know what the other stories are, but I know the typhlosion one a little bit but it's just basically like fucking when you read it. It's like the girl got kidnapped. She closed her eyes and woke up the next day and there was a child. That's like kind of like the gist of the story and it's like okay. So he kidnapped her, kept her knocked out for who knows how long while she gave birth to a kid that's kind of weird.
Speaker 2:That was actually an ai mistranslation. The person ran it through ai to get it translated. Ai is not perfect at translating so it really fucked up the story. So it's close to a myth about a certain yokai that's basically a uh, a badger, I think, because I think that's what typhlosion is inspired by. Is this yokai that's a badger and she goes out into the forest. She's supposed to be looking for something because her father sent her out there and she kind of more gets.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to remember what the fall in love with your captor, what that thing's called yeah, so she basically got readily available in my brain over time she like she learns that this man that's been protecting her was actually a typhlosion and eventually they like start a family and then her dad comes in and like, kills the Typhlosion, takes her back. But because she has, like, this child of a Typhlosion, all the other people in the village make fun of her and they throw like the dead skin of the Typhlosion on her and the child and they become Typhlosions. Oh yeah, it's a really weird. I think I read the same thing asions. Oh yeah, it's a really weird story.
Speaker 5:I think I read the same thing as E. Yep, I think I read the same exact thing as E, because I'm like this is too long and just fucking like yeah, it's really weird. Weird as fuck.
Speaker 4:I don't believe that you can actually read.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, your intelligence is sick.
Speaker 2:He has a lot more than you guys give him credit.
Speaker 4:Hey, I got accepted into college.
Speaker 5:He's told me many times he's illiterate.
Speaker 4:That is my main argument for why I don't do stuff the right way.
Speaker 2:I would firmly believe it if Coco told me he's illiterate, joke's on you I can't fucking read.
Speaker 5:What do you mean?
Speaker 2:I don't know. You never finished a book before, so I would believe it if you told me you were dyslexic or you were illiterate or something.
Speaker 1:I'm definitely not illiterate because I can read. It's more like I don't have the attention span to stay reading something.
Speaker 4:Yeah because he's autistic, right.
Speaker 1:All I gotta say is, when I was teaching, autistic kids did like to read well, I mean, you got that combined with ADHD, so it's like I have all the motivation and zero motivation at the same time.
Speaker 2:So it's like a fucking circuit breaker constantly going off for me, it's really hard to read a book because I get so easily distracted unless I feel like I can connect to the main character somehow. I feel like I can connect to the main character somehow and feel like I can be invested, but the moment I'm like, yeah, I don't give a shit about this main character.
Speaker 1:I guess that's probably my problem, because I can never connect with the characters at all. Ever You're supposed to imagine stuff when you're reading and stuff like that that I don't do that so yeah. I can't actually I've never like whenever, when I've read stories, like I don't physically imagine what's happening, I'm just reading the words and understanding the words, and I that's how I read you know Coco's reading green eggs and ham and he's like man, fuck the Sam.
Speaker 1:I am honestly, I do way better when there are pictures, because I don't imagine things you know that's fair.
Speaker 2:I can understand that, like some aid in visualization, reading Fifty Shades of Grey would do nothing for you because you don't have pictures, it would straight up have to be porn for him.
Speaker 1:I have a question for you guys.
Speaker 2:I'm very curious to see what your answers are.
Speaker 1:So if you were to count, close your eyes and count sheep, do you like physically see the sheep? I?
Speaker 2:have actually attempted this fairly recently and, yes, I tried to envision the sheep, the fence, the pasture that we're in, like there's a background to this. I envision clouds.
Speaker 5:I get the fence and the sheep Clouds jumping over.
Speaker 1:You guys actually see stuff.
Speaker 3:Yes, haley has the same problem. You know where I'm going with this. We've had this discussion a lot. That's one of the reasons that I have to use maps in D&D, because she cannot picture like imagine a 3d space in her mind I was literally about to get there and say that I have the exact same thing.
Speaker 1:I was like I was reading, I was like I got, I got a tiktok video and they said, like somebody was talking about this, where they were, like you know, when you close your eyes and you count sheep and you know you're supposed to actually see the sheep. I was like what?
Speaker 2:I've always heard that as like the apple thing, where how you picture an apple in your mind is like supposed to determine something.
Speaker 4:I don't remember. People can't picture color in their imagination too, which is bizarre to me.
Speaker 3:I mean.
Speaker 1:You're a fucking asshole.
Speaker 4:Batman's colorblind.
Speaker 2:I can't see color anyway, so I feel like we need to play Hughes and Hughes with Batman.
Speaker 1:Well man, maybe this explains why I don't like reading Hughes.
Speaker 2:Only he is telling us what he thinks the color is that would be pretty entertaining.
Speaker 1:I think it'd be fun pull it up right now he's here that's a board game. Oh, never mind, I didn't know either that was okay before I thought he was talking about something that he had online that he was ready to go with. But yeah, so like I like can't close my eyes and imagine sheep. In fact, when you just said thinking of an apple, like I was able to kind of like I can it's really weird to describe, like I don't see it, but like I kind of know what it is.
Speaker 3:Conceptually it's there, but it's not a physical thing that you could reach out and touch if it were in the real world. I've had very long discussions with my wife about this because I find it fascinating, because I can't imagine being in that space, especially with someone who is as voracious of a reader as she is, to not be able to, like, literally picture these things in your mind's eye, even just reading the description. You can't put that into an actual, like painting in your brain. Yeah, you, just again. You know the concept of it is there, you know of its existence, but further description does nothing for you. That's why she can't read Tolkien, because he spends three pages describing a tree and she's done by the first sentence.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Apparently the Apple test is called the Amphantasia test. I put it in the group chat there.
Speaker 5:With you guys talking like I can't even start to see an outline of such. Probably enough. Yeah, just with Eddie. I took my headphones off and like, put them behind and even like, just like a little bit of background chatter that I can't even make out as words. It completely eliminates that ability. Just a little bit of background chatter that I can't even make out as words. It completely eliminates that ability. Oddly enough, if I lay down and it's silent and the fan is going and I have a background noise, that's consistent.
Speaker 2:I can so kind of a white noise or something.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think I'm kind of the same way. I can't picture it right now, but I know I definitely can.
Speaker 5:Right, I know I can, it's just, whatever circumstances I'm under at this point, I am unable to achieve such goal.
Speaker 4:I'm super jealous of people being able to see images in their brain now.
Speaker 2:I had a dream last night that Dusty was a construction worker, and it may have awoken something in me what happened?
Speaker 1:I found this vest in the closet something has happened and I just I stopped paying attention for a half a second and murky pulls a goddamn construction jacket from the side of his god damn you know where that's from xeno the veil academy from what that's from the side of his god damn.
Speaker 5:You know where that's from Zeno the veil academy from what that's from the veil institute down in Texas yeah, I didn't get a fucking vest.
Speaker 1:You weren't cool enough no, I got a magnet they say good job, kid, you're not gonna make it they gave us magnets.
Speaker 5:I took a sleep aid the other night and had some weird vivid-ass dream kind of shit going on.
Speaker 4:I mean the magnet's way more useful than that fucking stupid-ass vest you got there.
Speaker 5:Yeah, but you can't do sex stuff with a magnet. Well, I guess you could, but I could do a lot of sex stuff with a Magnet Ascii.
Speaker 3:That's what. I'm saying You're not trying hard enough.
Speaker 1:You got a titanium rod in your dick, wow.
Speaker 5:This is not the sounding episode. We did that one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but that one did pretty good it did One of our best episodes.
Speaker 2:Which one was it Sounding in Hell with?
Speaker 1:Satan. That's because we were talking about Murky's mom and somehow sounding in hell. I haven't logged into the fucking website in a while. I lowered our subscription plan so it just keeps you in the social lives.
Speaker 5:We blew up while we were gone. Now we're super famous and we have no idea. Dude, that would be horrible.
Speaker 2:Why do you think I'm out? I'm trying to jump on the bandwidth. Yes, you guys have no idea trying to jump on the bandwagon.
Speaker 3:You guys have no idea.
Speaker 5:You guys are like you guys are trending, you guys are trending.
Speaker 2:Alright, let me go ahead and log in here, berkey, you're talking about Sleep Aid. What do you mean Sleep Aid? It's called alcohol. No, it was off-brand melatonin basically. Okay, because I got a melatonin gummy. Yo, I know I'm old, got a cpap and it freaking changed my life hell yeah, when did you get that?
Speaker 4:I probably should do a cpap, like three months ago oh, was it like right after we talked yeah, because I found out I had 76 apneas per hour, which is more than one I had.
Speaker 1:I had 64.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so they told me, 35% of the time I'm not breathing. So when I go to sleep and sleep nine hours, a little over three hours, I'm not even breathing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's an apneic event is 10 seconds without breathing 10 seconds.
Speaker 2:yeah, I was having 76 an hour.
Speaker 1:Now.
Speaker 2:I'm down to two Now. I'm down to two an hour, man, and I feel so much better.
Speaker 1:I. I'm down to two now. I'm down to an hour, man, and I feel so much better.
Speaker 2:I'm down to like five an hour, but like I feel so much, yeah, mine fluctuates, sometimes it's like three or four, but still I'm not falling asleep it's a lot better than you up 60 or 70.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, yeah, definitely for sure wow, they really changed the buzzsprout site yeah, you mean. I mean you should do this, since the CEOs being swapped out.
Speaker 2:I don't know what those words were those fucking words.
Speaker 5:What was that?
Speaker 1:I don't even know what I was doing there, but you know you gotta get it before they get a new CEO he's gonna go in there and fucking ban CPAPs from policies yeah, those bitches are expensive, man sounding in hell. Sounding in Hell is actually fourth on the top of all time.
Speaker 4:Hell yeah, what's third?
Speaker 1:You want to take a guess?
Speaker 2:The Foodo game.
Speaker 1:No, those aren't on here actually.
Speaker 2:Really, I listened to it like 400 times. It should be up there in the top five.
Speaker 5:I'm laughing at Cade right now, who is. He'll scratch his head and then he licks his paws, and then he scratches his head and he licks his paws, and he scratches his head and he licks his paws, and he's doing both at the same time.
Speaker 1:The third one is he's pulling his cock out.
Speaker 4:Classic. That's when we discovered the soundboard.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes and that was just dumb. And that that was just dumb. The worst season finale ever. Season 2, episode 20 is uh, second and welcome to the shit show is the first.
Speaker 4:That was the last episode we did right what?
Speaker 1:no, that was the last.
Speaker 2:That was the last episode of the first season, right the second season oh, we've only done two seasons, right we're.
Speaker 1:We're in season three, you dumbass.
Speaker 2:I thought you were in season two. No, we're in season two.
Speaker 1:The last fucking 20 episodes started with S3 episode number. We're in season three. For fuck's sakes.
Speaker 4:I don't know what I'm doing here. No shit, I don't even know where I am half the time You're dead now?
Speaker 1:No shit, how do you?
Speaker 2:know where I am half the time. You're dead now, oh God.
Speaker 4:I'm going to leave. There's someone running through Central.
Speaker 5:Park and people walking over your body.
Speaker 1:Dude. You know, what would have been even funnier is if that guy, like, did it without a mask and he was bald and had a fucking barcode on the back of his head.
Speaker 4:Oh man, I think maybe he went in the central park and they couldn't find him because he was hiding in a cardboard box.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's just sitting there. He's still sitting there to this day.
Speaker 4:It's a metal gear reference to this day. You know, like if I was working security and I saw a fucking cardboard box move, I'd look the other way. I'd be like, no, I'm not fucking with that, I'm going to choose life. Yeah, I'm not fucking with that cardboard box because if he's here, I'm on the wrong team right now and I'm going to let him do him or he's gonna do you yeah, he probably would win.
Speaker 1:Win, yeah, honestly would you let him kiss you?
Speaker 4:oh yeah, I think he would yeah fucking rigged.
Speaker 1:But would you give him tongue? Uh, I don't think he would give him tongue, it would just be forced on him at that point we're talking like big boss or like solid snake absolutely like.
Speaker 4:It's not even about if I want to just be forced on him at that point. We're talking like big boss or like solid snake absolutely like. It's not even about if I want to, I have to. I don't even think you could stop it if you're obligated, there's no way like there's no obligation to it.
Speaker 2:That's solid snake wait, would you tongue solid snake or the or the box?
Speaker 5:oh yes, solid snakes box. Solid snakes box yeah.
Speaker 1:Conveniently. It's from the local fish market. What is the box?
Speaker 4:Why is that convenient Climby?
Speaker 1:Never mind, it made sense in my head, were you trying to picture it, I think.
Speaker 2:Coco was referring to the smell of fish and he couldn't picture it.
Speaker 4:He couldn't picture it, oh boy your face is really red yeah probably because I'm sick you've been sick for how long?
Speaker 1:fucking 30 days. Huh, he's got fucking. United Healthcare or whatever fucking has his insurance man, no wonder why you're so reluctant to always go to the doctor you know I really good thing you don't have to.
Speaker 4:It's mostly because I was raised a poor kid and we didn't go to the doctors for anything you better be dying?
Speaker 4:yeah, exactly so. Like I've always like put myself in the habit of not going to the doctor because I'm like that shit's expensive and we can't afford it. And then I'm like, wait, you're an adult and you have health care and you can go to the doctor, like I'm getting a tooth removed. I was like man, like a wisdom tooth, like that shit's gonna be fucking expensive. And then I checked my hsa account and I have like three grand in there just chilling and I'm like, oh, I guess I can go have this tooth removed and it's not gonna cost me anything, because thank god I've saved up money over the course of the last 10 years to pay for this one instance.
Speaker 4:Actually, over the last year and and it's only going to cost me $300 to remove anesthesia and everything I'm telling you I could have just came over with some really heavy-duty fishing line tied to your mouth.
Speaker 2:That Zeno asked you specifically to yank that bitch out and you refused. I mean I could tie it up and stuff.
Speaker 5:I just need him to. I would need him to do the act. I don't think I could actively hurt my friend and rip a tooth out of his fucking skull.
Speaker 4:In hurting me. You would have been doing me a service, though, too.
Speaker 5:Would I, when you know we have less than you know? We have subpar places to treat such a open wound in your mouth. I don't have the shit to put in there. I don't know what the fuck they put in there to keep from getting infected. What happens when we do it and the fishing line I used got a little dust on it, a little bacteria, and then you get a serious infection in your mouth and then they're like fuck, do we have cut out a section of your jaw now?
Speaker 4:If he gets MRSA, he gets MRSA. Okay, at least the tooth fairy comes, that's all that matters. Mouth heals faster than any other part of your body, so like, look, two days later would have been fine just because your mouth gets beat up by wieners doesn't mean it's stronger and or heals faster than other mouths that's a fact, that's a real thing.
Speaker 1:Your mouth probably could handle a good wiener beating because it's also made from the same material as your rectum.
Speaker 4:Does that make blue drops for me feel better?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because he takes so much cock in his ass.
Speaker 2:How do we go from mouth to ass in his ass?
Speaker 4:don't give me anxiety as far as shirt says bruh, yeah, bruh, bruh, I love it.
Speaker 2:And my daughter says bro, all the time she calls frogs. Bro, don't call me bro, I'm your mom, I'm your mom. All right, bro, bro, bro.
Speaker 5:My mom would have hit me with her fucking leg dude, With her fake ass, peg leg bro.
Speaker 1:We just rip that off and beat you with it, peggy.
Speaker 5:Oh, she'd be like oh murky rip that off and beat you with it, peggy. Oh she'd be like oh, murky, I got. I got the nails done on my fake leg. Oh, mom, that looks really nice, what color did you get? She'd be like, and then talk shit about something I did three weeks prior. I told you I wouldn't forget, motherfucker, I didn't forget.
Speaker 1:I forgot. What am I being punished for?
Speaker 5:oh, dude, I ever tell you guys about the time I talked about shit, about my mom's fucking prosthetic leg, and then proceed to run around the house. When she was like trying to talk to me about it, I was just like, oh, you're so slow like there's no way you could catch me physically yeah, jumping over a bad shit, yeah, okay yeah, season one, episode eight, I believe.
Speaker 4:I feel like.
Speaker 5:I believe you.
Speaker 4:I'm not even gonna fact check.
Speaker 1:You're right, that's the one so you know I can't go search the transcript, so we're just gonna have to believe it three screens up, one with each season of the podcast and all the episodes labeled Right. That's right. Fucking Farha right now, with the numbers and fucking words going by him, I can't see it.
Speaker 5:I can see it in his glasses.
Speaker 4:I can see the equations going.
Speaker 1:I can't see it because I can't imagine that Right right, right, yeah, I can't imagine that but, Right, right, right. Yeah, I can. How does it feel?
Speaker 2:Feels pretty good actually. I mean, knowing you can't and I can makes me feel like I'm superior.
Speaker 4:Makes me feel like I'm better somehow. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I'm not as tall as you.
Speaker 1:I don't have a comeback. That's not mean.
Speaker 2:I'm short, I know.
Speaker 1:I wasn't going to say that, because that's just not funny anymore. You got to be something other than short no, that's all he's good for all I remember is the first time that Farha came up to me and E, and as he got closer he started looking up more and more and more and he was like why are you guys so tall? And I'm like I don't know, why are you so fucking short?
Speaker 2:wait, was that when you guys were wearing the carrot costumes? Was that the very first time.
Speaker 1:That was the very first time we met, because we were outside of that bar and you just like walked up and you're like why do you guys have to be so tall?
Speaker 2:oh yes I remember yeah, and you were so yeah well, well, because from far away I'm like, oh, look at these guys. Oh, like he looks hot coco, looks fucking weird. So I'm like walking up and like, okay, they're getting bigger. Uh, they're pretty tall okay all right, cool.
Speaker 5:Not easy to be at five9, or I understand, yeah, but you have a fucking voluptuous ass yeah, that is true, I got the thick, short dude build. If you need to lift something, you just look behind me and you see the dump truck. You're like I bet that motherfucker lift a lot dude if you arch your back, I can use your ass as a bench and just sit down. Some may call it.
Speaker 2:Oh God, that's nice Dummy For the audio listeners. He's showing us his badunga dunk.
Speaker 1:My neck's so fucking hard right now. Hang on, I got BRB.
Speaker 5:It ain't easy being cheesy.
Speaker 1:Come back without my shirt on and fucking white shit all over me.
Speaker 5:Completely covered in oil. I'd prefer a cocoa to smoke a cigar actually.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cocoa does look like a cigar guy.
Speaker 4:I feel like cocoa would smoke a pipe Coco's a pipe guy. Agreed Distinguished.
Speaker 5:He doesn't even have to smoke it because you know, if he inhales it he's probably going to have to die. Yeah, he would die obviously.
Speaker 1:You're not supposed to inhale a cigar either. To be fair, Close right out.
Speaker 5:That's you. You ever had the Cuba, cubas, no, the. What? Now you know you've had these. You've you actually smoked one with me at one point? The Cuba, cuba that has the blue label. I forget the actual manufacturer. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3:They're really fucking good. They're really good and they're not not overly expensive.
Speaker 5:It's really fucking good. They're really good and they're not not overly expensive.
Speaker 4:It's like it was nine or ten dollar fucking cigar, if I remember right, and vacation really good that was the day um, everybody fucking went the same way yeah, the next girlfriend of mine was moving out and she like packed up a trailer left in the time that she was like taking her shit to her new apartment. Danny and david, I believe, had run to the um liquor store and bought cigars and a case of beer. So like, when she came back, there's five of us sitting out front of my house smoking cigars and drinking this fucking 24 pack of Bud Light. She was so pissed she was bitching about it to my hairdresser. She was like, yeah, I fucking saw your old girl earlier today and she was all kinds of pissed off. She was like man fucking, he doesn't even care Him, and his friends were outside smoking cigars and fucking drinking beer, having a good time. And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah and then she.
Speaker 5:Then she wanted us to go help her move into her new apartment. We're like fuck you yeah I'm not doing that I think we get one run out of the kindness for her, like, hey, we'll bring some of the bigger stuff, but after that you're on your fucking own yeah, like, uh, she, we loaded up the trailer or something.
Speaker 4:She's like so you guys just going to meet me at the apartment. And I was like, no, what? Like these guys are helping move your shit out and move my shit around. They're not helping you move in. So she was all mad at me. She was like, well, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Like I didn't have people come help because you had all these people here. I was like, well, I mean, you can ask them if they'll help you, but uh, otherwise, you should probably call some of your friends that you said was going to be here but for some reason aren't now see if they'll help you.
Speaker 4:And she asked david and danny if, uh, they would help her move in. And david's like, yeah, I guess I'll do that. And she walked away and goes shawnee. I'm fucking telling you right now, I ain't fucking moving that shit into any apartment, I'm taking it off the fucking truck and putting it on the fucking curb and leaving. I was like she was on the third floor of this apartment complex too. Dude's like I ain't fucking moving shit up no fucking apartment stairs. And she ended up getting another friend to come and help her and shit. But I remember the hairdresser was like so how you doing?
Speaker 4:I was like, dude, I'm doing fucking great, I'm fucking drinking beer and smoking cigars with the boys like it's fun times fucker yeah, I remember I was in the basement because a co-worker of mine had come over and was gonna help run uh like a ground to an electric socket, so the socket would have grounds on it, obviously. And my one buddy came downstairs and he's just like hey. I was like hey, how's it going? He goes. Yeah, your uh ex-girlfriend up there uh looked at me and looked at a box and was like this can go out now. And I just looked at her and was like cool, I'm gonna go find shod. And here I am. I was like right on, she was just like trying to order people around of like what could go out so she didn't have to move right.
Speaker 5:You should be working harder than anybody right now.
Speaker 4:This is all your shit it was good reason why that relationship didn't work out what a bitch.
Speaker 5:Yeah, she sounds like a bitch fate had different things in mind, and it was me fucking then murky moved in.
Speaker 4:She was all mad about that too. A couple weeks later she was like did you seriously move him in? I was like yeah. That's my bro, she was like you've known him for like two months, I was like yeah, I know he's a better roommate than you.
Speaker 5:I'm dying for this motherfucker bro. He's willing to die for me and I'll die for him. All right, because neither one of us care enough to live any longer.
Speaker 4:Yeah exactly, shit was wild, uh, we played monster hunter all the time. Oh, dude, we played so much fucking monster hunter. It was insane. Wilds is gonna oh my god so hard for that monster and wilds is gonna be my so hard for that monster Wilds is gonna be the best thing that's ever.
Speaker 5:Happened early next year.
Speaker 4:Oh, I have to fucking. Yeah, coco.
Speaker 5:Coco, I know you're in for Wilds. I watched you play the beta for Quite some time yeah, you were enjoying.
Speaker 1:Oh my fucking Christ, lord Farquaad, he's. He's the Best thing ever. I don't know Farha saw Lord Farquaad. Lord Farquaad, he's the best thing ever.
Speaker 5:I don't know if Farha saw Lord Farquaad if you guys would like to catch Lord Farquaad, tune in to the Coder Coco have you seen, lord Farquaad, that I made no hang on.
Speaker 1:I'm opening up right now so I could share what it looks like. Come on, start quicker, damn it. Yeah, we're not as quick as a can cigars for the wedding shit? This is gonna be so much stuff. You guys, I'm going live with the middle monitor, and I'm going live with the middle monitor and I'm going to pull up the twitch fishing over here, which I think.
Speaker 2:Oh, is Lord Firecrow one of the things you can catch.
Speaker 1:Yes, but hang on, where is it at?
Speaker 2:Maybe I have seen it.
Speaker 1:There we go. All right, you guys can see the thingy.
Speaker 5:See stream paused.
Speaker 2:Sit tight, what do?
Speaker 4:you mean Coder Coco has minimized their application.
Speaker 1:What application did I minimize? I'm just telling you what it fucking says, bro. I started streaming OBS. I don't know why you're yelling at me. I'm yelling telling you what a fucking says, bro. I streamed. I started streaming OBS.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I don't know why you're yelling at me.
Speaker 1:I'm yelling at everybody, I don't know if I heard you today, but I'm freaking fucking sure it wasn't me Xeno's done nothing. All right. Which fucking screen is this?
Speaker 4:Yeah, just like at work. There we go, whoa, and then I'm like, hey, how's it going?
Speaker 2:and I'm like, hey, how's it?
Speaker 1:going and he's like, hey, hang on, that's it, at least you minimize your porn hub.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I did, uh, so is porn hub still legal and or whatever I?
Speaker 2:don't know, I don't watch it over there no, it's actually not.
Speaker 5:Oh no, he's in it's not he's in okay, I have to say that henta donkey show is the wildest search thing I've ever seen in all my life, so congrats to you sir.
Speaker 1:What is that? That's Lord Farquaad. That's Lord Farquaad In Monster Hunter. Yeah, I made Lord Farquaad. Yeah, that was your Monster.
Speaker 4:Hunter Wilds character. Yeah dude, yeah he had.
Speaker 2:Is there really a Lord Farquaad in Monster Hunter?
Speaker 1:This is my character creation, if you make them and name them that there can be Gotcha Gotcha. Yeah, so I made Lord Farquaad Fucking ugly. That was the point. He is beautiful. He is beautiful. He has such a square face. It is incredible. But yeah, so, lord Farquaad. Also, while I was pulling that up, what were you guys talking about? I kind of heard something. I don't know what you actually said I was paying attention. What about porn?
Speaker 5:you popped up your screen, the first thing I saw was the henta donkey show, or hentai donkey show. Search history, and that's just wild, I don't know why you're surprised.
Speaker 1:I'm fucking autistic. It's the fucking, my little pony know why you're surprised.
Speaker 5:I'm fucking autistic. It's the fucking. My Little Pony OC Pony Dewdrop, Starshine.
Speaker 1:Do you want me to pull up with my porn browser?
Speaker 2:and really show you something.
Speaker 5:No, Don't beat my dick to MLB, you're not even close.
Speaker 1:We don't need to see your search history. You're not even close to how weird some of the stuff I have saved is.
Speaker 2:And I'd rather not know. You have porn saved? I don't think.
Speaker 5:I would. I have a bookmark.
Speaker 1:How much doubt Show us your bookmark Show us your bookmark in real time. Do you want me to open up the fucking bookmark? I don't think you guys want that. I don't.
Speaker 2:The bookmark will probably say Farha in a maid outfit, and it'll fucking freak me out.
Speaker 5:Brassican tentacle, my little pony. Obviously consensual. Obviously there's tags for non-consensual Destruction. Yeah, extreme destruction.
Speaker 1:What do we get what?
Speaker 2:do you get Anal?
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot Destruction.
Speaker 2:What do we get? What do you get Anal? Yeah, there's a lot.
Speaker 5:There's a lot. There's a lot. The first thing is definitely a job.
Speaker 2:Save it for season four.
Speaker 1:Save it for season four. He's trying to be nice over there because he's trying not to fucking hate on furries and autistic people now.
Speaker 4:That reminds me, um, you remember the two younger kids that show up at the card shop? E, uh, vaguely so. Uh, dr fart was playing the older of the two younger kids and she was talking about how she's from Chicago and he's like, oh my gosh, I'm going to go there this weekend. And she's like, oh cool, what for? And he's like the furry con on Friday, my parents are letting me skip school and stuff and I'm going to go and I'm really excited about it. And Dr Fry's like, oh, that's great. Like I don't know, maybe 16. Oh yeah. So, dr Farts, like I was trying to be really excited for him but I was just like, oh yeah, that's, that's awesome. I'm sure you're going to have a great time there. Oh, dr, it's a real kid, sure you're going to have a great time there, ugh, you say Dr Fart, for real.
Speaker 5:If you want to be grown and do that, you should have at it.
Speaker 4:It's actually Dr Fartpartment. We call her Dr Fart or Farty for short.
Speaker 1:Just like we call you Shorty, I'm all for you.
Speaker 5:You've never done that. Send your fat cock.
Speaker 2:Send your fat cock and we're back.
Speaker 1:I had a crush. I have no idea where we let off, get fucked. I didn't want to end it on just not having an outro.
Speaker 4:We've done that before. It's unoriginal at this point.
Speaker 5:Disrespect asses.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so E and Zeno. You know how the. Leroy Jenkins thing how they. The famous video that we saw is actually just a reenactment of what actually happened.
Speaker 4:Is that true?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because they didn't have the original recorded yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, the chicken one, leroy, is that true? Yeah, because they didn't have the original recorded. Yeah, oh the, at least I got chicken one, Leroy Jenkins.
Speaker 1:That's not real Well what happened is, but like they had to do a reenactment of it because they didn't get it on the they didn't like. Record it back in those days.
Speaker 4:That just shattered my whole childhood.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's super depressing that's why I started playing wow for 16 years anyway. I thought that was well-known information, so I'm sorry about that but anyway, do you care to reenact what you did while my computer was crashing?
Speaker 4:no, yeah, it's like the moment's caught.
Speaker 2:This is now the teacher calling us up to the front of the class to be like and do you want?
Speaker 5:to read this note out loud I don't want to retell.
Speaker 4:You've just now made this awkward is what you've done.
Speaker 1:Zeno has something that he wants to tell you, I would disrespect you.
Speaker 4:Okay, that's fine.
Speaker 2:Froggy would be fine with it too. You wouldn't fucking care she'd record it yeah she would 100. Believe that frog?
Speaker 4:you would just watch they're gonna make new laws after we're done that's why you're gonna need id on the board hub yeah, so well, look at the baby they can upload the fansly yes, absolutely. It's all going to be filmed through a keyhole too hmm, before we leave.
Speaker 2:Speaking of which, did you guys hear about the only fans porn actress who wants to try to sleep with a thousand dudes in one day?
Speaker 4:did not hear about. I did not hear about that. I did hear about the one that was trying to hook up with Elon Musk, though.
Speaker 1:Farhad, do you want to be the thousandth dude or the first dude?
Speaker 2:Oh, the first dude because even by number 20, she won't even know I'm there.
Speaker 4:Dude, you'd have so much unknown DNA on your dick.
Speaker 2:Come on boys, you're as back there as hard as you can well, yeah, like if you're number like 800, you've been waiting for hours. By the time it's showtime.
Speaker 1:You're just, you're over it, yeah it's fucking cat dude, you just fucking stick it in and it's just like, wow, this is just way too open yeah, I remember seeing on, I don't even remember what the show was, but I remember it was on Spike TV when I was a big thing.
Speaker 2:It was one of those dude shows I was in ways to die. No, it was another one, but it was like a porn star who like slept with 100 dudes in one day and the one thing I remember from that was her talking on that episode. She was like, yeah, like after dude dude number 50, it genuinely started to her I was not having fun anymore and I was like, oh god oh so, like what constitutes, like like a finality of it does when you're working for world records.
Speaker 4:I mean, yeah, like they gotta go they gotta do their business they got, like I just imagine you have to do their business.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, this is.
Speaker 1:This is just like a fucking line and you fucking one pump and then move on.
Speaker 5:Yeah, well, yeah, they have a hundred dudes they're all beating their dick at the same time. It's kind of fuck. I couldn't do it. No, yeah me either. Stop looking at my little dick and I'm leaving. I'm leaving as long as.
Speaker 2:Zeno's not before or after me. I'm good, Right, right, right. Well, I mean, if you want to be a part of it, all you got to do is send her a photo of you send her a photo of your driver's license and then a photo of you with your driver's license, and then she just goes off from that. She don't need to see the dick. Huh, you know a lot about that. You've been in a few glory holes, haven't you more?
Speaker 4:than you ever need to know yeah, true, it was just a hole you're supposed to not know who's on the other side.
Speaker 5:It's just a hole in an honor system there hope it's not a dude on the other side.
Speaker 2:It's just a hole in an honor system. An honor, an honor among thieves.
Speaker 5:They're stealing fucking cum shots out there dude. There's no honor among thieves.
Speaker 4:Oh, no, well, that's going to end it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, there will eventually be more ADHD after dark.
Speaker 5:We just don't really know when it's, whenever Coco feels like he's not going to be autistic. We will see you, motherfuckers, in 2025.
Speaker 1:Yeah, goodbye. Goodbye, spooky devil man, spooky devil man.
